SadSouls Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 So my girlfriend and I broke up on February 10. Well over a month ago. I actually broke up with her after we had a fight about her changing plans at the last minute. We then spoke that following weekend and I persuaded her to give us another go. About 1.5 weeks ago, after having a good month 'dating', she tried to end it saying that she didn't think that she would be able to feel any different about things. Once again, I tried persuading her that it was the wrong decision but she was firm. She then text me the next day to say she wanted to give it another month to see how she felt after. I agreed, of course. But I've been thinking this week. Why am I not wanted by this person after dedicating 9 months of my life to her? Despite 'dating' again she's booked up all of her weekends with other people for the next 2-3 months. I'm not happy anymore, she used to make me happy. I don't think we can fix where we are, the only reason I've not ended it so far is because I don't want to be lonely. I don't have so many friends, and my best friend is currently away travelling. Thoughts? 1
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Change is difficult. There is comfort in having a relationship but that is about to change. Especially with your BFF away, your GF feels familiar & on some level it's easy. Unfortunately, her feelings & yours have changed. You are hanging on to the memories of the earlier stages of your relationship & ignoring the reality that it's not longer fulfilling. I do think it's best you go your separate ways at this point. 2
LovelyCassie Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Although I agree with d0nnivain. I have to say that you have to think it through well enough. Perhaps what you're feeling is temporary as you seem currently frustrated IMO. Remember this quote from Dr. Seuss. However, If you come to decide to end the relationship then make sure you won't be looking back.
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Trying again should mean investing in quality time with each other to work on your relationship issues. I don't see her investment here, in fact there is very little interest or seriousness to make this work. Your guy feeling is valid. It takes two to repair and build a relationship to back to what it was....she isn't doing any of that. You are best to cut your losses while you can.
Author SadSouls Posted March 11, 2017 Author Posted March 11, 2017 Change is difficult. There is comfort in having a relationship but that is about to change. Especially with your BFF away, your GF feels familiar & on some level it's easy. Unfortunately, her feelings & yours have changed. You are hanging on to the memories of the earlier stages of your relationship & ignoring the reality that it's not longer fulfilling. I do think it's best you go your separate ways at this point. Yep, change is very difficult. We spent a lot of our time together when in a relationship, I'd say most nights a week. Only had a few days off in our entire 9 months. It's hard to go from that to absolutely nothing. Although I agree with d0nnivain. I have to say that you have to think it through well enough. Perhaps what you're feeling is temporary as you seem currently frustrated IMO. Remember this quote from Dr. Seuss. However, If you come to decide to end the relationship then make sure you won't be looking back. I love that quote. I know that deep down she knows we'd work out well, so I fear that's something that will be applicable to her in a few weeks. Trying again should mean investing in quality time with each other to work on your relationship issues. I don't see her investment here, in fact there is very little interest or seriousness to make this work. Your guy feeling is valid. It takes two to repair and build a relationship to back to what it was....she isn't doing any of that. You are best to cut your losses while you can. I tried my best when we started 'dating' after our breakup. I did everything she asked of me. Gave her so much space, took her out for nice meals and did fun things with her. It was very demotivating to give everything and to receive nothing. I'm not convinced this was an honest attempt from her to give us another shot. There are other signals too. I noticed that she was being a bit shady with her phone when we've hung out. I noticed at one point she was messaging a guy she knows on words with friends. She insisted it was nothing, but wouldn't show me the chat. I said to her "promise me he's nothing" and her reply was "I don't think so". I'm inclined to trust her on it, just because she's never really given me a reason not to trust her. But who knows right?
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