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Dealing with someone who rejected me


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Posted (edited)

I'm trying to get over someone who rejected me. Seeing him regularly on a weekly basis is hard, but at the same time, I look still look forward to seeing him as well.

 

I don't want to stop going to this place or change my schedule just because of him (as it would be out of my convenience), because I don't want him to have that kind of power over me. But still, sometimes I wonder if I'm kidding myself by trying to prove that I'm this "strong" person when I'm still hurting inside.

 

When I see him there, I don't go out of my way to say hello nor avoid him. I just act like everything is ok, say hello if we do pass by each other, and that's it. I'm trying to be the "better" person even though it hurts inside.

 

Do I just tough it out and still go, or avoid going back there to help myself move on more?

Edited by RogueOne
Posted

Avoid. There's no purpose in picking at a scab.

Posted

Stop going for a while. For as long as it takes. This has nothing with giving him power. You are a human being and it's normal to hurt, be good to yourself and give your heart some time to rest.

Posted

You have to somehow get passed the rejection. How hard would it be to say nothing and look through him? Hard as it is, it's empowering. You will get better with practice too!

Posted

That strongly depends on the rejection, and how you are handling it. I've been good friends with a few women who rejected me. Just because they thought I wasn't a fit didn't mean that they didn't like me. One of them successfully hooked me up with her best friend.

 

But if it still hurts you to see him, and the whole situation is awkward, then I would indeed change my routine and be in different places. It's not about him having power over you, it's about you having new experiences.

Posted

Hopefully this place isn't work you are talking about.

Posted
Hopefully this place isn't work you are talking about.
That's a good point. My advice would change if that was the case.
Posted

Mix it up a little. Try new places, and frequent the old place when you want.

 

It might be helpful to know what kind of place this is. Is it someplace where something similar is a drive across town or not convenient? Is it common like a coffee shop that are a dime a dozen? Is this work-related and difficult to avoid?

 

It sounds like you're doing well to me, at least outwardly, still saying hello and being friendly as needed, but not going out of your way to approach, be in the area near him, or scurrying in the other direction at the site of him, let alone giving dirty looks or scowling.

 

The best revenge is living well and being happy.

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