shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I went to a bar alone one night, I was drinking my beer when this girl comes over to my table, and looking at me. I wasn't sure what to do so I kind of looked her way and looked back at one of the guys she was sitting with. When I looked back at her again she's really like staring me down now. So I asked if she wanted a drink, she said she couldn't hear me. So moved over a bit and sat closer to her. So she didn't want a drink, and I proceeded to do my worst at moving the conversation forward. I was asking very boring bland questions (where do you work? Live? etc.) almost repeating myself and going blank a couple of times. She didn't smile or play with her hair during that time, but she she did give a hint of a smile when I said sorry "I'm nervous". She did ask me that night where my friends were - I kind of lied and said that I wanted to stick around but they left me. If I remember this got a whimper of a smile from her too. Anyways after maybe 3 minutes of this she finally says, "Is there anything you want to ask before I go back to my friends?" So I asked for her number. I think there were a few guys around looking over at us and she was very careful about me putting the phone flat the table so I guess it'll be harder for the eavesdroppers to see. Anyways she dials in her number, and immediately goes back to her friends. So I sit there drinking my beer for a bit, and noticed the guy she was sitting next to earlier had his hand lightly touching her back - on her waist. While I kept drinking though I noticed this girl looking my way from time to time. So anyways I left the bar 5 minutes later - I didn't say bye or go up to her again. I just left and messaged her that night itself. Next day she messages me. Asking me if I work for a living? I think she might be suspicious about a guy going at it alone at the bar. I sort of side stepped that question... Obviously I work for a living. And I told her that I thought the guy at the bar that night, sitting next to her - I thought might have been her BF? She came back with a pretty long reply, explaining that they're very good friends. And he usually takes care of her at the clubs/bar etc. Then a slightly weird thing she mentioned as well that he's not around in the state where we're at anymore. That night at the bar was his last night. I didn't reply to her after that. But the next day, in the morning I texted her asking if she wanted to meet up for coffee? It's been one day since, and no reply yet. I wasn't exactly charming at the bar, but I have an inkling that chances could be that this girl is taking me for a long ride. Can someone help? Does anyone think I should just leave my message at that and wait for her to reply? Anyways, this is very detailed and long one... so I appreciate any advice I can get for this. Cause this girl is really cute, beautiful, petite... Exactly my type. EXACTLY MY TYPE. Heh...
KBob Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 She came back with a pretty long reply, explaining that they're very good friends. And he usually takes care of her at the clubs/bar etc. Then a slightly weird thing she mentioned as well that he's not around in the state where we're at anymore. That night at the bar was his last night. I didn't reply to her after that. Why not!? You dropped the ball there. By not replying and ignoring that you instantly put it in her mind that you are thinking negatively about her response. That would make me think you're jealous. You have no right to be, and she didn't need to give you any explanations, as you haven't even gone on a date! This girl was opening doors for you and you shut her down. Learn from this and better luck next time.
basil67 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 She doesn't exactly sound like she was an interesting conversationalist. She didn't even do her bit to hold up her end of the conversation. Why are you even bothering to contact her? 2
Popsicle Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I'm a big believer that proximity trumps all else, so go for it. Hopefully she responds.
divegrl Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Ummmmmmm..... I used to frequent Vegas and the story u tell sounds a lot like the ringer games going on there. I could be totallly off the mark.... but the girl sounds like a "lady of the night" and the "guy friend" seems like the one who collects the money. Again I could be completely wrong and I hope I am..... but I would be VERY careful. I've seen one too many guys get scr****d. 4
divegrl Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Actually I went back and reread this post..... now I'm absolutely sure. Staring is a seduction technique. It's used to hook men. They "target" men who are alone. And when she messaged you if you worked.... she was trying to see how much money she could get out of you. I would RUN. The seduction games are very powerful, and once started, it can be hard to pull away. Cut and run NOW. 4
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 QUOTE Why not!? You dropped the ball there. By not replying and ignoring that you instantly put it in her mind that you are thinking negatively about her response. That would make me think you're jealous. You have no right to be, and she didn't need to give you any explanations, as you haven't even gone on a date! This girl was opening doors for you and you shut her down. Learn from this and better luck next time. QUOTE REPLY : I asked her the question to see if she's taking me for a long ride or not... She said... "Yeah looks like bf and gf right? But no - he's my very good friend" ... "Takes care of me when we go out club" etc... I kind of don't know what to believe because she didn't smile much when we were talking. I was a bit awkward to be fair and I noticed her contorting her face quite a bit. Maybe because I have a tendency especially with people I don't know to kind of look at them without blinking much... and we were face to face
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Actually I went back and reread this post..... now I'm absolutely sure. Staring is a seduction technique. It's used to hook men. They "target" men who are alone. And when she messaged you if you worked.... she was trying to see how much money she could get out of you. I would RUN. The seduction games are very powerful, and once started, it can be hard to pull away. Cut and run NOW. That could very well be the case... But there's no hookers at this bar. It's a very friendly type vibe there. Mostly young mid-income earners, students and a sprinkling of older guys.
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 I'm a big believer that proximity trumps all else, so go for it. Hopefully she responds. I mean I did already ask her out... but she just hasn't replied yet. Obviously I don't know if she ever will. But you think I should msg her again?
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 She doesn't exactly sound like she was an interesting conversationalist. She didn't even do her bit to hold up her end of the conversation. Why are you even bothering to contact her? Cause she's so cute... HOT. The only indicator I got that she might be genuine is when I caught her looking back my way a couple of times. That's the only thing that got me thinking.... that maybe she's for real? You know? PLUS She's hot... but I already said that. That said I won't be surprised if she was lying
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Why not!? You dropped the ball there. By not replying and ignoring that you instantly put it in her mind that you are thinking negatively about her response. That would make me think you're jealous. You have no right to be, and she didn't need to give you any explanations, as you haven't even gone on a date! This girl was opening doors for you and you shut her down. Learn from this and better luck next time. I asked her the question to see if she's taking me for a long ride or not... She said in the message... "Yeah looks like bf and gf right? But no - he's my very good friend" ... "Takes care of me when we go out club" etc... I kind of don't know what to believe because she didn't smile much when we were talking. I was a bit awkward to be fair and I noticed her contorting her face quite a bit. Maybe because I have a tendency especially with people I don't know to kind of look at them without blinking much... and we were face to face
TheTraveler Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I mean I did already ask her out... but she just hasn't replied yet. Obviously I don't know if she ever will. But you think I should msg her again? NO Next time you meet someone in a bar/club offer to meet for drinks, not coffee
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 NO Next time you meet someone in a bar/club offer to meet for drinks, not coffee Why not? I thought it was cool to go for coffee in the night time?
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 I'm a big believer that proximity trumps all else, so go for it. Hopefully she responds. Yea but where I'm from people don't fly from one state to another like in the US - where flying is a normal form of transit. Mid-income earners fly maybe twice a year. And the fact that she bothered to mention it kind of makes me vaguely feel like something is off...?
Popsicle Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 (edited) Yea but where I'm from people don't fly from one state to another like in the US - where flying is a normal form of transit. Mid-income earners fly maybe twice a year. And the fact that she bothered to mention it kind of makes me vaguely feel like something is off...? Well I always think something is off when a person has "friends" of the opposite sex, especially a BFF, but that's just me. I guess she thinks she's Jenny and he's Forest Gump, but even then, Forrest liked Jenny. I mean I did already ask her out... but she just hasn't replied yet. Obviously I don't know if she ever will. But you think I should msg her again? No! Popsicle Edited March 14, 2017 by Popsicle
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Well I always think something is off when a person has "friends" of the opposite sex, especially a BFF, but that's just me. I guess she thinks she's Jenny and he's Forest Gump, but even then, Forrest liked Jenny. No! Popsicle Yeah I totally agree with you there... someone once told me, guys and girls can never be just friends. The only reason I can think of is that she needs a male strength that's not sullied by complications of romance. Or maybe she friend zoned him. Anyways, I just got a message back from this girl. I feel like I've gone through an emotional rollercoaster this past few days. I don't know if that's a bad thing though. But I can't even bring myself to look at the message...
act00 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 The conversation and interaction seemed way too awkward. She stared a lot, but did not particularly engage in conversation (or smile or be particularly interested, flirty) when you made a move, when she seemed to clearly want to meet you. Then the touchy-feely with the guy who is "a friend." How long would that fly with you, if you were to actually start dating? I think your inner spidey senses are putting out warning signals. Something just isn't right. Pay attention to those. Me, I might give it a second chance, just to see, because the first interaction was just so off, and it could be just a bad set of circumstances. I can't speak for you, but just on what you posted, I'm thinking, don't be like me and drop it. I guess the fact that she didn't smile or seem very engaged is putting up red flags for me.
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 (edited) The conversation and interaction seemed way too awkward. She stared a lot, but did not particularly engage in conversation (or smile or be particularly interested, flirty) when you made a move, when she seemed to clearly want to meet you. Then the touchy-feely with the guy who is "a friend." How long would that fly with you, if you were to actually start dating? I think your inner spidey senses are putting out warning signals. Something just isn't right. Pay attention to those. Me, I might give it a second chance, just to see, because the first interaction was just so off, and it could be just a bad set of circumstances. I can't speak for you, but just on what you posted, I'm thinking, don't be like me and drop it. I guess the fact that she didn't smile or seem very engaged is putting up red flags for me. You're right it's hard to tell via my text here... However, the only signal I got (on that night) that she might very well be interested - was when I caught her looking my way a couple of times when she was back sitting with her friends. If she's genuine she also agrees with you on the circumstance thing. She was like "it was after all a spontaneous thing" when I kind of apologised for being a bit of a blabber. And I agree with you there too, about giving it a chance. I mean as long as I'm not throwing myself head over heels out there - what have I got to lose right? Thanks Edited March 14, 2017 by shizzle_84
CptInsano Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Actually I went back and reread this post..... now I'm absolutely sure. Staring is a seduction technique. It's used to hook men. They "target" men who are alone. And when she messaged you if you worked.... she was trying to see how much money she could get out of you. I would RUN. The seduction games are very powerful, and once started, it can be hard to pull away. Cut and run NOW. The interactions were awkward, the "friend" with his arm around her was odd, and ithe only thing she wants to know the next day was whether he worked, Yes, she was probably working, too.
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Man oh man.. I came here for clarification. And what I have now is a head-****... I'll just go on this date thing if it happens and then we'll talk some more... SHEEEEESH
preraph Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Don't get over eager on her. Wait for her to respond. She is interested, but she may be interested in five other guys just as much and since she's a proactive type, going up to men she might think are cute, she is probably a busy lady.
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Don't get over eager on her. Wait for her to respond. She is interested, but she may be interested in five other guys just as much and since she's a proactive type, going up to men she might think are cute, she is probably a busy lady. Thank you You and Popsicle sound like the only sensible one's here! SORRY GUYS, appreciate it but really a head **** is still a head **** .... 2
divegrl Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Yeah I totally agree with you there... someone once told me, guys and girls can never be just friends. The only reason I can think of is that she needs a male strength that's not sullied by complications of romance. Or maybe she friend zoned him. Anyways, I just got a message back from this girl. I feel like I've gone through an emotional rollercoaster this past few days. I don't know if that's a bad thing though. But I can't even bring myself to look at the message... What did the message say?
KBob Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 You and Popsicle sound like the only sensible one's here! Or they're the only two telling you what you want to hear... 1
Author shizzle_84 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 What did the message say? The message said "Yea sure :)"
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