declan Posted July 25, 2005 Posted July 25, 2005 [/b] hi my name is declan i have a problem and i think some of you know my wife who is using this site ! im the bloke who left his wife and went off with our neighbour and her best friend .. i know it was wrong and unfair of me and after reading some of your replys to her ( my wife?) i can understand if i get blasted from you all. and i deserve everything i get. just to keep you all updated the neighbour and myself have split for the moment , but i dont think there is much chance of us getting back together... so you were all right ...... my wife! has surprised me by being supportive and willing to listen to me ... i have been doing a lot of thinking about things lately and i have come up with one thing " i messed up big time" .
Sal Paradise Posted July 25, 2005 Posted July 25, 2005 Of course you come to that conclusion when the ride is over and you're left all alone.
katheryn Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 only you know if you messed up big time by wat you are learning wat has happened to your family over the last 6mths, i personely think you could well have messed up but do you want to put it right only you will know the answer to that one you will getslots of advice but only you and guess myself can come to wat will be the right thing in the end ,the children will tell you wat they think you want to know because your daughter is afraid to tell you how she feels because she doesnt know how you will react ,step daughter only trying to protect her mum , the wife
Author declan Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 i have spoken to the children and for what they have told me im confused ? one even said if i was to come back they would not be very happy because of all the heartache i have caused you. i have already been given lots of advice but like you said its only me that can choose which advice to take... i know what i have done has hurt you and i cant take that away, it has been nice and relaxed being able to talk to you over the last two days . putting things right ? i dont think i can put anything right ...
katheryn Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 i dont know wat you could do to put it right but if you wanted to put it right we would again have to spend time trying to work out were to go from there it is only you who could want to put it right and it would take time i done it before when you were younger i dont know if i could forgive you but i know we were played by the neghbour she wanted to split us up only she knows why and i doubt she will ever tell any body why she done it, i would need a lot time and talking and i dont know wat to do but im going councilling and going to keep going because i need to put some other ghosts away my doctor is pleased with my progress the wife
katheryn Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 i am very afraid of wat will happen if we dont sort out wat to do i now u are going through a bad time at the moment and i now how stressed you have been i hope talking to the councillor will help you,im hope it is going to help me im afraid to talk to you at the moment because i dont now how you feel as yoou dont show your feelings like me, and i know you feel safer when there are lots of ppl around i feel the same way the ppl i call my friends have been there for me the last 2 mths i have talked to them all some have been there more than others but they are not me and cant tell me the right thing to do, the wife
katheryn Posted July 30, 2005 Posted July 30, 2005 no but you hate me more than life it self ,any body who has tried to take there life will tell u that when these thoughts enter your head it feels like they are , no one can tell me it will be allright iwas trying to be there for you but i had my own problems wanting you, knowing that the moment you got the wires tugged you would go back, watching you suffer at the hands of another was hurting me so bad, i beg you take care of your self there might be nobody around next time you need help i know that you will never help me again ,not untill you have laid all the hurt away so i lost again, i didnt succed i have my children only know ellen dont like me a lot either at the moment but thats my fault i have to deal with it i dont want forgivness i want to be able to get back to were i was before you needed help ,
katheryn Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 it sun 8.20am uk time just finished night shift, im back were i was nearly 2 mths ago dec doesnt like me which i can understand but he thinks i did wat i did to get him , i did it for him wanted him to have the kids so he could have something to focuss on because watching him hurt was not very nice, i toldf him in a email that he was going through hell but mine has been there since we had problems got worse when he gave up and left, especially when he so dead against me for the last 2 mths, but i was there when he needed someone last weekend i didnt shut him out . but know im back to square one because he dislikes me again resents my trying to take my life i couldnt cope im sorry,i feeling very low because i keep remebering wat we talked about this last week he told me things i let him know how it had effected me, showed him everything explained why we were allways fighting, worst thing at the moment i dont wat is making me feel low lots of things keep popping into my head especially when he told my daughter that i didnt take the tablets like i said , because the hospital told him that my blood test was clear , tried to explain to him that meant i was safe to come home, not that i hadnt taken anything, i know have pushed him back into this relationship with the person we had decided had been playing us both he even told me that he felt played by her, but sign of cry for help on my part and back into her arms he went, i have to sort myself out i dont like feeling like this i feel desperate at the moment, just seen him walking up his mothers from hers, sdo he gone straight basck in to something he wasnt comfortable with because i tried to kill my self,
lindya Posted July 31, 2005 Posted July 31, 2005 Rather than passing messages to and from eachother by way of a public chat forum, why not either be adult about this, contact eachother privately and think about getting some couple counselling...or stop having contact all together if it's messing you both up to this extent. Katheryn, given the sort of work you do, you will have access to free employee counselling. You need it. Use it.
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