SteelStrings Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) This is about me and my girlfriend of about a year and a half. First of all, it's been a rocky relationship. We've split in the past before. And lately, thoughts of being by myself and noticing myself thinking of her less and less have become more serious. Just becoming less and less attracted to her overall. This is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Now, just a little backstory. I haven't been and am not the best boyfriend in the world. I can be selfish at times and have serious issues in character(such as lying to her to hang with friends, etc). I acknowledge this and so has she. Just a little to my own defense, she has a tendency to be quite controlling at times, which clashes hard with my hate towards authority or being told what to do(I know that sounds childish but honestly I am childish). Anyways, because of my lying and such she basically has no trust in me and any sane girl probably would of broken up with me by now. But for the most part I try to be a truthful person and her constant accusations and nagging put my nerves on edge. So now with that out of the way, the main point of this is I just can't see myself living a life with her and most times enjoy my time without her more than with her. But because of the way I've wronged her many times before I feel very guilty when debating breaking up with her. It makes me feel like an awful person to put her through my hell and then just drop her. But I can't shake these feelings. Even after trying to really fix things which worked temporarily but eventually the feelings came back. Any advice would be appreciated. Edited March 9, 2017 by SteelStrings Left out some information
Raena Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Breakups are never easy but if you aren't happy in the relationship, why be in it? Life is too short to spend it being miserable.
VeveCakes Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Time to man up and set her free. You are doing her a favour, so she can go find the man that truly loves her. You only have one life. Don't waste days unhappy. 3
Hopeful30 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) All of my breakups started with this feeling. The thing is, this can be mended. You can open communication channels and work on yourselves so the relationship improves, but the question you have to ask yourself is how much you want to. Also keep in mind that this is your longest relationship, so this boredom and being tired of her might be a new phase you're not sure how to handle or recognize. All in all, if you don't have the desire to see a future with her, and if your heart isn't in it, then by sticking to your truth, you will be doing both of you a good thing in the long run. You said you are trying to be truthful, well this is maybe your biggest chance to do so. And even though it might feel aweful in the beginning, you will have an inner peace knowing that you did the right thing, and will find this pain is temporary and part of personal growth. No one said change is easy. Before jumping to a break up though, voice your intentions and how you feel. Give her a chance to speak as well, because maybe all isn't as bad as it seems. Express to her your boredom and desire to end things before actually cutting the cord. Open this dialogue. By the end of it, you will be more sure of what to do. Edited March 9, 2017 by Hopeful30 1
TheTraveler Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 So now with that out of the way, the main point of this is I just can't see myself living a life with her and most times enjoy my time without her more than with her. You wrote this, not me. Rip the band-aid off and move on. End the relationship OP. It will be better for the both of you in the long run
elaine567 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Yes, you should break up with her, it is ruined. She doesn't trust you an inch due to your lying and you want your freedom. It is done. Trust once lost is very, very hard to regain. If you had a 10 year marriage behind you and three kids I would say go to counselling and really work on it for years, but it is not worth it here. You want out, so just tell her it is not working for you and end it. Life is too short. In your next relationship stop the lying. Lying to her is what has made your gf controlling and lacking in trust. In order to feel safe she feels she has to control the situation, she does that by accusing you of things to continually test your truthfulness, and putting down restrictions so she knows what you are doing, whereas if she felt she could trust you she would have relaxed and left things alone.
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