devilmaycry Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 (edited) Long story short i was with my ex girlfriend for a year and 3 months. I had mental issues that i refused to seek therapy on because of pride and i treated her badlly for a month. She broke up with me, told me never to contact her again, we're never getting back together etc and rebounded. 3 months after that she came back in tears and said she made a mistake, everything is pulling her towards me etc, we talked for a month but i was still hurt and i pressured her to tell me will we get back together and acted a bit needy and hurt by her rebounding etc, and she said no and we stopped talking, i went NC for a month i saw her posting sad songs etc so i reached out, she said it isn't for anyone and made her instagram private. In the meantime i made a new facebook and instagram and left all of it alone, just to notice that she blocked me for no reason, posted a very angry song right after (Dope - die, motherf**er die) but didn't block me on viber, or phone and when she blocked me she went back to an old ex (3 month relationship) that wasn't a bad guy, and they are already so in love, but she still posts angry songs obviously directed to me, i'm just ignoring everything (the block, songs) etc, not reacting in a way she would know. Thing is we are perfect for each other, and i went in therapy and really worked out my issues, apologized for everything and i love her very very much, she is my soulmate, so what do i do here guys ? Do i have a chance or is she just over me and that's it ? Is it possible that he is a rebound too? in the sense that it's familiar and comfortable and she didn't want to be alone, because they have almost nothing in common and she was well over that person when she was with me, i mean they were together 3 years ago for 3 months, and she was with me the longest out of anyone. (her longest relationship was 4 months) and with me it was a year and 3 months, so do you think she is doing this to spite me, get a reaction because she still has strong feelings? and what should i do ? Edited March 13, 2017 by devilmaycry
Telemachus Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 You treated her well, then badly. She broke up with you, and when you asked to get back together, she said "no." You aren't perfect for each other. You aren't soul mates. You've given way too much thought to the personal characteristics of the guy she's with now, and to the quality of their relationship. It seems that what you're looking for are assurances that you and she are meant for each other. That doesn't seem to be the case. You weren't ideal for her. Maybe the guy she is with now isn't either. That doesn't make you ideal for her. You aren't the only two men on Earth. You seem to be thinking mostly about what you want, not what's best for her. Put her interests first, not yours, and that may mean leaving her alone completely.
hunk Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 All that is relevant here is that she dumped you, she came back wanting a second chance and you blew it because you were too emotionally unstable and needy, and then blew it further by smothering her. She wanted you, you revealed weakness and you turned her off. Super, super simple. All you had to do was keep your cool and let her back in and go back to sleeping with her/dating her and consciously fix the issues about yourself that ruined the relationship while not bringing them up with her or dwelling on the past. It's too late for that now and this is all a mess. Remember this for next time. NC now and forever. She also rebounded instantly, which means she was bouncing on the pole of a new guy within weeks of dumping you, and then came crawling back to you. Is this what you want? Of course not. NC NC NC NC NC NC NC. NC. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 I think you need to accept that this is over. You were offered a second chance but you didn't take it. I doubt there will be a 3rd opportunity.
Author devilmaycry Posted March 13, 2017 Author Posted March 13, 2017 (edited) Actually i wasn't offered a second chance at all, she said she didn't want a relationship and made all sorts of excuses to which i replied that i can't wait forever and just be there until she finds someone else, as for me saying we're soulmates i know our relationship and i can say that we are both extremely compatible and happy together, and we compliment each other and push each other to be better. The only reason we broke up was that i snapped mentally due to alot of problems and stress and we argued alot because of it and she had enough of stress. Of course i want her to be happy, but i trully believe and know that i can make her happy, just for an example when she rebounded to try and move on she was misserable and when we started talking she was instantly feeling happier and better, but i was just not ready and made a mistake of not taking time to myself because of fear of loss. The reason i didn't get a second chance is because she didn't believe i could change and she started to think i'm just THAT person when in reality i just had issues i needed sorting out but i put off for to long due to pride. Also the "rebounding" thing, i find it disrespectfull to assume "she was bouncing on a pole" because not all women sleep around like that, and what she wishes to do with her body is her choice and i cannot blame or shame anyone on how they deal with their pain and breakup. I love her and that's all that matters to me, if she loves me time will tell me that, and no she wasn't sexual with anyone after the breakup. Edited March 13, 2017 by devilmaycry
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 I know you are heartbroken because the loss of a relationship is sad. But honestly, when I read your post I thought you dodged a bullet. All this rebounding made my head spin. This is what I gathered from your post: this girl has a poor track record. Except for you all her relationships were short term. This shows she had trouble making a commitment or just doesn't want to. Through college my longest relationship was about 6 months because I didn't want to be tied down. Second, she jumps from you to a rebound. OK, some people need to get under somebody else to get over someone. Like you said it's her body and I'm not judging but then here she is right back to you. Although she said she didn't want a relationship with you, what the heck was she doing even talking to you at that point? It just seems like she doesn't know what she wants. Now you says she's back to a different EX. Again . . . this smacks of uncertainly & the inability to make a decision on her part. If you are on a positive path in your life, having addressed what made you snap with her, you go forward. It will be the best thing for you. 1
Author devilmaycry Posted March 13, 2017 Author Posted March 13, 2017 I know you are heartbroken because the loss of a relationship is sad. But honestly, when I read your post I thought you dodged a bullet. All this rebounding made my head spin. This is what I gathered from your post: this girl has a poor track record. Except for you all her relationships were short term. This shows she had trouble making a commitment or just doesn't want to. Through college my longest relationship was about 6 months because I didn't want to be tied down. Second, she jumps from you to a rebound. OK, some people need to get under somebody else to get over someone. Like you said it's her body and I'm not judging but then here she is right back to you. Although she said she didn't want a relationship with you, what the heck was she doing even talking to you at that point? It just seems like she doesn't know what she wants. Now you says she's back to a different EX. Again . . . this smacks of uncertainly & the inability to make a decision on her part. If you are on a positive path in your life, having addressed what made you snap with her, you go forward. It will be the best thing for you. I am going forward, but i guess i'll always have a spot in my heart for her because honestly she made me want to be a better person, made me see the world a little brighter and i did the same for her, i agree on the fact that she probably doesn't know what she wants, i guess the best thing i can do is move forwards let her see how life without me looks like and if that's what she wants than i'll be happy knowing she is happy too.
AT15 Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 All that is relevant here is that she dumped you, she came back wanting a second chance and you blew it because you were too emotionally unstable and needy, and then blew it further by smothering her. She wanted you, you revealed weakness and you turned her off. Super, super simple. All you had to do was keep your cool and let her back in and go back to sleeping with her/dating her and consciously fix the issues about yourself that ruined the relationship while not bringing them up with her or dwelling on the past. It's too late for that now and this is all a mess. Remember this for next time. NC now and forever. She also rebounded instantly, which means she was bouncing on the pole of a new guy within weeks of dumping you, and then came crawling back to you. Is this what you want? Of course not. NC NC NC NC NC NC NC. NC. Hunk, you have a lot of emotional control
hunk Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 Hunk, you have a lot of emotional control I try to think of the advice I needed to receive years ago when I was hurting like this from breakups. Nothing worked for me except objective cold hard truths. Now I've been through so many (and am totally fine) i'm just using the same sort of advice, because it works:D:D:D 1
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