Southern Sun Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 You really can't make a condition of your reconciliation that she has "unconditional love" for you. She can display love to you. She can have loving actions towards you. But you will really never know exactly what she feels towards you. And by the way, most spouse's love for one another IS conditional. I mean, I bet you are starting to not love her quite as much because of the conditions she's recently created, huh? The only thing you can do is require certain things that are measurable. You could require her to quit her job. I mean, dang, the moment my D-Day occurred, my job was OVER (affair with my boss, too). You could say that, since her boss is supposed to be leaving, either he is gone by x date (whatever you've been told), or she must quit her job by x date. Perhaps there are other actions you would like to see from her besides her device transparency - planning date nights? Initiating sex? I don't know. You can't measure anything by feelings. I can't recall when her affair happened, but I will tell you that it can take a while for "feelings" for a WW to settle into something that resembles normal. She had an affair, and while that is way wrong, what IS perfectly natural for people in an affair is to 1) convince themselves that their marriage was never really that good, even in the beginning; and 2) maybe they don't even love their spouses anymore. All of this allows them to rationalize how and why they are doing something so out of character in the first place. So she has to dig herself out of that hole. You can decide that you aren't okay with that and choose to divorce. Many men do. Or, you can decide that you are willing to wait to see if she can dig out, as long as she is demonstrating effort and loving actions to you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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