fooloflove Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 My boyfriend and i i'm together for like 2 months now, we are really open to each other and honest. Sometimes when he is with me, he would let me scroll through his facebook acc, and he has nth to hide, i have his phone password and all, but till one day i asked if he could give me his password but he refused. He said it's a concern of privacy, and he don't want me to have an "FBI investigation" for the messages that are like 2 years back and create an argument out of it. < Because it did happen. I personally trust him, but im a little upset that he couldnt share his password as for me it would not be a problem sharing. Why does he need privacy if we are honest to each other and open?
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Privacy isn't only about trust. It's about keeping things to yourself. I have been married for almost 10 years & we share passwords to very little. At 2 months if somebody I was dating asked me for a password to anything I would break up with that person because I would conclude they have no sense of boundaries. Do you expect a key to their house at that point? Do you snoop in people's medicine cabinets when invited over? Where do you draw the line? Yikes. Just because you love somebody doesn't mean you give up all independence. Oversharing is a problem not an indication of trust or compatibility. 5
todreaminblue Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 i dont care if my boyfriend wants my password.....but if he didnt want me to give me his i would respect his privacy and would not expect him to want my password either...i feel two people have to be comfortable with the level of sharing not just one who is comfortable..both have to be comfortable.... and you always ...repeat always go for the more conservative partners hard boundary,....in anything really including sex...it is a thing about over stepping marks and you need to respect boundaries....because every one has a line in the sand...respect the line and love him regardless of where that line is...some men wouldnt even let your scroll through...he does..deb 1
Erik30 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Sorry, I have to agree with your boyfriend. I wouldn't share my password with anyone. Even if I would, 2 months is way too early. Someone could still turn out to be "crazy" this early on 5
BaileyB Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 You've only been dating two months, you don't have the right to know his passwords. That is more than a little presumptuous. Although his explaination was very strange...
Author fooloflove Posted March 12, 2017 Author Posted March 12, 2017 You've only been dating two months, you don't have the right to know his passwords. That is more than a little presumptuous. Although his explaination was very strange... Yea, but we did had a small argument over something that happened way back, he even said like it's not about his own privacy but if he were to share, i could invade his friend's/the person that he is chatting through online as well.
Whodatdog Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I dont share passwords with anybody. You can never know what will happen with relationships in the future. Once you share a password, you open yourself up to losing all privacy. Whos to say the person you share your password with wont share it with someone else? Nope. Never. 2
smackie9 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 My husband and I don't share phones, PW or computers, not even bank accounts or credit cards and we have been together for over 27 years. If you feel you need to "check in" to make sure everything is OK, you have insecurity issues and not mature enough to be in a committed relationship. I'm on your BF's side on this one for sure. 2
smackie9 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 it could invade his friend's/the person that he is chatting through online as well. He is right! the people he is chatting with have the expectation that their conversation is just between them, and not the prying eyes of a third party which the info could be later shared with others. 3
Fruitee Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I would never share my pw with anyone nor let anyone read my messages. Its not just about me but the other person as well. It would be violation towards them. If it was possible for him to only read my side np. E.g. if he wants to ruin his day and read my journal, go ahead. It is basically same stuff what we discuss anyway. Anyway we are all entitled to our private thoughts. Not everything needs or has to be shared. 4
act00 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Yes. It it is normal to not share passwords. Especially not after two months. In a LTR, lots of couples share passwords, but if trust is there, it really isn't necessary. In my experience, if passwords are required, it's because the spouse/significant other has exhibited behavior that is untrustworthy. TBH, if my "date" (2 months) was that paranoid that I was up to no good, I would question continuing on with this relationship. There is NO reason for a person you barely know to have access to your personal information and passwords and if anyone, after 2 months, was requiring this, I would be running for the hills. This screams fraud, but also jealousy, paranoia, and control to a point that I would not even want to pursue this relationship further It's not normal to share passwords in the beginning stage of dating. You should question WHY you feel that you have a RIGHT to dig into his FB, phone, or personal accounts when you've been seeing this guy for all of 8 weeks. If you are open and honest, as you say, then you have nothing to worry about. He probably realized how stupid it was to allow someone he really doesn't know all that well, access to his personal information and he put a stop to it. I realize backtracking feels like he has something to hide, but we're talking 8 weeks of dating. It's just not a smart move to allow someone that kind of access.
goldway90 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I don't share passwords ever.If a girl asked me to do that after 2 months i'd probably rethink the whole relationship. 2
GemmaUK Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Yes, it's very normal not to share passwords. When guys have asked for mine it's just clear they don't trust me - and it's been down to their own insecurities. Most people don't even ask and would never think to ask this. 2
WaitingForBardot Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Hard to say whether it's the norm, but my wife of 30+ years and I do not share our passwords. The exception has been when I needed her password to work on her computer. I do have all of my passwords written down in a secure location though, just in case I should die. That's a safety fallback since I'm the one that does all of our online financial stuff and it would be majorly inconvenient if she were locked out after my death. As far as I know she's never bothered to look at the list as there has been no need. 2
OnlyHonesty Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 After only 2-months? No way. After 10 years.... No way.
basil67 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 None of our home computers are locked and we could scroll through each other's FB or emails if we wanted. But we wouldn't do that. We do use each other's devices now and then but we trust each other to not spy. My cell phone is always unlocked. But if I found a partner taking advantage of that and looking at my stuff, I'd lock the phone without a second thought. I agree that your request is out of line.
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