coolheadal Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Like I said she not ready for you at all. Now you know there was another man in the picture.. Too soon for you to get involved it you want. You would be her rebound friend, not boy friend type or just a backup... The games women play on us men. Just have to step-up your game. 1
Author Braytc Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 that is not he ideal recipe Let me reiterate the timeline here. Just some basic summary of this. Feb 1st - Feb 25th "you're my king" "You're so handsome" "you make me feel complete" Feb 28th Guy's facebook page says "in a relationship" with her holding her hand etc" While she's in hawaii, presumably with this guy, she messages me "i miss you so much, you can kiss me 10000 times when i get back" "i cant wait to see you" "you make me the luckiest girl ever" "im only perfect because i have you baby" Again she's texting me this probably right next to this guy LOL March 11th When she gets back. She is technically "with this guy" now and not me. "I missed you so much baby" "I tell my friends and my dad all about you" "Do you tell your parents about me?" "I didnt want to tell anyone yet that we have a thing" (Makes out with me 3 separate times in the car) March 12th-15th (today) Me: "Im very disappointed in what im seeing on this guy's facebook wall being with you" and a bunch of other stuff to let her know how stupid she is and that i found out about everything Her: "Yeah, im talking to him. You knew about this, i can talk to whoever i want. I'm not with anybody right now" "Like i said, we only just started talking. I don't see why you care. I haven't given him an answer yet because of you" "im still single. i didnt choose anybody yet. You won't marry me and start a family and this guy will, but i said i won't yet because i have you here" "We didnt have sex or anything, "i didnt show him to anyone yet, i have all of my things hidden and private. Nobody has seen me with any guy yet" "I havent even explained anything to you yet, ill call you later, god damn" So yeah, this whole time of her telling me "shes stressed about life" well, guess what, i found out you're juggling guys. And that's why you're stressed, because you thought you could pull one on a guy who's way too smart.
mightycpa Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Once, the morning after I slept with this really great girl, we went and had breakfast, and then we went to the grocery store. As we walked towards the store, we were holding hands and cooing. Upon reaching the sidewalk in front of the store, one of her friends exited and as soon as this girl saw her friend, she literally ejected my hand from hers, like my hand was the pilot in an F-35 that was hurtling towards the ground after being shot out of the sky. That kind of thing will f*ck with your ego, you know what I'm sayin? I figured what the hell. I wasn't all that invested and she was an animal in the sack. I played along and I didn't let it bother me. After all, I left a little souvenir inside her just a couple hours earlier. Clearly, she liked me. Three years later, I broke her heart. You never know how it might work out.
Author Braytc Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 Like I said she not ready for you at all. Now you know there was another man in the picture.. Too soon for you to get involved it you want. You would be her rebound friend, not boy friend type or just a backup... The games women play on us men. Just have to step-up your game. Let's just say my gut, and intuition were getting held back by my brain. That's about all i can really say here. Disgusting people actually waste their time like this. I don't even really have words how ****ing stupid this is LOL. it's actually just funny now and a relief, thank god i found out she's a player. Just add me to the list of dudes with trust issues. Thanks girls.
Author Braytc Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 (edited) Once, the morning after I slept with this really great girl, we went and had breakfast, and then we went to the grocery store. As we walked towards the store, we were holding hands and cooing. Upon reaching the sidewalk in front of the store, one of her friends exited and as soon as this girl saw her friend, she literally ejected my hand from hers, like my hand was the pilot in an F-35 that was hurtling towards the ground after being shot out of the sky. That kind of thing will f*ck with your ego, you know what I'm sayin? I figured what the hell. I wasn't all that invested and she was an animal in the sack. I played along and I didn't let it bother me. After all, I left a little souvenir inside her just a couple hours earlier. Clearly, she liked me. Three years later, I broke her heart. You never know how it might work out. That's actually a really good one lol! I definitely don't mind a bit. I'm the one that is raised like a normal human being, have a professional mind set, caring, and an overall decent person. Like my parents used to say, make sure they need you more than you need them. Set yourself up. I'm absolutely not hurt, like i said, the options are there. I'm the one about to have a Doctorate in Pharmacy, a career lined up, houses and multiple cars. And this other guy is a complete low life. Not to toot my own horn but just to respond to what you said, i don't mind one bit. Relieved i found out and put it to rest. Now it's just hilarious and a great story for the future. Live and learn, experience gained. And now i'm just that much better after learning what to do, what not to do, and how to handle everything. Just when i thought i would never in my life run into a girl like this, boom...i did. Edited March 16, 2017 by Braytc
anzhoulau Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 No but do you know what the kicker is? Her text message is this: "He said he would marry me and have a family and you won't. He asked me to marry him and i said no... because of you" So 1. this girl thinks ill marry her and have a family 1 month in. Then this: This guy's facebook says "in a relationship" with a picture of them together in Hawaii Feb. 27th. Now she is texting me this. These texts messages are hilarious and psychotic. "I'm still single, i didnt tell anybody about him or have anything with anybody yet. You knew i was still seeing other people. Nothing was official yet between us" So while she was "in a relationship" with this guy back in Feb 27th, i brought her home from the airport. Made out with her. Talked to her all the way home about telling eachother to our parents, being together, and all of this stuff. So let's even take the spotlight off of me. I feel bad for this guy that she's "with" but is telling people she "isnt with" and is still "single" and is still making out with me and telling me that she's with me. On the way back from the airport she said "we are a thing" Yet this entire time i dont know about this guy. LOL I'm relieved honestly and very happy i found out, just another girl using people. Remember what i've been saying this whole time? Her text messages just felt like she was disconnected with me, yet wasn't completely letting go of me. And that's exactly what this was. A game, as people said it wasnt, because guess what, even when i blew her secret, she STILL is insisting we talk and be together LMFAO I have to say, Congrats OP! you are relieved, this girl is nothing but a player.
Author Braytc Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 I have to say, Congrats OP! you are relieved, this girl is nothing but a player. Appreciate your help. I enjoy talking with you guys more and more. I may not have perfectly handled the situation but it looks like me "begging for answers" was just my gut and intuition telling me that there is something up and i really didn't "ruin" anything necessarily lol since this all happened after the fact. You guys gave me lots of great tips and advice that i will put in my back pocket for my next encounters and make this whole process a lot less stressful on me. I just knew this was too good to be true, and will take this experience and just be better next time. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Dam, op. That's dirty. This kinda stuff is why I have trouble trusting people with my heart. But also you learned from it, so there is a silver lining. I truly don't think they'll last JMO but she's that guy's problem now. They can get married lol
Author Braytc Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 (edited) Dam, op. That's dirty. This kinda stuff is why I have trouble trusting people with my heart. But also you learned from it, so there is a silver lining. I truly don't think they'll last JMO but she's that guy's problem now. They can get married lol You should see this text in my phone from a while back. I told her im going to the casino with my dad. "you're cheating on me. whatever have fun. make sure to wear protection" .... so im cheating on you yet this whole time we aren't really together? That's another reason why i felt like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I can't go out by myself because im accused of cheating? Cant cheating only happen if you're in a relationship? Yupp. add me to the list. Me and my friends are laughing so hard, not to be mean but this will most likely be one of those really sad cases of two people that aren't even close to stable trying to raise a family , where the dad leaves and the kids have to be brought up by a single mom. Not being rude to anyone, but that is literally the situation i feel that is about to happen. She's 21 years old trying to start a family and get married. really really sad. And again the funny part, is she still is thinking that i am a choice to her and that im still here. She STILL is into me yet is "with" this guy on social media. when she claims she's not. She's telling me "dont worry, im still single and here for you" basically. Even after this LOL Edited March 16, 2017 by Braytc 1
GemmaUK Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Hopefully this has all been a good learning curve for you to slow the heck down next time you date. I felt smothered just reading it! 3
Author Braytc Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 Hopefully this has all been a good learning curve for you to slow the heck down next time you date. I felt smothered just reading it! Have you even read anything? i started "smothering" her march 12th. She's been jumping between me and another guy since February 1st i just found out. Read please first. i will definitely not smother any girls from here on out, but in this case that didnt even matter. she had plans to play 2 guys the entire time.
GemmaUK Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Have you even read anything? i started "smothering" her march 12th. She's been jumping between me and another guy since February 1st i just found out. Read please first. i will definitely not smother any girls from here on out, but in this case that didnt even matter. she had plans to play 2 guys the entire time. Absolutely yes, I read start to end. I am hoping you have learned something from it which you can now take forward. You should have learned not to invest so fast - one month - even a couple of months is very fast for you to be thinking things are 'set in stone'. Also learn to let things flow rather than be pushy. If you are pushing someone they will run whether or not they are dating others - and it does sound like you knew she was seeing others - you hadn't had a conversation about exclusivity, you weren't yet having sex and she said you knew that she was talking to this guy. If you did know she was talking to others then all her proclamations should have been taken with a fair old pinch of salt just now - instead you took them all very seriously. 4
Miss Spider Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Yeah..I laughed but I hope to goodness they are not serious about the marriage thing. What a mess. You dodged a bullet. I don't know if a month is too fast for official and FB wall posts and public declarations if both people are on the same page and one is not a two timing, flaky piece of workShes talking all this "not ready" but way you all interacted was not indicative of a "go slow" situation, so it was clear she was playing some game. The 'pushiness' you had was brought out of you. Sure, next time don't press, don't be needy and move on when you see this shadiness, but I understand why you wanted a straight answer. And she would have been more than happy to give it to you if she wasn't being manipulative. The thing is people who play people like these often resort to manipulation/gaslighting. They pull you close, then push you away, and when you ask to know what the hell is going on they accuse you of behaving completely crazy, clingy. irrational. All the while they're the ones going crazy trying to balance their game... Of course she wants to keep you on the hook as a fall back guy..she can dream on.. 2
goldway90 Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 A mess for a 1 month relationship! Seriously come on! OP why are you looking through her Facebook? delete and move on. 4
Author Braytc Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 A mess for a 1 month relationship! Seriously come on! OP why are you looking through her Facebook? delete and move on. I'm doing it for purely comic relief at this point. I still can't process through my mind someone out here actually exists. This is literally what you hear about in court rooms and on TV about guys being bad and leaving these girls with kids. She LITERALLY, genuinely believes this guy is going to move from Hawaii to PA, get married, and start a family. I never even added her to facebook, because she never would bring up adding eachother on facebook, for good reason it looks like. I'm just sitting here with some friends laughing hysterically waiting for **** to fly. XD
Author Braytc Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 (edited) Yeah..I laughed but I hope to goodness they are not serious about the marriage thing. What a mess. You dodged a bullet. I don't know if a month is too fast for official and FB wall posts and public declarations if both people are on the same page and one is not a two timing, flaky piece of workShes talking all this "not ready" but way you all interacted was not indicative of a "go slow" situation, so it was clear she was playing some game. The 'pushiness' you had was brought out of you. Sure, next time don't press, don't be needy and move on when you see this shadiness, but I understand why you wanted a straight answer. And she would have been more than happy to give it to you if she wasn't being manipulative. The thing is people who play people like these often resort to manipulation/gaslighting. They pull you close, then push you away, and when you ask to know what the hell is going on they accuse you of behaving completely crazy, clingy. irrational. All the while they're the ones going crazy trying to balance their game... Of course she wants to keep you on the hook as a fall back guy..she can dream on.. Again, not going off on a trip here on myself, but i am way too smart and educated to sit there and believe this person is being truthful this whole time. Which is why when she got back, i called her out on it. I'm seeing she's just another piece of trash, literally, that will just get with anyone and will screw up her life forever. Now that i think of it, i was actually extremely stupid for getting any feelings for this girl. Once again, love this thread so much, talking to my friends in person, and gaining experience for the next time around, because i know there is someone light years worth a **** more than this game player out there for me. Trust me. I'm never off as "pushy" or "Forceful" with my past girls. If anything, maybe i backed off too much from the girls in my past. This one i just seemed "needy" in conversation because i just wanted all of the bs to stop and come to an end. I just can't help but watch this mess unfold, and laugh about it for a very, very long time. My friends are reading these text messages and then her FB page and literally rolling on the floor dying in tears. This is textbook nut case. Chemistry means WAY more than anatomy. Can't get tricked by the super good looking ones. Edited March 17, 2017 by Braytc
Author Braytc Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 (edited) Absolutely yes, I read start to end. I am hoping you have learned something from it which you can now take forward. You should have learned not to invest so fast - one month - even a couple of months is very fast for you to be thinking things are 'set in stone'. Also learn to let things flow rather than be pushy. If you are pushing someone they will run whether or not they are dating others - and it does sound like you knew she was seeing others - you hadn't had a conversation about exclusivity, you weren't yet having sex and she said you knew that she was talking to this guy. If you did know she was talking to others then all her proclamations should have been taken with a fair old pinch of salt just now - instead you took them all very seriously. Ummm, i just can't believe you said you read it from start to finish lol. Because if i knew she is this close with this other guy, i would've canned this girl WAYYY long ago. No, i absolutely did not "know she is seeing" other guys. Once again, an excuse to cover up for herself that she is in the "okay" and im wrong for assuming shes with me... Especially when she is telling me i cant go out by myself because im F'ing other girls behind her back. Sounds like a relationship to me does it not? So no, i was not "the only one that seemed into this." As i've been saying for the past 6 pages, she showed just as much as me how much she was into me. Begging me to marry her at on point and i said "there's no possible way i can marry someone a month into knowing them. Wait for later on okay?" 2 dates into this she literally told me to marry her. I thought she was kidding honestly and just being cute or something. She was ACTUALLY serious and i cant believe it. Like i said, im NEVER like this. Usually the exact opposite. This was done and over with way before i started the "needy/forceful" as you say, text messages. This dude was saying he's in a relationship with her WEEKS before i started "pushing" her away. So no, this had absolutely nothing to do with me messing anything up. But i will absolutely make sure that in the future i am not too pushy, because no that isn't good. I will definitely keep a close note of that and will help me again one day. Edited March 17, 2017 by Braytc
Author Braytc Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 And then she continued to play dumb and make excuses. Hoping not to completely disconnect and lose me. "You didnt even let me explain myself, i'll call you later" LOL She actually thinks im going to go into her sideline incase marriage with someone else doesnt work out? Disgusting
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 Hi everyone, Lately I've been dating a girl for about a month now. She's told me multiple times what I mean to her, and I've told her what she means to me. We both are really into eachother physically and she's a little shy but pretty much on the emotional connection side. I'm just a little confused , as to we are moving out of the dating phase and into an actual relationship. Telling our parents about one another, she came to my house to spend the night once but none of my parents were home, and kind of texting on a daily basis. To the ladies mostly out there, I just found it really strange, or maybe im over thinking it, that when i commented on one of her instagram photos with some love emojis, she removed it. I texted her asking her why, and she said this: **"I'm not ready to make it public between us yet" **i said something like "i cant compliment you? I want us to be proud of eachother ya know" **She said "Yeah, but i dont want it to be out yet and dont want people to think you're thirsty" Is this something girls usually do? They don't really want the public knowing about our relationship starting up? Of course every girl is different and she is a little different from others, but it's just kinda been eating away at me. She mentioned in the car she told her family about me that she's seeing but is a little too early yet for me to be meeting anyone because she feels until everything is completely permanent she wants to make sure the relationship will stay before she starts letting people REALLY know about us. It's just felt weird to me lately. Thanks for your help tl;dr Girl I dated for not too long, me and her pretty much are calling eachother girlfriend/boyfriend and moving into a relationship, but she isn't completely letting her family/public see me and her together yet. She also has been getting really quiet in texting eachother for some reason. She calls me her baby, yet has been barely texting me with her initiating the text or giving some one word answers to things that arent sometimes. Maybe i'm just being paranoid or worked up for no reason. Let me know what you think is going on. Thanks! She could just be the protected and guarded type of girl. I was like that with my last relationship. Not saying it's good but just to give an understanding of where She is coming from. She may want the relationship to progress in stages instead of moving too fast. First y'all are exclusive, then as time go on you meet parents, etc. meeting parents is a big deal and maybe she sees that step as more of a engagement type of step. all you can do is respect her boundaries and accept it or leave her alone. How do you feel about this? Are you okay with taking it slow? If so then take it slow and see how it goes. Now if time has gone on and she still acting unnecessarily funny about you then cut her loose. If your not okay with how she is acting (cause I'm not sure how long y'all have been together at this point) but if y'all are suppose to be exclusive and she is still being super secretive you may need to go ahead and cut her loose. Like right now if y'all are exclusive I can understand waiting to see parents. But if she not calling you her boyfriend in public ask her why? Is she a celebrity or secret agent lol? If not that's kind of unacceptable if I were you. Just be upfront about what you have a problem with an go from there.
Author Braytc Posted March 18, 2017 Author Posted March 18, 2017 (edited) She could just be the protected and guarded type of girl. I was like that with my last relationship. Not saying it's good but just to give an understanding of where She is coming from. She may want the relationship to progress in stages instead of moving too fast. First y'all are exclusive, then as time go on you meet parents, etc. meeting parents is a big deal and maybe she sees that step as more of a engagement type of step. all you can do is respect her boundaries and accept it or leave her alone. How do you feel about this? Are you okay with taking it slow? If so then take it slow and see how it goes. Now if time has gone on and she still acting unnecessarily funny about you then cut her loose. If your not okay with how she is acting (cause I'm not sure how long y'all have been together at this point) but if y'all are suppose to be exclusive and she is still being super secretive you may need to go ahead and cut her loose. Like right now if y'all are exclusive I can understand waiting to see parents. But if she not calling you her boyfriend in public ask her why? Is she a celebrity or secret agent lol? If not that's kind of unacceptable if I were you. Just be upfront about what you have a problem with an go from there. Appreciate the response. Did you read my lasts posts on the last page or 2? This has been a complete waste of time this entire time. I found out she's literally jugging me and a guy that lives across the entire united states in her hometown in Hawaii. So while she is not visiting him in Hawaii, she has me here 10 mins from her. Disgusting how this whole thing is. [] Edited March 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~6
Miss Spider Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 Guarded type lol...when a girl is into a guy and wants to be his gf she can't change that FB status soon enough 1
Author Braytc Posted March 18, 2017 Author Posted March 18, 2017 (edited) Guarded type lol...when a girl is into a guy and wants to be his gf she can't change that FB status soon enough Exactly. Thats why i wasn't allowed to say a word to her on IG or on FB, because she can't let that other guy find out about me. Makes perfect sense now. I wasn't even about to tell her that i found out. I wanted to actually keep my mouth shut as soon as i found out about this other guy. Just to see to what extent she would go to try and keep me and this other guy as far apart as possible so we dont see eachother. And how long she would tell me "she loves me" without actually going out and seeing me. LOL Everyone is different, everyone im sure feels different than others. But there have been girls in my past that i am sure fire about, 100%, and would not hesitate to show her off to social media. If you're 100% honest, and into someone, it wouldn't take that long to start letting the word out. At least from my past experiences. Then the girls that i wouldn't be crazy about i would hold off as long as i could. But in this case, she just wanted to see how long she could keep me "at bay" while her life develops and i sit there waiting. If i never found out by her being stupid and putting a picture of them up on her featured photos that everybody in public can see, i would've never known, and still would've been sitting here going "Wtf is going on?" Just wanted me to hang out on a limb "just in case" something were to happen with the other guy OR she just would end up liking me more and get me to marry her or something. Either way, that's why she would be so short with me on text messages and always be super timid about seeing me in person. She didn't want her emotions to get the best of her. She wanted to love me, but she already made prior commitment to this guy. So this guy she had change his facebook status with her to "in a relationship" could've potentially just been in my shoes and pushed off to the side if i would marry her...essentially is what im getting out of this. Still, till this day, which continued messaging me today (this is just purely out of curiosity and fun at this point) , she says "i knew about this other guy" and that "she didnt have her mind made up and didn't want her friends and family to see who she is with" Yet plastered over her facebook wall is being "Taken" with this other guy. She STILL till this day tries to cover up a blatant lie that has been surfaced...and still trying to defend herself like shes pissed at me and that im the bad guy here. LOL Edited March 18, 2017 by Braytc
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 Ummm, i just can't believe you said you read it from start to finish lol. I've no idea why you don't believe me - do you have trust issues generally? I read anyone's thread all the way through even if only just the OP's posts out of respect for that poster. I notice you often suggest people haven't read your posts from previous threads. As i've been saying for the past 6 pages, she showed just as much as me how much she was into me. This doesn't really add up, not with your comment from page 1 here: She doesn't go out with me a whole lot, she doesn't even text me a whole lot. But anyway, why bother focusing on this girl so much still now? Don't give her the time of day. Block her everywhere and just move on. It was only a month and just a very few dates, really not worth spending so much time trying to analyse it. If you invest less (than you did) at this initial stage of dating you'd be a lot better off. No matter what someone says things are not 'set in stone' a month and a handful of dates down the line. 2
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 (edited) Appreciate the response. Did you read my lasts posts on the last page or 2? This has been a complete waste of time this entire time. I found out she's literally jugging me and a guy that lives across the entire united states in her hometown in Hawaii. So while she is not visiting him in Hawaii, she has me here 10 mins from her. Disgusting how this whole thing is. [] sorry to hear that but I am happy that you know now rather than later for our time is very precious and shouldn't be wasted on someone who doesn't care Edited March 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~6
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