goldway90 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 From your other thread When I actually go on a date when I'm really attracted to them and also into their personality I fall much too quickly into "putting them on a pedestal" mode and probably start to act unnatural There's your problem, you have to learn how to relax and stop analyzing everything, work on this.
Kitchen Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Sorry to hear this man. I have a thread going about a very similar girl. Young and fickle. Total mind f**k. Keep us posted on if she contacts you again.
Kitchen Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 When you messaged and called her about the second date was that several hours or a day prior to the date? What was the timespan in relation to when you were supposed to meet? In what way does the timing matter? I'm genuinely curious. What is too soon and what is too late? My date with a similar type of girl is Wednesday around 10/11am. When should I be texting her to confirm we meet? Sorry, don't mean to hijack OP's thread. But this is a question I've been pondering about as well.
act00 Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 This is typical OLD behavior, and I really don't know where to go with it or what to do with it. I'm always one with the "rose colored glasses" and will offer up a second chance, and put up with a lot more than I probably should. They either met someone else, or their lives are just not conducive to dating at the moment, and they have no business making plans if they can't follow through. You can continue to keep that door open, maybe toss out a text or two, but DO NOT get emotionally invested, and see if it goes anywhere; OR cut your losses, she's flaky and has other priorities, don't waste your time. We're not mind-readers, and you can make the cut now, or just keep that door cracked and see if there is something more...entirely up to you. Some people go with "one strike, you're out." I'm more of a three-striker, much to my emotional demise, but I do know that life can toss curve balls at you, and what may seem like a good idea at the time, may not play out in reality (Thursday sounds great), so I keep an open mind. You can be cautiously optimistic, but please know when to call enough, enough. Decide on a personal boundary. I'm a three. The reality is, if Thursday turned out to be not a good plan, even though it seemed okay at first, she should have come back and said so. I think you need to think about cutting your losses at this point, but if you want to maintain the "maybe," just don't invest too much head space and emotion on it.
preraph Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I am certain she's popular with lots of options and multidating and just staying busy going out with friends. I just think you're one of her many options. I saw this behavior with an old roommate of mine who would double-book dates and then sometimes ghost on both of them and she liked the guys, but she didn't think of guy's feelings and plus very few of them stopped trying after she did that crap. Why? Because she was blond and big-boobed. We see women overlooking bad behavior all the time, but men do it too when the woman is attractive enough, and my friend had a sparkling personality too, if you could overlook her thoughtlessness (diagnosed narcissistic).
ExposedBrick Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I am certain she's popular with lots of options and multidating and just staying busy going out with friends. I just think you're one of her many options. I saw this behavior with an old roommate of mine who would double-book dates and then sometimes ghost on both of them and she liked the guys, but she didn't think of guy's feelings and plus very few of them stopped trying after she did that crap. Why? Because she was blond and big-boobed. We see women overlooking bad behavior all the time, but men do it too when the woman is attractive enough, and my friend had a sparkling personality too, if you could overlook her thoughtlessness (diagnosed narcissistic). Sorry to hear man. Hot and cold women are the absolute worst in my opinion. They can really mess with head by giving totally mixed signals. You can use her for an occasional hook up but don't even consider her in any sort of romantic way, or you'll go nuts. I recommend placing her on the back burner and never put her ahead of any other opportunities. You can make "plans" with her but you should flake if a better option comes around as this is definitely what she is doing to you. Get a rotation of women going and things will seem a lot clearer.
normal person Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I wouldn't think too much of it. The same has happened to me more than once. Girl will get in touch, we'll go out, she'll seem like she's having a lot of fun, will want to kiss or stay over, and then it fizzles out. The best thing you can do about it is ignore it and move on -- if you don't get too upset about, you might actually hear from her again (which is interesting but you probably should avoid her). This happens every once in a while to me. Girl will disappear and then pop up out of the blue apologizing. Not worth your time. On to the next one.
Titanll Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 Lots of folks bashing the girl in this thread...but I am going to go out on a limb here and say that she isn't online whining about how OP blew her off with the ole "prior commitment" excuse. Was she too fast for you? Why are you here asking questions...move on. Do you think that you screwed up and missed an opportunity for a relationship? You did, why are you here asking questions...move on. The woman owes you exactly nothing and she can behave anyway that she wants. Put some energy into meeting someone new, it's a better use of your time. Plus, most of the responses here seem to be making the woman in question out like some nut job all the while pouring sympathy on you for making all of the mistakes...no wonder men get a bum rap for having no balls anymore!
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 How old is that one grey? Several of us have asked this question. I'm curious to know the answer. 2
Author Grey40 Posted March 12, 2017 Author Posted March 12, 2017 She's 23 and has a 1 year old kid if that changes anyone's mind. Supposedly the father went totally silent and disappeared and she hasn't seen him since she got pregnant. He's never even seen the kid apparently. Im not going for this age group of women particularly, but these are the girls who match with me and show a lot of interest initially, so that's why I pursue. She was a model before she had her kid, so she obviously can have her selection of mostly anyone she wants. I don't care if it never developed but it would have been nice to at least have a small fling or hookup with her. And I'm pissed if I could have had made it happen and I somehow blew it. I really don't like going out on dates and having it at least not lead to something sexual. If it's not going to be serious, I want it to be sexual at least. I know it's just not a good look to be going for it on the first meet up, but I'm going to be more aggressive in that regard from now on. Seems a lot of women on OLD (the younger ones at least) are either only interested in hooking up or don't know what they want which in that case, going for it helps to convince them one way or the other and you don't waste time wondering. I mean I know that's what I want too, so no need to try and just stretch it out to multiple dates to make it happen..because I might not hear from them again or get another chance to go on a second date.
Dis Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 She's 23 and has a 1 year old kid if that changes anyone's mind And bingo!!! 2
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 Seems a lot of women on OLD (the younger ones at least) are either only interested in hooking up or don't know what they want which in that case, going for it helps to convince them one way or the other and you don't waste time wondering. I mean I know that's what I want too, so no need to try and just stretch it out to multiple dates to make it happen..because I might not hear from them again or get another chance to go on a second date. And that is why that at 30you should search women around your age and stop chasing those 22-23 years old, as I say to you in each and everyone of your thread. 3
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 And that is why that at 30you should search women around your age and stop chasing those 22-23 years old, as I say to you in each and everyone of your thread. Exactly. Grey, I'm just not buying that the only women you happen to match with (are you talking about the site matching you? You matching each other, which involves both of you...?) being very young. If so, it's possible you're leaning heavily in that direction and trying to "act young," which in person tends to come off really odd no matter how naturally one thinks one is doing it (was on the receiving end of this more than once as a young woman with older men approaching), which could be why the girls are turning off after meeting. On the other hand, if you're only picking up on those women and telling yourself they're the "most interested" ones (due to YOUR) interest), you're still doing yourself a disservice because it's just not going to work out. You and I and all of us know you don't HAVE to just "happen to" match with girls barely out of, or still in college (or in that age group). And the thing is, you just aren't having success this way. The "flaking" (which is NORMAL for an early-20s woman OR man) and childish (because they ARE kids, basically!) attitude toward dating are getting you more and more down. Your posts are more and more dejected. You're going to become bitter, meanwhile still alone. Why not stop this "I can ONLY have anything in common with much younger girls" (which you obviously don't, since they disappear fast and you disapprove of their flakiness, so no, that's not something, or really even anything in common) farce and just date someone your own age? What is the block you have about that? You should think hard and investigate that. It could change everything for you. 2
VeveCakes Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 That's the age you are matching with because you have the parameters set to it and you're using apps that cater to that age group. 18-26 women have 0 idea what they want for the most part, especially the single ones. You have every excuse to keep aiming for that age but then you can't handle the outcome. Time for a change. 3
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