Invisible12 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I don't know how to begin , but I do have a lot to say. I met a girl last year in the month of August , I knew of her existence before but we never really spoke much. Time passed and one evening a few friends and I went out to watch a game of football , she was there as well. We didn't speak much that night as well , but there was something going on. I sensed it and so did she. ( Her friend told me about it a lot later). There was something pulling me towards her , I knew it. I sensed it. It had been three months since she and her ex boyfriend split up , he cheated on her and she didn't forgive him. Our conversations grew after that night we all went out. We were talking more than we ever did. One night I was working late , she called saying she was alone at home and wanted me there. I refused , I couldn't leave work. I called a couple of my friends , asking them to go to her , no one answered. I left my work , went to her. We stayed up all night talking , the conversation was about my life , she wanted to know why I was the way I was. Determined and focused on making it big , told her my story. The morning came and out of nothing we kissed and than it all began , we went on for two and half months , it was beautiful , pure and euphoric. I have never had the privilege to feel such passion for someone before in my life. I was began falling for her a lot harder , I couldn't stop. In all this time she kept telling she didn't want a relation , she didn't have the courage for it after all that she went through with her ex boyfriend. She couldn't do it but she didn't want to lose me too. I never understood that , we were still together in some way. I couldn't lose her , I stunned by what she was. Beautiful person , I wanted to look after her for the longest time. Be there for her always. Durning the month of November I fell ill and I couldn't see for a week. In that time away she realised that she was getting attached to me and that scared her , she didn't want to feel the pain of separation again , she had seen enough. We met one night and she came clean , said she didn't want this anymore. She wanted to be away , but she tried one more time. But failed. I tried to one last time but nothing came of it and I let go , before saying goodbye she said , 'Right person, wrong timing' and if it's meant to be we would be together. She says I'm too valuable and precious , she needs to be complete before she can commit to me. I know that's just some form of talk , to ease the pain. It's been 4 months , I'm still struggling to get her out of my head. I can't seem to let go , we don't talk. I see her life on social media , she looks happy and it keeps me sane , I rather have her that way than living with uneasiness when she was with me. It's this pain that I'm experiencing , it won't subside. I'm tired and drained completely. I don't want to feel this way anymore but I can't even help myself. I've taken isolation as a companion. I want to recognise myself completely in the mirror , I don't see people often apart from when I'm at work. But I'm not doing well. I'm sad and I've never been this before , I don't know. I miss her, a lot. She's beautiful and I really hope she gets all she aspires for. I'm rooting for her.
goldway90 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 In all this time she kept telling she didn't want a relation , she didn't have the courage for it after all that she went through with her ex boyfriend. She couldn't do it but she didn't want to lose me too Don't ignore the red flags! She says I'm too valuable and precious , she needs to be complete before she can commit to me Load of crap right there, she doesn't see you as boyfriend material that's the truth. Stop isolating yourself and go out, putting her on pedestal won't help your case at the end of the day she was just girl. Stop rooting for her and start rooting for yourself, enjoy life don't sit at home waiting for the pain to magically go away.
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