FaithInTheDark Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I am writing this as a means to get support. Me and my ex split up 6 months ago. He was my first boyfriend and my first love. But things didn't work out for reasons what simply come down to compatibility issues. The break.up dragged on for months , mostly because I didn't know how to let go. He tried to be kind by answering my efforts to reach out and not shutting me out. By the end we would hang out as friends but I'd break down in tears because he said he didn't want to make it work. He said he wasn't over me but accepted it was over because he knew he couldn't make me happy like I needed him to. I made it clear for months I wanted to make it work because I loved him more than words could express but he's been sensible and knowing things wouldn't change. During this break up I've slipped into a deep depression and had to go on anti depressants, and counselling. It was getting to the point I felt there wasn't any reason to be Happy any more. FINALLY during the past 3 weeks I've been doing better and the medication was helping. I randomly decided to call my ex and told me was moving away the next day. (He had moved to my city to be with me) he said there was nothing left for him any longer so he was leaving. I was finally moving forward and then hit with this news and overwhelmed with deep sadness. I went over to his place yesterday to say goodbye, because I knew I probably would never see him again for many years. I broke down crying in his arms . Since we departed I've been feeling like 50 lbs sitting on my chest. I've burned the pictures of us together and a few other cards in attempt to move. I'm getting concerned now, it's been 6 months and I'm crippled by the loss of a man I'd give anything to be with. And.now he lives 12 hours away. Is there anything I can do the get out of this unbearable pain? I need to forget about this guy and I don't know to live my life. I know this man loved me but he's moving on and I'm still dying inside.
Purepony Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 This might not be what you want to hear but it's better now than later You will probably feel like this for a while and go thei the up and down motions about this but all I can promise you is that you will be okay in due time
Author FaithInTheDark Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Thank you. I know it will come in time.
Altair0770 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 It hasn't been 6 months if you've been contacting him the entire time. The best method for you is to go NC. Even if you want him to be in your life as a non-romantic partner, you need the time to heal. Don't be discouraged by the length of your healing process, because you contacting him it puts you back at day 0. Sorry this happened to you. You sound like a very sweet person that had a good relationship. I hope you recover soon and find someone that will always love you.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Yes. I know staying in constant contact was a bad idea but I couldn't stop. It's like an addiction. I never been in a break up before so maybe I didn't handle it that well.
marky00 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Its fairly normal. With me, the real BU happened 2 years ago but for first year, there was some low-contact ( a phone call every 2 months or so) Now I have been about 9 months NC and to be honest it definitely still hurts at times. This is despite the fact I have met someone else and am trying to have fun etc. My relationship was very long but, around 9 years and being long-distance, the relationship was as much about a deep friendship as opposed to just the standard intimacy you get in a 24/7 face-to-face relationship. I also have the history of maybe 20 or more flights to visiting her in her country. So maybe my situation isn't the norm but it most definitely sucks how slow the process is.
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