shahjskalio Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I'm dating a guy who from day one said he has commitment issues because he's afraid to get hurt. He said that because I asked him if he did. We've been talking since October and I see him about once a month because he's either working or he's too tired. In the beginning he was so romantic and kept telling me he misses me and acted like a bf, even bought me a christmas present first. Now he is getting distant... He does text me but no more romantic word and he doesn't open up much. He'll just sent a meme and that's it but he's closed off. Idk what to do:( I know he's a good guy but the whole commitment issues is making me want to not talk to him anymore. What do I do?
dumbass2 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I'm dating a guy who from day one said he has commitment issues because he's afraid to get hurt. He said that because I asked him if he did. We've been talking since October and I see him about once a month because he's either working or he's too tired. In the beginning he was so romantic and kept telling me he misses me and acted like a bf, even bought me a christmas present first. Now he is getting distant... He does text me but no more romantic word and he doesn't open up much. He'll just sent a meme and that's it but he's closed off. Idk what to do:( I know he's a good guy but the whole commitment issues is making me want to not talk to him anymore. What do I do? Tell him how you feel and that things are progressing for you and you want to know where he stands. Let him know what your issues are that you described here. If he's wishy washy then tell him it's probably best that you two move on. 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I'm just going to come out with it. Take a deep breath and brace yourself. I'm dating a guy who from day one said he has commitment issues because he's afraid to get hurt. He said that because I asked him if he did. You basically handed that one to him. "Uh, yeah, that's right. That's COMPLETELY right! I have commitment issues because uh, I might get hurt. There's my slot for any future ridiculous carelessness I put you through. Merci, mon cher, you're a gem." We've been talking since October and I see him about once a month because he's either working or he's too tired. Or because he's either keeping his options way open in case something better comes along in the meantime, or he's already seeing someone else, or else he just sort of is "meh" about whether he sees you at all. In the beginning he was so romantic and kept telling me he misses me and acted like a bf, even bought me a christmas present first. Let me guess. Shortly after you dropped trou in response to this patented love bombing (RooshTM), this started to fade away? Now he is getting distant... He does text me but no more romantic word and he doesn't open up much. He'll just sent a meme and that's it but he's closed off. Idk what to do:( I know he's a good guy but the whole commitment issues is making me want to not talk to him anymore. Good. You SHOULDN'T want to talk to him anymore. Innocently, you handed him one-half of what he needed to accomplish a PUA-style deck-'er-and-then-keep-'er-on-deck-for-later. He just had to LIE there and let you do that work of getting hurt. And he encouraged it. Because yay...fish in a barrel. Reprehensible. Yes, indeed, you should not want to talk to him anymore. He's a sleeze. YOU DUMP HIM. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 i think knowing where you stand is important who wants to be with someone who isnt invested in making a commitment..... maybe have that talk with him but reverse it...tell him you want to commit to him......you want the relationship to last you feel like it has real potential and you want to invest your whole heart init....see what his reply is.....so its not pushed on him pressure on him to commit but more what you want.....your hearts desire for the relationship to progress.....if he is commitment shy it is better you know now rather than six months further ..... dont invest your heart where it isnt appreciated...says me...the biggest investor in non receptive vessels....you need to be with someone who is as willing to commit as you are not a man who has no intentions of returning your heart with his.....i made my heart a promise.....that i would not be committed to anyone with less commitment than me.....and loyalty ....no rewards for wishy wishiness....you should make yourself that promise too your heart and have that talk with him...know where you stand and what return you are going to get.....face to face talk done with maturity and understanding.....dont fold stand true to what you want........deb 2
Erik30 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Move on. No guy who likes you is going to be "too tired" to see you, and only one date a month doesn't look good. (Unless it's long distance, but still..) Don't settle for that 6
anzhoulau Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Leave him with his commitment issues and you start dating other guys. 4
dumbass2 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Tell him how you feel and that things are progressing for you and you want to know where he stands. Let him know what your issues are that you described here. If he's wishy washy then tell him it's probably best that you two move on. oops. meant that things "aren't" progressing for you 2
todreaminblue Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 oops. meant that things "aren't" progressing for you it still fits with are because they are progressing for her...he is the one pulling back.....:0).......isnt it funny how words that are exactly opposite can fit and really mean the same thing just different contextual meaning...sorry being a word geek...lol....deb 1
Zahara Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I'm dating a guy who from day one said he has commitment issues because he's afraid to get hurt. He said that because I asked him if he did. We've been talking since October and I see him about once a month because he's either working or he's too tired. In the beginning he was so romantic and kept telling me he misses me and acted like a bf, even bought me a christmas present first. Now he is getting distant... He does text me but no more romantic word and he doesn't open up much. He'll just sent a meme and that's it but he's closed off. Idk what to do:( I know he's a good guy but the whole commitment issues is making me want to not talk to him anymore. What do I do? "Good guy" isn't enough. Tell him how you feel but I don't think it'll make any difference. It doesn't get better. You see him once a month and you're now down to memes. Time to move on. You already know this. 1
BC1980 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 It looks like this wasn't very serious to begin with. You only saw each other once a month, but you should start seeing each other more as time goes on. A relationship should progress as time goes on, but this one didn't. I would just let it go and move on. 3
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Talking since October.....it's flippin March....strike one See each other once a month......strike 2 Says he's so busy...strike 3 And all he has to say to you is that he misses you and you BELIEVE IT! You only have your own desperate self to blame....zowie girl you can do better and deserve better than this. Have some self worth, find someone who treats you proper. 4
coolheadal Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Got someone else other than you! He's too busy for you and you again have fallen into this player game. Shy right so shy he can't contact you like a normal guy. Why oh why do you tolerate such a guy like this. WAKE-UP, WAKE-UP at the fantasy, it's not really suppose to happen this way. Go find a real man that will call you, text you on a daily bases. Go see him and not this player. 1
GoldSparkz Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 You say that he's become more distant...he only chooses to see you once a month! How can he become any more distant?! He may as well disappear. In my experience, if the guy isn't making the effort to see you then that's the biggest sign that he isn't interested. Also the whole 'scared of getting hurt' thing is nonsense and a ploy to stop you getting too close. I wouldn't invest any more time on this guy, there are plenty more fish in the sea. 2
Author shahjskalio Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 Thanks for all the advice guys!!!! Another thing is that he has major depression and gets into depressive states often:/ 1
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Thanks for all the advice guys!!!! Another thing is that he has major depression and gets into depressive states often:/ All the more reason to....RUN FOREST RUN! 1
GunslingerRoland Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Thanks for all the advice guys!!!! Another thing is that he has major depression and gets into depressive states often:/ If you were already in a relationship with him, I would suggest you to try to be supportive. But I wouldn't recommend trying to force a relationship with someone who is battling something, and clearly doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. (once a month, and meme sending is not a relationship) 2
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