LotusAvx Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I went on a date with this guy, he is really sweet but there was no real chemistry or attraction on my part. I feel really bad letting him down..I want to let him down gently. On the first date (I met him online) he was talking about all these future plans with me and saying stuff like "we will have to do this" or "When you come to my house"...it kind of scared me away..it was 15 mins into the first date when he was saying all this. Now if only a guy I actually like would say these things and have that enthusiasm. How should I let him down easy? I have never had to do this before
Larryville Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 You tell him you are not interested... and move on. 3
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 "sorry but I don't see this going any further" "Thank you for the nice date. Sorry I just don't feel a connection...." "Not enough chemistry to continue, best of luck" "Sorry I'm not interested in a second date, but it was nice meeting you, best of luck." 6
Redhead14 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I went on a date with this guy, he is really sweet but there was no real chemistry or attraction on my part. I feel really bad letting him down..I want to let him down gently. On the first date (I met him online) he was talking about all these future plans with me and saying stuff like "we will have to do this" or "When you come to my house"...it kind of scared me away..it was 15 mins into the first date when he was saying all this. Now if only a guy I actually like would say these things and have that enthusiasm. How should I let him down easy? I have never had to do this before It was one date . . . if he calls and asks for another date, you tell him you enjoyed meeting him but you don't feel that the two of you are a good match. Plain and simple. You do not need to manage his emotions/feelings. That's up to him. If he's that attached to you after one date as to crumble, you've dodged a bullet any way. 4
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 What would you find acceptable if a guy was rejecting you? The truth or some sugarcoated bs? 3
O'Malley Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I'd keep it brief, chalk it up to a lack of chemistry and wish him well. Don't get into details, offer friendship or stay in touch. Rejection stings a little, but he'll move on.
CptInsano Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 What would you find acceptable if a guy was rejecting you? The truth or some sugarcoated bs? Agreed. There is no such thing as letting somebody down easy. An ambiguous statement only gives him false hope. 3
Titanll Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Give him more than a brief conversation. Walk him through your feelings and let him make his points about how he feels. Obviously, you both will feel better if you both make your points and end things on a good note. You don't owe each other anything but I think it's a horrible idea to simply tell him that there is no chemistry between you two and then say "take care".
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Give him more than a brief conversation. Walk him through your feelings and let him make his points about how he feels. Obviously, you both will feel better if you both make your points and end things on a good note. You don't owe each other anything but I think it's a horrible idea to simply tell him that there is no chemistry between you two and then say "take care". I have to disagree with this. He will think she's basically asking him to convince her and then when he ultimately fails to do (because you can't logic or argue someone into being attracted to you), then he'll feel even worse. I would be kind/neutral but would give no wiggle room for painful arguments that are ultimately doomed to fail. Simply, "Thank you for our date, but I don't feel we're a match." 6
Titanll Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I have to disagree with this. He will think she's basically asking him to convince her and then when he ultimately fails to do (because you can't logic or argue someone into being attracted to you), then he'll feel even worse. I would be kind/neutral but would give no wiggle room for painful arguments that are ultimately doomed to fail. Simply, "Thank you for our date, but I don't feel we're a match." Ok...take care.
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Ok...take care. Hey your approach isn't bad, just not suitable for a one date thing. Sure if you have been dating for awhile...more for a breakup situation yes.
frigginlost Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I went on a date with this guy, he is really sweet but there was no real chemistry or attraction on my part. I feel really bad letting him down..I want to let him down gently. On the first date (I met him online) he was talking about all these future plans with me and saying stuff like "we will have to do this" or "When you come to my house"...it kind of scared me away..it was 15 mins into the first date when he was saying all this. Now if only a guy I actually like would say these things and have that enthusiasm. How should I let him down easy? I have never had to do this before "There is something you should know about me. I have a penis." (or you could just be upfront and say "I had fun, but I don't think we are a match) 1
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