Kolus Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 I met a great guy (online) at the end of December. We were pretty much immediately together - he introduced me to some of his friends on our second date, we were exclusive within a week, we'd planned to meet each other's families and had a weekend trip scheduled for later this month. Our relationship was very easy. We had a lot in common, both values-wise and hobbies-wise, got along with each other's friends, and communicated well. He's 24 and I'll be turning 26 in about a week, he still lives at home whereas I only moved to this city about a month before we met. I don't have much dating experience, and had been open about that. I've dated a couple other people for a few months at a time but didn't have strong feelings for either of them. He was in a 5-year relationship that ended more than a year before we met. He recently went on his first solo international trip, and within a few days of returning broke up with me, citing mainly that he enjoyed the independence and didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. The other two issues he mentioned were our libido mismatch (I wanted it more often than he did) and that I'm a "real adult" (live in an apartment, cook my meals at home, looking for a career-type job) and he doesn't feel like he is (lives with his parents, shares a car with his dad, starting a PhD program in the fall). He didn't mention this, but I think part of the problem was also that I've been unemployed since moving here and, being new, didn't have a very active social life, so I put too much on the relationship. I haven't been in touch with him since the breakup (two whole days ago) but will probably see him socially relatively soon since we share a hobby. He agreed not to attend for the next few weeks to give me time, but will be back eventually. There's still a lot of mutual respect there, we still like each other as people, we had great communication all the way to the last moment (including the breakup conversation) and I trust him. Plus, he's the best match for me I've ever met - I don't even have friends that I have that much in common with. I'd like to leave the door open for us to give it another shot a few months from now, when I'm more settled and he may be in a different place as far as wanting a relationship. I figure my best bet is to just take care of me, not contact him except to be pleasant when we see each other, and hope that things change down the road. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice?
Zahara Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 Often when people fast forward, it crashes and burns soon after. You both moved really fast. It isn't surprising he came back from his trip wanting to end it. Yes, move on from this. If at some point he returns, you can determine your next steps. But accept that it is an ending and do what you need to do to heal from this.
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