Gomes Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Hey guys, I'm in need of some help. So I was in a relationship with this girl. It was a recent relationship but we were fine a little jealousy here and there but normal. Until 3 days ago she decides to tell me she doesn't want a relationship and wants to be free. My reaction was trying the convince her on the spot to keep trying. She was at work so we talked for only a few min. So I told her I'd wait for her until she leaves so we could talk. She said "okay" I went inside waited but for some reason 20 min before she got out of work I decided to leave. I felt disrespected and felt like I was acting like a puppy. So when I was about to leave she asked me in a concerned and caring way "u leaving?" Which I replayed without even looking into her eyes "yup". So it's been 3 days I haven't contacted her and she hasn't contacted me, but she did block me on snapchat the day we broke up and today I posted a picture on Instagram and that was enough for her to block me a few minutes later and she was at work when she did so. I assume she was checking my page or simply saw on the feeds but my question is "why would she block me if I'm respecting what she wanted?" Hopefully I'll get some help from u guys. Thank you
Life lessons Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Hey guys, I'm in need of some help. So I was in a relationship with this girl. It was a recent relationship but we were fine a little jealousy here and there but normal. Until 3 days ago she decides to tell me she doesn't want a relationship and wants to be free. My reaction was trying the convince her on the spot to keep trying. She was at work so we talked for only a few min. So I told her I'd wait for her until she leaves so we could talk. She said "okay" I went inside waited but for some reason 20 min before she got out of work I decided to leave. I felt disrespected and felt like I was acting like a puppy. So when I was about to leave she asked me in a concerned and caring way "u leaving?" Which I replayed without even looking into her eyes "yup". So it's been 3 days I haven't contacted her and she hasn't contacted me, but she did block me on snapchat the day we broke up and today I posted a picture on Instagram and that was enough for her to block me a few minutes later and she was at work when she did so. I assume she was checking my page or simply saw on the feeds but my question is "why would she block me if I'm respecting what she wanted?" Hopefully I'll get some help from u guys. Thank you If you hadn't of asked her to talk after work then there probably wouldn't have been an issue. You asked her this and then left. Of course she'd be upset. Who wouldn't be!? You definitely owe her an explanation! Why didn't you wait on her like you stated you would? 1
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 two reasons i block people one is to stop them knowing what is going on in my life other than what i choose to tell them the other is if i have residing feelings and i need to block myself from their life so i can move on and not obsessively check if they are ok and what they are up to.....so necessity...because it hurts when they couldnt give a flying crap what you were doing or how you are.....its a coping mechanism and helps emotional distance to naturally form....... she blocked you so she can move on basing that on personal experience....which you helped her to decide by leaving..deb 1
Marc878 Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Hey guys, I'm in need of some help. So I was in a relationship with this girl. It was a recent relationship but we were fine a little jealousy here and there but normal. Until 3 days ago she decides to tell me she doesn't want a relationship and wants to be free. My reaction was trying the convince her on the spot to keep trying. She was at work so we talked for only a few min. So I told her I'd wait for her until she leaves so we could talk. She said "okay" I went inside waited but for some reason 20 min before she got out of work I decided to leave. I felt disrespected and felt like I was acting like a puppy. So when I was about to leave she asked me in a concerned and caring way "u leaving?" Which I replayed without even looking into her eyes "yup". So it's been 3 days I haven't contacted her and she hasn't contacted me, but she did block me on snapchat the day we broke up and today I posted a picture on Instagram and that was enough for her to block me a few minutes later and she was at work when she did so. I assume she was checking my page or simply saw on the feeds but my question is "why would she block me if I'm respecting what she wanted?" Hopefully I'll get some help from u guys. Thank you Give her what she asked for. You'd have been better off to walk away upfront. Block everything and move on. If you chase they move farther away. Always 1
Author Gomes Posted March 11, 2017 Author Posted March 11, 2017 I understand that but she was very clear with her words she also said "I wish you the best I really do but there's nothing we can do about it"
Author Gomes Posted March 11, 2017 Author Posted March 11, 2017 two reasons i block people one is to stop them knowing what is going on in my life other than what i choose to tell them the other is if i have residing feelings and i need to block myself from their life so i can move on and not obsessively check if they are ok and what they are up to.....so necessity...because it hurts when they couldnt give a flying crap what you were doing or how you are.....its a coping mechanism and helps emotional distance to naturally form....... she blocked you so she can move on basing that on personal experience....which you helped her to decide by leaving..deb I left due to the fact that she was sure about what she was saying
Altair0770 Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 You weren't really wrong for leaving. A talk would have only pushed you away or broken the relationship enough that any on the spot reconciliation wouldn't last long. Don't take the block personal. It helps YOU move on. You shouldn't be checking her social media anyways. Just do NC. If anything walking away may have made her get what she wished for, and make her realize she should have thought more before making a decision. The main question is why did you walk away? Seems to me you accepted her decision and didn't feel it was worth it to try to press on. That's a position of strength, not weakness. Don't feel offended that she blocked you. Probably was because a supportive friend gave her the correct advice. It also helps you move on. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 todreaminblue gave you the best explanation for the social media blocking. She is correct. As for leaving, I think you were wrong, especially if your initial goal was reconciliation. You fix a relationship by talking to each other & working on the issues. She was wrong to dump you in the middle of a work day without proper time to talk but when she agreed to talk the honorable thing to do would have been to see that through. Instead you bailed 20 minutes before she got there. In her shoes the only conclusion she could have reached would have been that you didn't care enough to even try. It reinforced for her that the decision to break up was the right one because other than a sentence on a phone call you offered no push back. What's done is done. Let her go. Work on healing 1
marky00 Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 todreaminblue gave you the best explanation for the social media blocking. She is correct. As for leaving, I think you were wrong, especially if your initial goal was reconciliation. You fix a relationship by talking to each other & working on the issues. She was wrong to dump you in the middle of a work day without proper time to talk but when she agreed to talk the honorable thing to do would have been to see that through. Instead you bailed 20 minutes before she got there. In her shoes the only conclusion she could have reached would have been that you didn't care enough to even try. It reinforced for her that the decision to break up was the right one because other than a sentence on a phone call you offered no push back. What's done is done. Let her go. Work on healing and if he showed up and with an openness for a reconciliation, we would have called him needy and clingy. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 and if he showed up and with an openness for a reconciliation, we would have called him needy and clingy. I would not have. One discussion about fixing what's wrong is not needy or clingy. Once the other person says no, that's it, after you have said your piece, continuing to press for time or friendship or to keep repeatedly contacting the other person that is needy & clingy. Here it was a single conversation which is perfectly acceptable IMO. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 I would not have. One discussion about fixing what's wrong is not needy or clingy. Once the other person says no, that's it, after you have said your piece, continuing to press for time or friendship or to keep repeatedly contacting the other person that is needy & clingy. Here it was a single conversation which is perfectly acceptable IMO. ill second that donnivain ....its notneedy or clingy and she didtn think so either obviously... because she agreed to the talk she didnt say no or stop asking she said yes and he bailed.....i would also even guess in my opinion that there was a chance of reconciliation......tears and crying do not always mean finalty and something being over....they can also mean a change of heart..but when he walked away ...he didnt exactly find out what the real reason for her tears were. when she asked are you leaving? ..he just said "yep"and left...pretty abrupt and cold ...... and then proceeded into no contact...she did what she had to do after that..........deb
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 Sometimes people just need to sit and think at it alone rather than talk it out. Things are tense with a breakup,.... there can be haste and confusion which just makes thing even more complicated, and you just don't know what to do about it. OP just give space between the two of you for now.......let the dust settle.
marky00 Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 I would not have. One discussion about fixing what's wrong is not needy or clingy. Once the other person says no, that's it, after you have said your piece, continuing to press for time or friendship or to keep repeatedly contacting the other person that is needy & clingy. Here it was a single conversation which is perfectly acceptable IMO. Maybe but once you poke around the edge of the rabbit hole, it's pretty easy to fall right in soon after. It's not really that surprising he bailed on the face-to-face. Such encounters rarely bear any fruit for the dumpee. His Ex probably just got annoyed because she missed her chance at relieving some guilt by trying to offer closure. By him not showing up, she can now own that guilt on her own. 1
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