Couple photo as lock screen

[blurbank]

Mature love is said easier than done. I always know that regardless if you put your couple photo as lock screen/ display picture for whatsapp/ wallpaper, it doesn’t represent the love that you received from your partner…..

 

But to me, i can’t help it…. Least my boyfriend can do is to put our couple photo as lock screen… it will make me feel save and secure and happy too. It can help to ward off girls (and i know it may or may not work, cause it still depends on your boyfriend). I always thought putting our couple photo on the lock screen would be a sweet thing to do as a girlfriend or boyfriend… but i guess my boyfriend don’t feel this way… I know that everyone have the right to put whatever they want as their wallpaper…. Probably i have to open up myself and not to think so much into it…. I also can’t help to feel jealous to see other’s phone with their sweet marriage/couple photo….. Even though i know love isn’t something that "cheap" right? I just feel it is just a small sweet gesture that’s all…. It can make me happy and secure every time i see my boyfriend’s phone... I just feel sad and angry… Angry for caring so much about such a small stuff since my boyfriend doesn’t. I feel sad because my boyfriend don’t feel the same way as i do about putting couple picture as lock screen…

What should i do? Is it wrong to feel upset over this matter? I don't request him to put pampered me with gifts and all... i just want our photo as lock screen photo, and put it on my whatsapp too... Is it compatibility issue?

[DarrenB]

Hi,

 

I wouldn't necessarily say it's a 'compatibility issue' as such, because it involves something incredibly minor in my opinion.

 

My ex used to question me as to why I never set a picture of us as my phone/device lock screens. To be honest, I never did until say 8 months into the relationship but mainly for the reason that we didn't take many photo's together during that period. I won't divulge any more.

 

I think overall, it's a nice gesture to do but if he's not really the type of person to involve himself with technology much or social apps/networking then he's probably not entirely keen on doing it for that reason, nothing personal or anything in relation to your relationship and connection with him.

 

I won't say it's the wrong thing to be particularly upset about, but perhaps just give it some time. He may perhaps choose to amend some things in time.

 

Lastly, please don't ever question your relationship or the compatibility because of something like this. It will do you no favors, and it will only increase insecurities and doubt along with future provocations. Everything's fine.

[MrDuck]

Its defo a compatibility thing. Wether its an issue or not depends how strongly you feel, which apparently is very.

 

I could tell you that i dont get why its important to you, but who am i to say that. If it genuinely, deep down in your heart matters to you, then it matters to you!

 

I have my son as my wallpaper, and my gf has the dog Doesn't mean I'm not madly in love with her, I've never thought about it more than its a really nice photo and the colours contrast well with the little apple apps.

 

Do you feel the same about all social media and stuff? I'm not in my gf's facebook profile pic, she is in mine but only as of this last week, the week before was me with my parrot on my head. It's really not a big deal

 

Anyway, bottom line is, if you bring it up then yeah he might potentially think its odd, or obsessive. If im honest and someone brought it up to me then i would think those things. But if it bothers you THAT much, what choice do you have? You either learn to be chill with it or raise it as an issue.

[d0nnivain]

It would never in a million years cross my mind to even think about what photo my husband uses as a screen lock. My screen photos are always serene pictures of water & nature. Especially at work I find them calming. I have never used a person picture as a screen lock on any device.

 

 

Pick your battles. This doesn't seem like a big enough issue to blow up a relationship over.

 

 

If you are so insecure that you need this photo to feel safe & loved, at least acknowledge that it's YOUR problem.

[Art_Critic]

I just went and looked at my wife of almost 10 years FB page...

I can't find a single picture she has ever posted of me on there.. hahahaha

 

What he has on his lock screen means nothing unless it is an Ex..

If you can't let this drop then you need to look at why you need that emotional boost from something so innocuous.

[todreaminblue]

yeah never had a person as a lock screen i like natural pictures and ocean shots....last thing i want to see is a picture of me .....i avoid mirrors i would avoid my phone....

 

i do want to share this with you if you think a picture of you as a couple will prevent other women from trying you are wrong ..if anything, for certain women,this is a challenge they accept and go for it in the spirit of having what they deem unavailable like wedding rings.....it is not a deterant....it is not a fix.....it is why men who are often looked seemingly as unattractive as dating partners or life partners....when they are single.... become attractive when with someone....both my exes cheated......both of them had not been with women for years not from lack of trying.....the interested women started to show up when i began dating them a few women who i thought of as friends...decided to test drive.....needless to say ....they werent my friends anymore...i have also found guys go hard at it when they know i am taken...so what i do is talk about my guy all the time till the yget bored..i dont need a photo....of example a guy says to me yeah i can dead lift 100 kg......i say that so cool...my guy took me out last weekend and we had sushi....it was the best sushi i ever had.....you shoudl see the way he drives ...he drives a stick like you wouldnt believe.....you should meet him every one likes him you would too.....did i tell you he took me for sushi and i do this cyclical conversation thing.where everything they say relates in no way to something random about my guy that confuses them .............after they walk away in a huff...it makes me giggle....and ill send a text to my guy ...saying i hope you are having a great day......was just thinking of you .....see you soon...that is why i dont need a photo on a lock screen my guy is always in my head......snapshot that never fades or changes or gets lost....

 

pictures rings anything objective will not stop a man from cheating or a woman......for that matter.... and as far as objectives go...the objective would be to keep quiet and special your union and relationship status..... till you feel its strong enough to face what temptation and challenges are out there....if you feel jealous of others and their photos and you feel that a photo would ever make a difference to the wrong kind of woman out there...you're sorely mistaken and your relationship is not strong enough yet...give it time get to know him feel comfortable with what you have not what you dont have ...like a couple shot on a lock screen....celebrate what you have and hold tight to it...keep it special and fresh....good luck...deb

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have a picture of my cat on my lock screen. I haven't changed it in over 4 years. I am also in love with my cat

[Haydn]

I have a picture of the kids on mine, superimposed on a rather dashing Morrissey pic.

 

Sadly they like `One Direction etc...`

 

But i have hope!

[spiderowl]

It sounds like you see this as a commitment and, as you say, to fend off other women. I guess you are feeling insecure in the relationship. It is a newish thing - something previous generations would not have had to consider - but is it necessary to splash your commitment all over the place to feel secure? Why do you have such doubts about your partner? Personally, I would not want a partner to do this as it would seem a bit over the top, but everyone is different.

[duncsvoice]

I've got my favourite picture of my Missus as my lock screen...

 

She has a character from Adventure Time on hers

 

Means absolutely nothing...although to be honest, I wouldn't wanna see my face every time I looked my phone either...

[Jj66]

At one time I had a couple photo for my home screen but not my lock screen. My lock screen has always been the default. When I changed the home screen image to something else my girlfriend noticed it and mentioned it. Then it was all quickly forgotten. My whatsapp background is an image of a painting I did of her.

 

It's really not a big deal to anyone I know.

 

Facebook, on the other hand, is a source of unending problems for many. Wow. I had one person get pissed at me for not "approving" her pictures of us for my time line. I broke up with her over it. What I put on my time line is my choice. I had another person get upset because I changed the privacy of a picture of her to custom. (excluded my family). I didn't break up with her over it but I'm sure it kept bothering her that I wasn't ready for my family to virtually meet her. It didn't last very long. She was just too insecure.

[GunslingerRoland]

You can get upset over what ever you want to get upset over. But making a big deal over inconsequential things like this, to me says you are close to having one foot out the door on this relationship over any minor thing.

 

He should probably be the one worried about security in the relationship.

[Gaeta]

You must be really sad in this relationship that you are hoping your boyfriend will throw crumbs at you like putting couple's photo on his screen lock. I get so much love from my BF that I don't care what he has on his lock screen.

 

I have noticed that when women (and men) pick at little things in their relationship it's because the big things aren't there but they don't have the courage to face it. So instead of talking about the lack of love, lack of respect, lack of commitment in their relationship they talk about lock screen, missing likes on FB, and the number of texts that's never enough.

[Shining One]

If a woman brought this up to me, I would be seriously rethinking our relationship. Sure, it's not a huge request, but the mindset behind it would be troubling to me.

missing likes on FB

I was once chastised for not being the first like.

[Eternal Sunshine]

At one time I had a couple photo for my home screen but not my lock screen. My lock screen has always been the default. When I changed the home screen image to something else my girlfriend noticed it and mentioned it. Then it was all quickly forgotten. My whatsapp background is an image of a painting I did of her.

 

It's really not a big deal to anyone I know.

 

Facebook, on the other hand, is a source of unending problems for many. Wow. I had one person get pissed at me for not "approving" her pictures of us for my time line. I broke up with her over it. What I put on my time line is my choice. I had another person get upset because I changed the privacy of a picture of her to custom. (excluded my family). I didn't break up with her over it but I'm sure it kept bothering her that I wasn't ready for my family to virtually meet her. It didn't last very long. She was just too insecure.

 

This would bug me and make me think you had other girlfriends. If you are in serious relationship with someone, why wouldn't you approve their pictures...

[Els]

Uh... how old are you, OP? I've been in a "safe, secure, and happy" R for a long time, and I have never once put up a picture of me and my SO as a screen lock wallpaper... heck, I don't know many other people above the age of 20 who do either!

 

You are entitled to want whatever you want, but "feeling angry whenever you look at his phone" due to lack of said picture is a huge overreaction and screams of immaturity.

[lana-banana]

Okay, yes, this is obviously shallow and immature, but ridiculing the OP won't help. I wonder how many much younger (20 and under) folks put a lot of stock in things like this. Those of us in our late 20s, early 30s and above are just old enough to have lived most of our lives without social media and using devices or programs to express our affection. It might be different than for younger people. Their entire lives have been more or less dominated by these relatively meaningless gestures of likes, hearts, etc, and they have always put a great deal of stock in putting their whole lives online. As much as I think we are way overdue for a conversation about how this affects growth and development, you can't deny it already happens. I am not going to tell a kid who never knew life without a phone that she is dumb for finding it critically important.

 

OP: it's a personal decision that you can't make for him. As you acknowledge, it doesn't keep girls away and doesn't make your relationship any more solid. Focus on how he treats you. Do you guys connect well? Do you understand each other? Do you share priorities, goals, and dreams?

 

My fiancé has a really cute picture of us as his background/lock screen. But that wasn't until we had been together for over a year, and he's super sentimental.

[Shining One]

If you are in serious relationship with someone, why wouldn't you approve their pictures...

Some people have "difficult" families they don't necessarily want to share details of their dating life with. I've been with women whose parents would have disowned them if I had posted pictures of us together on her wall.

[Jj66]

This would bug me and make me think you had other girlfriends. If you are in serious relationship with someone, why wouldn't you approve their pictures...

 

Because she wasn't my girlfriend. We had just recently met and were in no way serious. My children are on Facebook and there is no way I want their first meeting of someone to be through Facebook.

[Gaeta]

This would bug me and make me think you had other girlfriends. If you are in serious relationship with someone, why wouldn't you approve their pictures...

 

That is a surprising comment from a woman your age. Not everyone has their nose glued to their FB to watch what their GF or BF will put up. Especially those passed 35. I have not been on FB for 2 weeks now I don't care what others are posting and I wouldn't care what a BF would post. If he has a cute picture he can show it to me when he's with me.

[Els]

That is a surprising comment from a woman your age. Not everyone has their nose glued to their FB to watch what their GF or BF will put up. Especially those passed 35. I have not been on FB for 2 weeks now I don't care what others are posting and I wouldn't care what a BF would post. If he has a cute picture he can show it to me when he's with me.

 

I don't think she meant him just not putting up pictures. In the case of the poster she quoted, he specifically declined permission for a picture to appear on his timeline after the girl went through the effort of uploading it and tagging him. I wouldn't do that even to a platonic friend, honestly - I approve anything my friends tag me in when I see it. Obviously, the person just not logging in to FB is completely fine, but that wasn't what JJ was saying.

 

I can understand someone getting pissed over a partner doing that to them, but not the OP's scenario.

[Gaeta]

I don't think she meant him just not putting up pictures. In the case of the poster she quoted, he specifically declined permission for a picture to appear on his timeline after the girl went through the effort of uploading it and tagging him. I wouldn't do that even to a platonic friend, honestly - I approve anything my friends tag me in when I see it. Obviously, the person just not logging in to FB is completely fine, but that wasn't what JJ was saying.

 

I can understand someone getting pissed over a partner doing that to them, but not the OP's scenario.

 

Thanks for clarifying. Proves my point even though I have a FB account I care so little I don't even know the difference between liking and tagging lol

[d0nnivain]

Maybe it is a generational thing. I will also admit upon further reflection that there are some seemingly trivial things that make me nuts. I have told this story here on LS a few times. When we first got together DH would give me these elaborate cards that he really put thought into picking out. I prefer funny cards but he wanted this frilly prolific wordy ones. I came to realize it was because Hallmark had the words he couldn't find. Anyway, he used to sign them with his name. Nothing else. Not Love, his name. Not Dear D0nnivain. Not even the date. He simply wrote his name at the end. Made me crazy. I begged, I cajoled, I instructed (always a big winner in relationships), I whined (another great idea -- not). Eventually he caved & learned how to sign cards correctly IMO.

 

 

That's probably even more silly than the OPs desire for her BF to publically display a photo of them. It remains the wrong hill to die on.

 

 

OP in a relationship, when real love is there, the other person wants to do things that make their partner happy. DH still doesn't understand why I prefer the card to be written just so (besides the conventional wisdom of the proper way to address social correspondence) but he does it because he gets a kick out of how happy it makes me. After having watched me write cards to others on our joint behalf he has even learned to write a short personal message in the cards -- "I love you"; "I'm glad you're my wife" etc. I make a big fuss when he does this.

 

 

So if this is what you want, you can tell him. But don't break up over it if he won't. It may still be too early for the photos. It also won't have any effect in keeping other girls away. Don't kid yourself. You can't inoculate any relationship against infidelity.

[No_Go]

Some people have "difficult" families they don't necessarily want to share details of their dating life with. I've been with women whose parents would have disowned them if I had posted pictures of us together on her wall.

 

 

Yup, I'd never ever share personal pictures on FB unless engaged or something like that, not sure even then, mainly for family reasons...

[No_Go]

This would bug me and make me think you had other girlfriends. If you are in serious relationship with someone, why wouldn't you approve their pictures...

 

I'm 100% not a fan of parading a relationship, even if it is dead serious. Maybe I'll compromise if I'm engaged with a wedding date, nothing less than that though. Relationships and dating are hard enough (and unfortunately volatile) to involve friends, family, classmates and random stalkers into them.