ExposedBrick Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I have an opportunity to go on a date with a new girl tomorrow or continue seeing a chick I've been dating for a month. The chick I've been dating for a month has been up and down and I feel like it turning into a slow fade away. I was probably going to drop her like a ton of bricks if things didn't pick up some momentum tomorrow. The potential new date would be for tomorrow though, a Friday, or she also suggested Sunday which is the worst night for a date. She also said she was going out of town for a week after that. I don't want to lose the momentum but looking too available (having a free Friday the next day) never looks good. I'm also concerned the date may get lost in the mix of her being gone a week if we push it out. Thoughts or recommendations?
smackie9 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Cancel the date and tell her to contact you when she gets back. 2
introverted1 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 How did you meet the new girl? If OLD, then I don't think a Sunday night date is terrible because it's just a first meeting really, not a true date. If you met her IRL, then what about Sunday brunch? If it's going well you could go to a museum or botanical gardens or walk in the park (weather depending) afterwards. Daytime dates can be fun. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Go on the date. You are over thinking this. There is no momentum after 1 date. Remember she's free on the Friday night too. See what happens when she gets back. It's a few hours not a lifetime commitment. 4
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 Go on the date. You are over thinking this. There is no momentum after 1 date. Remember she's free on the Friday night too. See what happens when she gets back. It's a few hours not a lifetime commitment. Maybe this was confusing. There are two women involved. Girl one I already have a date set with Friday but I don't think it's going anywhere. Girl 2 I met via OLD and had suggested meeting Friday or Sunday evening or after she returns. The issue is I'd have to cancel on girl 1 to see girl 2 on Friday, or do a Sunday date which suck in my opinion, or wait until she gets back.
act00 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I don't think being available on Friday looks desperate or anything at all. In fact, I think it shows your genuine interest in her. I would go. How did you meet her? OLD? I find it's better to meet sooner over later, or you may find it never happens. I would also like to meet this new person before the date with the not-so-sure anymore girl. It will help put in perspective what it is you're looking for. Sunday dates can be very nice, and rather than Sunday night, suggest coffee early, which can extend to a nice brunch, lunch, or early evening meal, and as mentioned, if you hit it off, you can see if there's something else to do. Plus, if you're like me and you need to tie up loose ends before work, you have an excellent excuse to cut things short if it's just not going well. It would be a bummer to cut things short if you really, really wish you could keep going, but it creates a limit so things don't move too fast too soon, and can cause a spark that outlasts the week she'll be gone. You'll both really work at making sure you'll see each other again the second she gets back. I vote Friday. If you hit it off, add Sunday!
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Maybe this was confusing. There are two women involved. Girl one I already have a date set with Friday but I don't think it's going anywhere. Girl 2 I met via OLD and had suggested meeting Friday or Sunday evening or after she returns. The issue is I'd have to cancel on girl 1 to see girl 2 on Friday, or do a Sunday date which suck in my opinion, or wait until she gets back. If you are going to break up with girl # 1 don't waste her time or your money on the Friday date but hurry up & cancel. Don't try to slot girl #2 into tomorrow at this late hour. If Sunday is the only time you have available, Sunday it is.
dumbass2 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Go out with girl A on Friday and girl B on Sunday or break up with girl A and stop wasting each others time and take out girl B on Friday and if it goes well, see about Sunday before she heads out of town. Those are the 2 best options I see, but make a decision today and stick with it. Worse case scenario is you break up with A and girl B turns out to not be what you're looking for, so back on the market. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Friday is up to you (even if it's fading, what do you have to lose? Do something inexpensive, local and easy and just see what happens) but as for the woman who's going away, I wouldn't jump for that bait. If she wants you, she'll be as ready as you are once she gets back to set up a date. JMO.
devilish innocent Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Girl #1- It boils down to whether you feel you need to see her again to ensure the relationship isn't going anywhere, or if you already know things are over. If you're not going to have any regrets over not seeing her again, then it probably doesn't matter if you end things before the date or after the date. It sounds like things are still casual enough with her that you can end them over the phone rather than having to do it in person. Girl #2- I think you're overthinking things. If you have a good connection, then it's not going to matter whether you see her the very next night or whether you have to wait a week. I get the sense that you really want to see girl #2 tomorrow. Things are still early and simple enough with both girls that that is as good of a reason to make a decision as any. Do the right thing by girl #1 though. Don't leave her hanging. Call her up and tell her you had some good times with her, but you just don't see things working out and you want to cancel. Then make the appointment with girl #2.
Erik30 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I don't think you should cancel a date for someone else. That's usually my own rule anyway for similar situations. The new girl might turn out to be flaky, (yeah she's probably really nice but you don't know her that well yet) and you could end up with no dates at all, wishing you had given the other one a final shot... unless you're sure you don't want to see her anymore
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 Girl #1- It boils down to whether you feel you need to see her again to ensure the relationship isn't going anywhere, or if you already know things are over. If you're not going to have any regrets over not seeing her again, then it probably doesn't matter if you end things before the date or after the date. It sounds like things are still casual enough with her that you can end them over the phone rather than having to do it in person. Girl #2- I think you're overthinking things. If you have a good connection, then it's not going to matter whether you see her the very next night or whether you have to wait a week. I get the sense that you really want to see girl #2 tomorrow. Things are still early and simple enough with both girls that that is as good of a reason to make a decision as any. Do the right thing by girl #1 though. Don't leave her hanging. Call her up and tell her you had some good times with her, but you just don't see things working out and you want to cancel. Then make the appointment with girl #2. Can I just text girl #1? Things were going great with her initially but then go le whatever reason she started fading on me and honestly hasn't been treating me the best. I'm a little bit pist at her honestly.
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Can I just text girl #1? . You can if you want but dumping somebody by text is cowardly & borderline rude. Have the common courtesy to be kind & gracious when you do this. You would want somebody to spare your feelings & dignity if the roles were reversed. Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. 1
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 (edited) You can if you want but dumping somebody by text is cowardly & borderline rude. Have the common courtesy to be kind & gracious when you do this. You would want somebody to spare your feelings & dignity if the roles were reversed. Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. I decided to pursue the new opportunity. I don't have time to waste at this point in my life on someone who is clearly not all in for me. The dates were essentially set up at the same time so there isn't really a way to break things off before meeting girl 2. I told myself I didn't want to waste any more time with girl 1 because it could prevent me from meeting someone better. Things haven't progressed to the point they should have with girl 1 and are even regressing in many aspects. We initially were hanging out 2-3 times a week, and now only once. She also hasn't responded to some of my texts whereas she was texting me every day before. The last time I saw her a push notification came up on her phone from Bumble and we both saw it. She admitted she was still exploring other options. Given we had been on about 10 dates, she is still lukewarm, and things seem to be regressing, I don't know that a break off my text is inappropriate. The options are to: 1. Cancel girl 1 and do the proper break off tomorrow 2. Move the date with girl 1 to later in the night and go out with both of them 3. Break it off with girl 1 via text during the day, she had already expressed some doubts about her feelings towards me so I can't imagine she'd actually be upset Edited March 10, 2017 by ExposedBrick
elaine567 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Can I just text girl #1? Things were going great with her initially but then go le whatever reason she started fading on me and honestly hasn't been treating me the best. I'm a little bit pist at her honestly. Maybe she picked up on the fact your mind was elsewhere... and so mirrored you. I know OLD can be a bit like the kid in a candy store situation, but perhaps better to just put all your effort into one girl at a time. 1
Ittakestwo Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Clearly you are not that interested in #1 if looking elsewhere. Call her and breakoff like a man. 1
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 10, 2017 Author Posted March 10, 2017 Maybe she picked up on the fact your mind was elsewhere... and so mirrored you. I know OLD can be a bit like the kid in a candy store situation, but perhaps better to just put all your effort into one girl at a time. I wish that were the case. I was starting to have feelings for her but she took the wind out of my sails.
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 The options are to: 1. Cancel girl 1 and do the proper break off tomorrow 2. Move the date with girl 1 to later in the night and go out with both of them 3. Break it off with girl 1 via text during the day, she had already expressed some doubts about her feelings towards me so I can't imagine she'd actually be upset While it's not ideal. just call her when you break up with her. It's not about ending it. I think you owe it to yourself to do that. I just cringe when I think you are going to do it by text. Don't try for 2 dates in 1 night. Plus it's already Friday afternoon, at least here. If I were girl # 2 & you called me to go out tonight, on principle I'd say no because you had no respect for my time or you thought so little of me that you think at this late hour I'd still be free on a Friday night.
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