Heart broken over a girl who is wrong for me

[sbk24]

Sorry this might seem long winded, I am seeking advice on what to do and how to beat the pain.

 

I am 22 and this is my second serious relationship which lasted 11 months. (Previous was 8 years - childhood sweethearts i guess). I met this girl on tinder and she lived an hour away from where I live. The honey moon period was fantastic and to be honest even when the honey moon period passed I still thought she was the one but then I think when you are in love you ignore all their flaws in which there were many.

 

After being together for about 6 months I asked her to move in with me as it saved time on commuting, she was jobless and paid rent, whilst I live home alone mortgage free. It might have been to fast to move in but it was also a fairly sensible idea. Life seemed great together as we could talk about anything, go do anything and just have fun. However, I started to resent the fact that she was a bit of a bum, I ended up paying for everything and I did not seemed to be appreciated. The girl had no job or any previous job. She had no qualifications and no ambition to achieve any. I tried to make her the best she could be, paying for driving lessons, finding jobs etc. I even offered her a job at one of my businesses but she was so lazy.

 

We ended up arguing and she decided she wanted to move back to her hometown as she missed her family and friends, which is completely understandable. She only spoke to two friends the whole time she was with me but has recently reconnected to her old friends who do not seem to do much apart from smoke weed everyday. I agreed as I thought it might be good for her.

 

Things from that day on everything seemed to change. The girl just became different. One time she came over and I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks and she literally spent no time with me. Just speaking to her guy friends on the phone and playing video games. I just said "I give up whats the point" and we just split since then.

 

I would ask to see her for a chat when I was in her town but she always said she was busy and doing something. I even asked would you want to try again as I am not even sure what happened. She said no and that she needs to focus on herself getting a job and a place to live away from her parents.I guess I feel rejected and hate the fact that she would see her friends than spend 10 minutes with me. Furthermore, she constantly asks for money and I feel bad and give in. The thing is I would cut all ties but I still have her dog and cat who I have become really attached too as they are my best friends as I have no family and do not want to burden my friends. When I try to ignore her and block her she uses the animals against me and says shes going to collect them that afternoon. Even though she can't afford to feed them or even let them have a good place to stay.

 

I am just confused that she still wants to keep in contact and tries to talk too me as if we can just be friends but then is unwilling to see me for even a quick chat. I hate the fact she uses the animals against me and I hate the fact that you could be someone's priority then seem like a nobody.

[LitTunnel]

First off im sorry you're going through this. I'm sure you're feeling a great amount of pain and rejection. I've been there first hand so I can totally relate. With this being said its obvious she's lost a lot of attraction and respect towards you. Perhaps you were babying her too much and she resented that and/or she's so immature, which from the sounds of it she is, that she knew from you're actions that you were totally into her and that went straight to her head. Either way this girl is not a keeper. Let me tell you something friend, no matter what you do this girl is going to run. She's just way to immature and can't handle a mature relationship no matter how hard you try. The only way she will change is if you totally go NC and in time she'll realize what she lost and change. But someone like her that change might be a long time. You must stop right here right now, no more chasing her. You're beating a dead horse here, honestly.

 

Bro, you have a lot going for you. You're a baller. You have you're own business, your own place and your mature. This is a major attraction to strong beautiful women. Trust me. Countless women would die to be with a baller like you. Ditch this loser. I know it's easier said then done. Believe me. But she is a loser. A woman like this will only bring you further down in life. You want a strong woman who will only serve to elevate you. She's clearly not the one. I bet if you completely cut her off in a short amount of time she'll come crawling back to you like a dog. I still wouldn't take her back but you do as you please.

 

Bro, you're a baller, remember that, and she's a loser for treating you like ****z. Ditch her, even though it will be tough. Start searching for a new and way improved woman. They are out there just waiting for you. Go through all the pain. Give your ex her pets and totally cut her from your life 100%. No social media, phone number, friends, messenger, emails. All of it, cut it off and disappear like a ghost. Trust me, in time she will gain so much respect for you. And under no circumstances you beg or plead. Guaranteed death if you do. Remember, you're a baller. You're the man. You can get a girl way better than this loser. You can and you will:)

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry, she's checked out of the relationship if she was ever in it. You were doing a lot for her but she wasn't reciprocating much. For some reason, totally self-centred people seem to be attractive, maybe because we have to work to get their attention - who knows? She is a user. She is disrespectful.

 

The previous poster was right, you have a lot going for you. Guys like you are in demand. Once you realise this, you won't put up with anything from her. How would you be dealing with the situation if you were not emotionally involved with her? Try to look at it dispassionately.

 

I know you'll find someone better. It's difficult when we have bonded, but we have to find a way out when the other person is not right for us.

[sbk24]

Thanks guys, means a lot. I guess I find it hard because all I remember are the good times and not the bad. I guess I just have to accept it's over and time to move on.

 

I think it's missing someone there and maybe not specifically her? As I have no family and guess I get lonely.

 

Do you think it maybe because she is seeing someone else? Or she wasn't into me in the first place to act like this?

[spiderowl]

We can't know what is driving her but sometimes feelings just change. Maybe she felt you were unhappy with the inequality. What we feel does tend to 'leak' out in some way. Maybe she's just a detached type. She's probably more into drugs at the moment.