My family member's boyfriend is hitting on me.

[SomethingCreative]

I've had to create a new account just in case my family member sees this. I'm in a bit of a predicament.

 

This family member, who we will call Claire, has a boyfriend of about 3 years. About a year ago she had a child with him. I met him only recently.

 

About 2 months ago, he began sending me FB messages asking me to hang out with him. I told him that I felt like it was inappropriate to hang out without Claire around. He claimed that he was only being 'friendly' and we are basically family. So I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and I brushed it off.

 

A couple of weeks later he began texting me, saying things like "I really miss your hugs" and "I can't wait to smell you". I, again, told him that I won't see him unless Claire is around. Since then, he has continued to text me, but I haven't replied.

 

I know what most of you are thinking (at least I think I do): TELL HER! But it's not that simple. This situation is complicated because Claire has a tendency to act irrationally. She is an adult with a young adult's mindset. I'm afraid if I show her the messages and texts she will be angry with me (for some reason).

 

On the other hand, I'm having a really hard time living with this secret. I don't feel right about it. I feel like Claire deserves to know what he has been texting me.

 

I've discussed this with one other person, who is telling me to wait to tell Claire about it until her and her boyfriend have broken up. I don't feel right about doing that. I feel like she would be more angry with me for withholding this information than if I were to tell her now.

 

Sorry this is so long. There is a lot that I've left out (for obvious reasons pertaining to my desire to be anonymous), so I hope that I've given enough information.

 

What do you think I should do?

[normal person]

 

I know what most of you are thinking (at least I think I do): TELL HER! But it's not that simple. This situation is complicated because Claire has a tendency to act irrationally. She is an adult with a young adult's mindset. I'm afraid if I show her the messages and texts she will be angry with me (for some reason).

 

If she gets mad at you for doing the right thing and trying to help her, that's her problem, not yours.

 

On the other hand, I'm having a really hard time living with this secret. I don't feel right about it. I feel like Claire deserves to know what he has been texting me.

 

I would clear my conscious and tell her rather than live with it. As I said, if she wants to get mad at you for telling her something you think she'd want to know, that's her problem. At least you'll be able to sleep at night. It's not your fault Claire can't tell you have her best interests in mind. Maybe one day she'll come to her senses and realize what a good friend/sister/relative you are.