sweetnat928 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 (edited) My ex and & I had been together for 6 years. He was my high school sweetheart. I'm now almost 21. We moved in together this past fall. One day, my ex comes home & something seems to be bothering him. I ask him what's wrong & he says he's not happy with me. He said that there was no chemistry between us lately. To be honest, I kind of felt the same. That spark hadn't been there lately, everything seemed like a routine & we hardly went out on dates anymore. My ex implied that he wanted to break up. I said okay. He starts crying, which he normally doesn't. However, he said he wants to break up for now & maybe in a year be together again. I told him that I'm not waiting for him. He mentioned how he'll never find someone as faithful, loving, & good looking with a big heart as mine. He said that I'm perfect for him, & that he wants to be with me?? However, he said that he wants to break up for right now & get our lives started. He tilted his head back & said he's so confused about everything in his life. I told him that even though we're not in love anymore, I'll still always be there for him. He laughed & said "who said I wasn't in love with you still." He said that he doesn't know what's wrong with him lately. I said okay, I just want you to be happy. I said I'm going to start packing my things & move back in with my mom. He wanted me to still live with him. I said that would be a bad idea. As I was walking out the door, he asked if I wanted to break up, I didn't respond. Then he asked "are we making a mistake?" I said "I don't know what else to say" & then left. It's been almost a week, he hasn't contacted me. I'm not contacting him first. I had to go get a couple more things from the apartment today & everything is left the same.. on social media I've been following & talking to guys, I also deleted most of our pictures & changed my relationship status. However, I've been creeping on all his social media & he hasn't changed his relationship status, hasn't posted anything on any social media, still has alll our pictures, & hasn't followed or accepted friend requests from anyone on any social media. I'm so confused because in the back of my mind I have hopes of getting back together. However, I'm also angry & some part of me thinks he may not want to be together again. Ahhh thoughts??? I planned on marrying & starting a family one day with this guy :/ Edited March 7, 2017 by sweetnat928 Grammatical error
Purepony Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Unbelievable! There's more to this story there's just no way he can walk out like this. I think he found someone else
Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 You never walk out on the person who truly cares for you unless you do not feel the same. If I were you I wouldn't be buying his lame excuses.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 You never walk out on the person who truly cares for you unless you do not feel the same. If I were you I wouldn't be buying his lame excuses. This. OP, unfortunately, a lot of dumpers say all of these grand things at the same moment they are ending the relationship. Their actions don't support their words, because they aren't being totally genuine in what they are telling you. They make big declarations about how amazing and majestic and lovely you are in an effort to soften the blow. Actions are far more important than words in a break-up. He is also still quite young, I imagine (I assume you're around the same age?) It's sadly quite typical that highschool sweethearts split when they hit their twenties, simply because they've changed as they've transitioned into adulthood and don't really have any other dating experience. Some are perfectly content to marry their first real loves, but I would say the vast majority these days don't. There is a natural desire to explore and see what else is out there. I think the above is probably really what's motivating this. He's not ready to commit to a lifetime with one person. Speaking from experience, I would not wait around for him. It will be hard and you will need plenty of time, but you need to begin accepting the current fact that he's ended it - that will allow you to begin healing a little faster. I would delete him from social media, because as soon as he does delete your photos or relationship status or add a new female friend (even if it's just a platonic one), it will hurt. A lot. You need to protect your heart as much as you can right now. My sympathies to you, girl. Many of us have been there too.
niji Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 I'm so confused because in the back of my mind I have hopes of getting back together. However, I'm also angry & some part of me thinks he may not want to be together again. Ahhh thoughts??? I planned on marrying & starting a family one day with this guy :/ Don't get in touch with him. If he broke up with you, that means he doesn't want to be with you anymore, despite thinking he SHOULD be with you. Your situation is similar to mine; I once upon a time thought very strongly I'd marry my ex (highschool sweetheart as well), and if we ever broke up it'd be because he left me. Sadly, I belonged to the majority who didn't make it with their first love, and sadly, I broke up with him, despite telling myself I'd never ever find someone that GOOD (smart, kind, same core values etc) again. I broke up with him accepting the fact that he's a rarity, because I was unhappy. To tell you the truth, I'm still quite unsure why. Just like your case - the spark was gone, I was confused about my life, I wanted to do some growing up, I didn't feel the connection anymore, which in turn led to us (me) stopping the efforts to build the connection. Truly, I never knew how much he loved me until I broke up with him. I guess unlike me, he was content with how we were - not going on dates, not being intimate, etc. That just made me feel even crappier Truly, I had no one else on the side; after breaking up I sort of disappeared off the face of earth, got into several interests, traveled for a little bit and had a great time being single (and no, I wasn't hooking up or casually dating ), exploring my interest, being by myself. For several years that felt great, until naturally I started to crave a companionship I'd say from what I've seen, more people leave their ex because of someone else than those who don't have a second option, but your ex could just be like me - maybe he just feels he needs to grow up by himself. Unlike your ex, I told my ex that was it and we'd never get back together, because I didn't want him to wait around for me. That's cruel and disrespectful.
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