Author Jedimindtricks Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 no he does not make balloon animals!! i have no idea why they were in the car or how long they were in the car.. 1
JamesM Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Better not to tell him you found them at this point. Periodically count them and see if there is less. Watch for evidence of anything else that might indicate escort activity. If you mention them, then he will have a reason for them, and they will disappear. Having said all that, the bottom line here is: do you trust him? And if the answer is no, then the followup question is: why are you staying with him? If the answer is yes, then why are you wondering about the condoms?
PinkPampies Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Most often, the simplest explanation is the most true... He has the condoms because he's using them on other women. If you confront him, he's going to lie and say they're from a long time ago. You'll go crazy KNOWING what you KNOW and him denying it until you catch him in the act. Went through this with my ex husband. Same scenario. He was of course cheating but I had to catch him in the act until he would fess up. Get rid of this guy. You deserve better and he's putting your health at risk. 1
JamesM Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Get rid of this guy. You deserve better and he's putting your health at risk. While based on the info given, I agree, I think that Jedi may face some regrets if she leaves without knowing for sure. The evidence seems to point that way, but if you leave and then find out there is another explanation that is the truth, then you will regret it. This may be the conclusion you reach, but IMO you may want to gather more evidence to support it or not support for your own well being.
Author Jedimindtricks Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 until i check his car again i won't mention condoms...and he travels Sat until next Thurs...and once when entertaining business associates in latin america..they went to brothel where he phoned and text me from..saying he would not do anything to compromise us...while his one co worker was getting nasty every chance he got...so he says when he has gf or wife he would never
gorf Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) yes the March event makes me question him...and many other things. What exactly is there to question? He slept with someone else while dating you. He had a box of protection in the car, opened and and some missing He had 4 in his desk recently.. now gone. What more do you need to know? Really where you are going wrong is seeing these condoms, seeing them disappear, knowing his past, and saying NOTHING. Next time you see something, confront him. Dont let "evidence build up" because you will never have enough to counteract his lies. Just tell him next chance that you notices several things, tell him exactly what you saw, and demand an answer. If he is NOT sleeping with another woman, he will give you a good answer and wont hesitate. Right now all you have created for yourself is suspicion that will drive you nuts just waiting for him to 'do his thing.' When will that be? This week, this month? If you say nothing, your quality of life is dropping on his behalf and for how long? Btw, checking expiration isnt going to do much other than giving you a ballpark. I mean a date wayyy off. Other than that, it will depend where he bought them. CVS vs some hole in the wall liquor store, the dates can vary depending how long the clerk keeps them on the shelf or how popular the store is. You get the picture. Just a note Edited March 8, 2017 by gorf
BaileyB Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 he used to have an Instagram page full of hot woman... our sex life is not bad...but he is not affectionate like me...and he has not been that interested...if i touch him he would not get the hint unless he starts...he said his libido may be low... he slept with escort in Brazil...and later i found out...he asked to be exclusive in March after this trip... i looked in his phone and found lots of Instagram messages to girls and correspondence to ex gf and the escort...the escort was also a transgender girl..had full operation... So, we have a guy who is not very interested in sex with you but likes to collect pictures of hot women, has cheated on you before with a (transgender) prostitute, continues to communicate with his ex, and has disappearing condoms in his car and/or desk. So, why do you stay with this guy? I'm curious, because I would have been gone a long time ago... and my first stop would have been the doctor to be tested for STDs. Yikes! 3
KBob Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 until i check his car again i won't mention condoms...and he travels Sat until next Thurs...and once when entertaining business associates in latin america..they went to brothel where he phoned and text me from..saying he would not do anything to compromise us...while his one co worker was getting nasty every chance he got...so he says when he has gf or wife he would never He went with his friend to the brothel? I'm sorry, but if my friend wanted to go to a brothel and I was in a relationship I'd say "have fun, I'll meet up with you later". A man with a history of sleeping with prostitutes wouldn't go to a brothel just to hang out. 1
angel.eyes Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) The evidence seems to point that way, but if you leave and then find out there is another explanation that is the truth, then you will regret it. Hmmm...other explanations. Let's see what we have so far... A guy who admits to a recent history of using prostitutes (within the last year), including T-girls, while dating the OP.Constantly on business trips. Calls the OP from a brothel while he is purportedly dating the OP exclusively. Mentions that his business associates are getting down and nasty with the local women there, but claims he isn't doing "anything" to jeopardize their relationship.Has zero interest in the OP because he claims he has a low libido, and when they do get together, never uses condoms with her....but oh gee, has a semi-used box of condoms in his car and elsewhere... What other reasons might there be for a partially used box of condoms in this guy's glove compartment? My money is on picking up prostitutes in his car for quickies, not props for a sex ed course he's giving the local boy scout troop or whatever drivel he might come up with when the OP finally asks him. OP, he knows he's cheating. You don't have to convince him of what he knows he's doing. The only question is what additional evidence do you need to convince yourself he's cheating? An incurable STI? The t-girl's hormone prescription in the box of condoms? A strange woman's used panties on the passenger seat? Catching him in the act with a random? For me there was enough back in February 2016 to walk away. Figure out what it will take for you to stop wasting your time on him and this farce. If you don't, you'll be treading water in the same spot another year from now. Edited March 8, 2017 by angel.eyes
JamesM Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 Hmmm...other explanations. Let's see what we have so far... A guy who admits to a recent history of using prostitutes (within the last year), including T-girls, while dating the OP.Constantly on business trips. Calls the OP from a brothel while he is purportedly dating the OP exclusively. Mentions that his business associates are getting down and nasty with the local women there, but claims he isn't doing "anything" to jeopardize their relationship.Has zero interest in the OP because he claims he has a low libido, and when they do get together, never uses condoms with her....but oh gee, has a semi-used box of condoms in his car and elsewhere... Actually, I am not disagreeing with you at all. First off, we have a box of condoms found in the glove box. It is missing four. Four are found in his desk. Could they be the same? Later they are missing. Second, he saw an escort in February when Jedi and him first dated. If I read correctly, this was a T girl. If I read correctly this was the only escort he saw. Not plural. Third, calling from a brothel may be incriminating but why call if you actually are doing something unless you are afraid the other guys will say something? And did he call from inside or outside? Big difference. Fourth, being on business trips may give him an opportunity but it is not by itself cheating. Fifth, the low libido. Assuming he is into prostitutes which I did earlier, then it would be explained by his need for variety. If it was from a medical reason or a psychological reason, then I would have to believe he would have given an excuse and an explanation beyond not having interest in sex. What other reasons might there be for a partially used box of condoms in this guy's glove compartment? Good question. "I have it there for a friend." My money is on picking up prostitutes in his car for quickies, not props for a sex ed course he's giving the local boy scout troop or whatever drivel he might come up with when the OP finally asks him. A possibility. But my guess is that if he picked up SWs, then he would be getting BJs without protection. Not good. He could be using them to see guys off Craigs List (since he liked the T Girl). He could be using them in his pants when he goes to strip clubs. (You figure it out). He could be planning on using them for anything, but nothing that is good. Why keep them in a car unless you will use them when traveling or while in the car or when you go somewhere? If for some odd reason, they were for with Jedi, then the desk would make sense, but they don't use them. OP, he knows he's cheating. Actually, she knows he met an escort prior to them dating. Beyond that it is not known. While (as I said before) the evidence is "damning," it would be classified as circumstantial. Again, if I read correctly, the T girl is from February. Having said all that, it is very suspect. For me there was enough back in February 2016 to walk away. Agree. As I look at it now, I would have to agree. While there may be another explanation for the box of condoms, you are dating him. This is not marriage. And if he says he is exclusive and yet he is talking to girls in a manner that is suspect over Instagram, then that alone is enough to say walk away before getting in any deeper. If it was only a box of condoms and nothing else, then an explanation could be found that is reasonable, but with the August discoveries and the escort visit and the call from the brothel...well, there is too much circumstantial evidence IMO. Each may be explained away if each was the only thing, but add them together, and this may be a guy who is not ready to settle down or who has a sex addiction or who simply does not value women. None are good. Dating is about discovering who someone is with your eyes wide open. You have seen enough IMO. Consider walking away without alot of conversation.
Author Jedimindtricks Posted March 8, 2017 Author Posted March 8, 2017 all feedback is helpful...thank you
preraph Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 they could have been there for 5 years or something. I will say if you want him using condoms with you if you aren't using other birth control or are afraid of disease from him, this is the perfect opportunity to make him do so.
dumbass2 Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 "Hey honey. I was looking for something in your car the other day and came across a box of condoms. Great timing because I was wanting to tell you that I'd like you to wear a condom from now on and I'm happy to see you're on the same page"
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