Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 So me and this girl have been talking for 2months. About a month in, she asked me to be exclusive and not get with other people. We've been going steady at that and it's been fun. Shes very honest but ik theres a lot of rumors about her which ive asked about and realized werent true, its just that shes very goodlooking to the point where a lot of guys say theyve been with her, however their friends tell me that the guys are lying about it because shes hot. Now heres where it gets tricky. She tells me she wants to be exclusive and not get with other people, but isnt sure if she wants a relationship and is like "maybe i guess. time will tell". So were exclusive, but not together or close to it... Not sure if im being played here and i dont want to ask over and over because than im clingy and desperate but it really does confuse me. Plus, her birthday is coming up. Usually when im together/exclusive with a girl for 3 months ill get a nice bday present, the problem is were not together/exclusive, just exclusive? Very confusing because this isnt usually a thing with girls. And i dont think shes using me because she thought i cheated once and buggeddd out very early in the talking phase and says if i get with other people or talk to other people shell be hurt, but doesnt want something serious, but likes me sm and is really conflicted.... Nobody i know knows whats goin on with this and calls her my gf and says were dating but idk. Plus idk her friends so idk what she tells them and idk what to think. So whats the move, i have other options but dont give em any thought bc were exclusive, but thn im like whats the point of talking to a girl for a long period of time like months for her to be like lol hes not my boyfriend to everyone? First post on here so whats everyones opinion maybe uve seen this before
goldway90 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 My personal opinion is to find someone who knows what exclusivity is because this girl doesn't and you're wasting your time. 2
Author Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 I may give it a little time then be like look I dont want to waste time or be used so if u dont want anything at this moment I cant do it
Jj66 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 You're letting her have all the power because you are mesmerized by how hot she is. Tell her you like talking to her but you're done wasting your time. She had her chance. Let her know that you WILL be talking to and dating other people. 5
Author Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 Im definitely going to say something, i just feel like i hangin more playin a little hard for like 2 weeks and thn saying it is the smarter way. Get her a little more attatched and thn just throw the curveball
Ittakestwo Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 That is just playing games and looking for drama. You say she is honest..what about you??
Author Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 I am completely ive called her out on it before told her when im around my ex's she kinda just is like maybe well end up doing something in a while maybe not. Im like ok i guess and thn we kinda move on. Ive been thinkin about when to have like the real serious talk ab it but i wanna grt her a little more attatched to me first and thn do it.. u think shes just messing with me or actually doesnt know what shes doin
Author Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 Shes very quick to leave that topic. I mean she likes me i just dont know if shes using me in a way. I dont wanna like play and mess with her head at all im just thinking maybe give it time and thn see what she says and have a real sit down about it
Jj66 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 If she's actually interested in you (I doubt it), telling her the talking has gone on long enough and you're done wasting your time will do much more to "get her more attached" than continuimg what you are doing: waiting around for her like some dog waiting for table scraps. But then you are mesmerized because a hot woman talks to you, no? Well, buddy, there are other hot women oit there. You don't need this one who apparently enjoys watching guys string themselves along. She can get her desperate need for attention met somewhere else.
Zahara Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Shes very quick to leave that topic. I mean she likes me i just dont know if shes using me in a way. I dont wanna like play and mess with her head at all im just thinking maybe give it time and thn see what she says and have a real sit down about it She leaves the topic because she wants no part of it or whatever it is you are offering. Her terms are her terms. And she's not going to get more attached. She just wants to keep you in the corner for attention. She knows she's hot. She knows she can get guys. And she knows you're weak for her. And talking for two months? This all sounds very shallow. 1
Larryville Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I had to read this a few times to make sure this was real and not an April Fools joke. Amazing how people are perfectly willing to waste time, unnecessarily. 4
Author Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 Lol talking meaning a stage before dating officially. And idk shes so iffy about everything like maybe well go out and **** i dont get it. Im gonna talk ab it tm with her and be like look i wasnt sure what u were thinking so i didnt know what to do but this doesnt fly with me
Jj66 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 What is this 'talking for 2 months' ? You never met? The young people have different terms than we did. I'm not sure exactly what "talking to" means but I get the impression that it's what we would have called the flirting stage and can sometimes include the initial dating stage. "Dating" appears to be what we might have called going steady. I'm not sure where "hanging out with" and "seeing someone" fall in the spectrum but there is apparently a well-defined hierarchy in kids' minds that I don't understand.
Author Frosty1234 Posted March 9, 2017 Author Posted March 9, 2017 Its not well defined its very confusing and every girl makes up their own **** lol hence this thread
CollegeKid101 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Its not well defined its very confusing and every girl makes up their own **** lol hence this thread No..this is wrong. LS posters, I am in my earlier 20s, but perhaps I can enlighten our community with the kid's terms. Talking - texting all the time and flirting (99% of this is through text) Hanging out - the step after you've texted for an entire week about nonsense A "thing" - The equivalent of seeing each other, talking regularly, hanging out, going on a date like mini golf or the movies. NOT together. Usually lasts 4-5 weeks. Dating - exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend There are no in-betweens. This girl just likes keeping OP in the corner. They're a "thing" right now; they will never transition to dating. OP, she does not want to date you. Girls at that age all want boyfriends, you're just convenient and she's probably been with those other guys...from my experience people do not lie about who they've been with. They may exaggerate what happened, but something certainly happened.
CloudyHead Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Talking = having sex. I have asked people this several times when they say "we're talking". I'll ask "does that mean you are having sex?" And, 90% of the time the answer is "yes".
Jj66 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 My gf's son once asked his mother if we were dating or just seeing each other. Things that make you go hmm. Apparently to him, dating is more serious than seeing someone. And then my kids friends say they are dating when they've never even gone out. It means they like each other and both know about it. I've heard the "talking to" expression a few times from the younger 20 something crowd used to refer to the early pre-exclusive part of a relationship usually buy not always before sex has happened. Yours is the first time I've heard of an exclusive "talking to" relationship status.
lolablue17 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I think it's great that a girl who likes you, but not sure if you're the one, takes time to decide while being exclusively. The exclusivity decreases stress, and allows the process to be much better and calmer. If I were you, I would just take it as a funny side of her, and do what ever i like. Just treat her as a girlfriend and ignore her definitions. Tell her that you treat her like a girlfriend by all means, and she has the right to define it the way she likes. You can also be telling some funny remarks, for example, you can offer "may i take my "not girlfriend" to a movie? Or saying - I love my "not girlfriend". You just don't have to obey to every caprice she makes. Be a man, lead the situation, don't be a door mat. 1
confusedgirlfriend11 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 If I were you, I would just relax and go with it. Who cares about labels so soon? The fact that you're exclusive is more important. She isn't interested in other guys. If you want to buy her a nice present, then buy her a nice present. There are no rules regarding this. Do what you feel is right. And about all, enjoy it. Life is too short! 3
olivetree Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 I think it's great that a girl who likes you, but not sure if you're the one, takes time to decide while being exclusively. The exclusivity decreases stress, and allows the process to be much better and calmer. If I were you, I would just take it as a funny side of her, and do what ever i like. Just treat her as a girlfriend and ignore her definitions. Tell her that you treat her like a girlfriend by all means, and she has the right to define it the way she likes. You can also be telling some funny remarks, for example, you can offer "may i take my "not girlfriend" to a movie? Or saying - I love my "not girlfriend". You just don't have to obey to every caprice she makes. Be a man, lead the situation, don't be a door mat. I like this approach. It's confident and manly = attractive. And it takes the pressure off her. You're only two months in. Just enjoy it. If she still doesn't know at 6 months, perhaps you have a problem. If you're unable to change your perspective and take this approach though, you should bail now. A man torturing himself and settling for less is not appealing.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 So me and this girl have been talking for 2months. About a month in, she asked me to be exclusive and not get with other people. We've been going steady at that and it's been fun. Shes very honest but ik theres a lot of rumors about her which ive asked about and realized werent true, its just that shes very goodlooking to the point where a lot of guys say theyve been with her, however their friends tell me that the guys are lying about it because shes hot. Now heres where it gets tricky. She tells me she wants to be exclusive and not get with other people, but isnt sure if she wants a relationship and is like "maybe i guess. time will tell". So were exclusive, but not together or close to it... Not sure if im being played here and i dont want to ask over and over because than im clingy and desperate but it really does confuse me. Plus, her birthday is coming up. Usually when im together/exclusive with a girl for 3 months ill get a nice bday present, the problem is were not together/exclusive, just exclusive? Very confusing because this isnt usually a thing with girls. And i dont think shes using me because she thought i cheated once and buggeddd out very early in the talking phase and says if i get with other people or talk to other people shell be hurt, but doesnt want something serious, but likes me sm and is really conflicted.... Nobody i know knows whats goin on with this and calls her my gf and says were dating but idk. Plus idk her friends so idk what she tells them and idk what to think. So whats the move, i have other options but dont give em any thought bc were exclusive, but thn im like whats the point of talking to a girl for a long period of time like months for her to be like lol hes not my boyfriend to everyone? First post on here so whats everyones opinion maybe uve seen this before I get a kick out of these contradictory dating situations where "I am dating this person, but not really...in a sense, in a way...kinda, etc., etc., etc." lol 1
CollegeKid101 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Talking = having sex. I have asked people this several times when they say "we're talking". I'll ask "does that mean you are having sex?" And, 90% of the time the answer is "yes". Not in a kid's world.
morrowrd Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) ok, I'm guessing this is young love. With respect to that, understand that you are majoring in the minors, making mountains out of mole hills. Stop worrying so much and go with the flow, enjoy your time together. Make her laugh, laugh with her, explore each other sexually, and trust....until you have a reason not to. Don't be so needy that you pine over her past, or that she's hot and assume wrongly that she sleeps around. Be a man, learn security. Treat your girl RIGHT, and give her freedom to be herself. Trust me, she'll stick with you if you're good to her. Edited March 12, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T
spiderowl Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Two months is quite early to be trying to define a relationship. She wants to be exclusive so that's a good thing. I think it's ok for her to still be wondering about the relationship. People move at difference paces when it comes to emotions. It does not mean she is ruling you out. If you got to 5 or 6 months and it was the same story, then I would be concerned.
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