Author viatori patuit Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 You seem to have got involved with a woman who doesn't appear to like you all that much, just now. At 18 months the honeymoon phase is wearing off and you are now both seeing the real person. I think here you need to assess whether she truly loves you and you are just going through a phase of getting to know one another well, with the usual fights, power struggles and irritations, or whether she is just using you as a father/provider for her kids and the real you is a bit of an inconvenience to her. I think your hesitancy to communicate with her is a bit of a problem, so you need to be more assertive and tell her how you feel and ask her what she feels in return, tactfully and in calm tones. Forget the ILYs, anyone can tell you that, and concentrate on what you both really want in this relationship. Proper open communication may help greatly here. Resentment kills relationships. Well, this is what I expected! and right to the point and thoughtful! Thank you for taking the time to comment and think. In thinking a bit I think you may be correct. I might just be a surrogate provider for her and the kids that she pays begrudgingly with what she thinks it is worth. She is certainly liberal in the definition of what she owes me in terms of money. That never really bothers me as I tend to the generous side. I will speak with her today and report back. I am no longer upset by the situation so I should be able to do it calmly and rationally.
rester Posted April 12, 2017 Posted April 12, 2017 Wow, this starting to get much worse. We are scheduled to move into a new house at the end of the week. We already live together, but it would be a significant upgrade. She has been AWFUL the last few days. Very withdrawn and sarcastic. It is 2:30 am, and I am sitting outside cooling off from yet another nasty comment she made tonight. She has done this sort of thing before, though it varies in its intensity. She blames PMS, but for the life of me it seems that treating someone poorly can never be excused by claiming hormones. I am beginning to feel taken for granted. Oh, and she NEVER apologizes for the behavior. For the last few days I have been thinking this situation might be more serious than I thought. Now, I really could use some more guidance. I am actually thinking of ending this situation but I am really unsure. How do I objectively judge a situation where I am not objective? Premarital counseling. I wouldn't expect her to change once you are married. It would be best to resolve these issues before you commit further.
Miss Spider Posted April 12, 2017 Posted April 12, 2017 That's part of who she is. #dealwithit or break up. This is why the term 'deal breaker' exists
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