Grey40 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Really disappointing experience. Just baffled. I'll try and make this brief. Met a brand new girl on okcupid. Talked it went well gave me her number. Called her to setup a date, she agreed. She then totally blew off the original date, called her, texted her--no response. Figured she wasn't interested and moved on. She texted me a couple days later saying she was really sorry and her phone was messed up. I said ok do you still want to hang out Sunday? She said yes that sounds good. She calls me and texts me like an hour before the date saying "are we still on? I hope we're hanging out, realltvwant to see you" We go out on date--lunch and winery--she loved every minute of it. At the end of the date I walk her to her car, she goes for a full blown makeout session--15-20 seconds. She says I should come over later and drink wine with her. (I had an obligation I had to attend to). I call her an hour after that, she says she'll call me back--she never does. Ok so the next day I text her and ask her out for Thursday. She says great that sounds good to her and she can definitely hang out. So that was today, once again the time rolls by she never contacts me or anything. Texted her, called her and sent her a message on the dating app. No reply. I'm very confused. She made out with me after the first date. SHE went for it. What the hell? I'm ready to just quit.
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I am so sorry. ( I can hear your frustration from here. She may have felt rebuffed when you said you had an obligation? I hate to ask but this isn't another very early 20s or younger girl, is it? 1
The_Dork_Lard Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I see a pattern. You make contact, see her, she disappears, you chase. Classic cat and mouse. Repeat. She's loving it, and you're stroking her ego, as well as all the other men she's playing. Stop chasing, and stroke yours instead. 5
BaileyB Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 What can I say, some women are really stupid! Don't give up. Just throw this fish back into the pond where she can do her own thing... The right woman for you will treat you so much better! 1
hippychick3 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 My sense is that she has a boyfriend and is just looking for fun on the side. 1
TheBathWater Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 It sounds to me like you had an opportunity to get laid and passed it up, and for whatever reason she's not super interested at the moment. My suggestion is to let her come to you, and when she does, make plans to follow through on that wine drinking night at your or her place, and give it to her good. 4
OnlyHonesty Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I call her an hour after that, she says she'll call me back--she never does. Why did you continue to chase after this? People treat you how you allow them to. Give someone no more than one more chance after they mess up. If they do it again then move on. As I always say. When someone shows you who they are, listen to them... She has very clearly demonstrated her pattern but you ignore it. Pay attention! Forget about the makeout session...think with your brain... 1
Author Grey40 Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 It sounds to me like you had an opportunity to get laid and passed it up, and for whatever reason she's not super interested at the moment. My suggestion is to let her come to you, and when she does, make plans to follow through on that wine drinking night at your or her place, and give it to her good. That is entirely my plan. Unfortunetley apparently because I did not do that on the first meet up she moved on. I don't get it. Girls always say they don't want guys to be that aggressive on the first date, but now because I didn't...she's not interested. She KNEW I had an obligation and had to leave, and if she wanted to to just bang, why wouldn't she have hung out with me tonight? She's been active on okcupid so clearly she's on her phone and is purpusly ignoring me
Author Grey40 Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 It sounds to me like you had an opportunity to get laid and passed it up, and for whatever reason she's not super interested at the moment. My suggestion is to let her come to you, and when she does, make plans to follow through on that wine drinking night at your or her place, and give it to her good. I didn't pass it up, I called her after my obligation, and quickly Said she was eating dinner and had to call me back
TheBathWater Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 That is entirely my plan. Unfortunetley apparently because I did not do that on the first meet up she moved on. I don't get it. Girls always say they don't want guys to be that aggressive on the first date, but now because I didn't...she's not interested. She KNEW I had an obligation and had to leave, and if she wanted to to just bang, why wouldn't she have hung out with me tonight? She's been active on okcupid so clearly she's on her phone and is purpusly ignoring me Yeah, many girls do say that don't want a guy like that...but women still respond to those men emotionally. Women really don't understand what triggers their attraction emotionally, hence why many "say" they want a nice guy but obsess over the bad boys. Just look around this forum. As for why she's not hanging out with you now, who knows? If she was looking to get laid that night, you basically rejected her, and most women are sensitive to rejection. If she was really into you, or if she still has enough interest in you, you'll hear from her again and something will work out. I hope it does. As a side anecdote, my last girlfriend didn't have sex with me until the fourth or fifth date, but I pursued sex with her from the start...not like a slob who can't control himself, but like a man who couldn't help but adore her. She later admitted finding it endearing. Even though she (and many other women) won't sleep with a guy on the first date, I do believe most would still rather FEEL like the man is desiring them intensely and in that way then to have a polite meeting where everyone goes home with dry underwear.
coolheadal Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 (edited) Really disappointing experience. Just baffled. I'll try and make this brief. Met a brand new girl on okcupid. Talked it went well gave me her number. Called her to setup a date, she agreed. She then totally blew off the original date, called her, texted her--no response. Figured she wasn't interested and moved on. She texted me a couple days later saying she was really sorry and her phone was messed up. I said ok do you still want to hang out Sunday? She said yes that sounds good. She calls me and texts me like an hour before the date saying "are we still on? I hope we're hanging out, realltvwant to see you" We go out on date--lunch and winery--she loved every minute of it. At the end of the date I walk her to her car, she goes for a full blown makeout session--15-20 seconds. She says I should come over later and drink wine with her. (I had an obligation I had to attend to). I call her an hour after that, she says she'll call me back--she never does. Ok so the next day I text her and ask her out for Thursday. She says great that sounds good to her and she can definitely hang out. So that was today, once again the time rolls by she never contacts me or anything. Texted her, called her and sent her a message on the dating app. No reply. I'm very confused. She made out with me after the first date. SHE went for it. What the hell? I'm ready to just quit. OH Yes! OKC Women, I've had my share of tails of the dark-side. You got off lucky with her. She is having fun with you and you're spending you money on a woman who can have anyone guy on OKC but you have allow her to play her dating game on you. Never text more than once and wait for her to chase you. Your chasing someone who's dating plenty of guys. If I was you move on to another woman, but always remember your in control not them. Never make them have the upper hand. See what happens when you do. Edited March 10, 2017 by coolheadal
ashy555 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Girl here.. No she is not acting this way because you didn't have sex with her. Don't believe that BS for one minute. In this situation you didn't do anything. This girl is just plain stupid and emotionally unavailable! She's a scatterbrain and doesn't know what she wants. She is also probably in contact with an ex or dating quite a few different men. I bet she will contact you again soon. If you feel like sex, go for it. Don't expect anything more though as she already proven to be extremely unreliable and disrespectful towards you. 7
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Let her actions tell the tale......ditch the b^%$# 3
ashy555 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 People who plan dates and then don't respond to you ON the day of the date, are my biggest pet peeve. They have basically just ruined your day. Never give those people a second chance unless they have a bloody good excuse! Letting them get away with that only teaches them how to treat you. Learnt that lesson too many times myself lol 2
Jj66 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Next!! Don't put up with it. No piece of tail is worth this kind of craziness. 1
TheTraveler Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Really disappointing experience. Just baffled. I'll try and make this brief. Met a brand new girl on okcupid. Talked it went well gave me her number. Called her to setup a date, she agreed. She then totally blew off the original date, called her, texted her--no response. Figured she wasn't interested and moved on. She texted me a couple days later saying she was really sorry and her phone was messed up. I said ok do you still want to hang out Sunday? She said yes that sounds good. She calls me and texts me like an hour before the date saying "are we still on? I hope we're hanging out, realltvwant to see you" We go out on date--lunch and winery--she loved every minute of it. At the end of the date I walk her to her car, she goes for a full blown makeout session--15-20 seconds. She says I should come over later and drink wine with her. (I had an obligation I had to attend to). I call her an hour after that, she says she'll call me back--she never does. Ok so the next day I text her and ask her out for Thursday. She says great that sounds good to her and she can definitely hang out. So that was today, once again the time rolls by she never contacts me or anything. Texted her, called her and sent her a message on the dating app. No reply. I'm very confused. She made out with me after the first date. SHE went for it. What the hell? I'm ready to just quit. What are you doing? She blew you off the 1st date. No call, no text, no smokescreen from an airplane saying, "I can't make it." That is an automatic phone number into the trash can. I haven't been blown off via online dating for the 1st meet. There's clearly something you are doing wrong. Message you back a couple of days later, whoops my phone is acting craaaazzzzy! Did you actually believe that nonsense? And you actually offered to meet up with this girl? And take her to lunch and winery? No ****ing way! Then you call her that night and she says she'll call you back. Nothing. You immediately text her the next day to set up a date for Thursday? Don't get a response so your answer is to text, call, message her in the app? You're so thirsty gray you're coming off as a rabid horny teenager. You've got to stop this. It's coming through when you meet them in person. I commend you for trying, but OLD isn't going to work for you until you make some changes. You are halfway there. You are getting people to talk to you, you are getting numbers, and you are getting in person dates. But, you need to clean it up. 2
rushed Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 We go out on date--lunch and winery I'm very confused. She made out with me after the first date. SHE went for it. What the hell? Maybe it was the alcohol and then she sobered up. Regardless, she sounds way too flaky. You don't want someone like that.
GoldSparkz Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Why are you chasing after this girl who is treating you like a lap dog? Have some self-respect and dump her now! If you stop boosting her ego then she will start to act appropriately with guys.
Author Grey40 Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 What are you doing? She blew you off the 1st date. No call, no text, no smokescreen from an airplane saying, "I can't make it." That is an automatic phone number into the trash can. I haven't been blown off via online dating for the 1st meet. There's clearly something you are doing wrong. Message you back a couple of days later, whoops my phone is acting craaaazzzzy! Did you actually believe that nonsense? And you actually offered to meet up with this girl? And take her to lunch and winery? No ****ing way! Then you call her that night and she says she'll call you back. Nothing. You immediately text her the next day to set up a date for Thursday? Don't get a response so your answer is to text, call, message her in the app? You're so thirsty gray you're coming off as a rabid horny teenager. You've got to stop this. It's coming through when you meet them in person. I commend you for trying, but OLD isn't going to work for you until you make some changes. You are halfway there. You are getting people to talk to you, you are getting numbers, and you are getting in person dates. But, you need to clean it up. You're right it's over the top. She's really The only girl that has bailed on me totally before the first meet up with no answer or reply, so I wouldn't say I'm nessecarily doing anything wrong I think this is simply just her. Second, she did respond to me asking for a date on Thursday I told her she could meet me at X, and she said that it wasn't too far and she could do that and it "sounded to good to her". THEN she went totally cold and silent and haven't heard from her since, I only called and messaged because I didn't hear from her on cancellation or anything. I will agree that something is wrong, there's something I'm not getting right and I think I just need more practice/work. I have no problem talking online, getting numbers and getting dates setup, but having tons of trouble getting second dates and transitioning into the sexual realm.
GemmaUK Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 You do appear to get overly invested in people from date #1. Maybe that comes through in your behaviour. When you messaged and called her about the second date was that several hours or a day prior to the date? What was the timespan in relation to when you were supposed to meet?
act00 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I'm a woman and I've had this happen a lot with OLD. There are other dates/potential dates, or she's just not that into you. I've been cancelled at the last minute or totally stood up, and yes, ghosted. Of course I don't know the "real" reason why. She could have contacted you via the dating site on a computer. The phone excuse falls flat. I'm going to say, she's just really not interested. She had a nice time, but something is amiss. Stop texting her. Whether she's dating or keeping the door open for other guys, or her life is just crazy busy, if she blows you off like that, it's not worth. She has other priorities, and you don't seem to hit the top 10.
Titanll Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 You were thinking she was girlfriend material? I mean she could be, but she could have just been looking to hook up and you didn't get the memo. She doesn't owe you anything.
CptInsano Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Let her actions tell the tale......ditch the b^%$# Thanks for making me laugh. My sentiment regarding that situation is pretty much the same.
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