ashy555 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 About two weeks ago I met someone online. He contacted me and was really interested. I was away when I came in close proximity to him so he lives in a small country town about 2 hours away. I am 26 and he is 29. He was planning to come down to my city this coming weekend to meet me. Last weekend he asked me what I am looking for online. I thought WOW... no man has ever asked me this, I have always had to do the asking and they always flaked around the topic. I told him exactly what I wanted and he said he is looking for a relationship, hopefully a serious relationship. We both loved camping. We both had the same ultimate dream of travelling around Australia in a 4wd. We both loved the same tv shows and books. He added me on snapchat. He basically said a few things. He said he can't wait to date me because he couldn't believe how gorgeous I was and how we had so much in common. All things I kind of took with a grain of salt as it was a bit full on. I was flattered nonetheless. He would message me each morning. Ask what I was having for dinner etc. He would reply straight away. It kinda felt nice there were no games and he was so honest. I kind of thought this constant messaging can't go on though. I am always happy to go a few days without any contact every now and then as I get quite busy myself. Last Thursday was the last I heard from him. He just stopped replying that night out of nowhere and now its Tuesday. Usually I would expect this from someone after a 1st date as he may not be interested. He didn't even meet me. I kind of took on the idea that if a man is interested he will make it known. I get told that all the time. I still don't know if I am seeing him this weekend. Everyone is kind of telling me to wait for him to message, if not move on. I have been OLD for a while so I know not to get too far ahead of myself as we all know it can fall into a heap within seconds ... Maybe he is waiting for me to contact him? Just wondering what your thoughts are? Im heading more towards just leaving it.. I mean... everyone seems to be a flake online. They want to meet but when it comes to it they chicken out. I can now sense red flags easier now and move onto the next pretty quick. I am definitely learning. This one kinda has me stumped though.
Erik30 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 (edited) Maybe he met someone else, or his ex came back, or he just lost interest for some reason. That's the problem with OLD, you're pretty disposable to some people and a lot of them tend to ghost. Even when you think you kinda know someone it can happen. If you sent the last message, and it was a question he never replied to, you probably shouldn't contact him. "Wait" till you hear from him, and talk to other guys Edited March 7, 2017 by Erik30 1
Imajerk17 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 (edited) Yes indeed, these situations are confusing and frustrating. Typically though, the stronger someone comes on (especially in a situation such as this when you haven't even met in person yet), the more likely they are to flake out. There have been quite a few threads written on here infact, about someone coming on really strong, only to back away completely. It's something on their end, so I wouldn't blame yourself. Edited March 7, 2017 by Imajerk17 1
dumbass2 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 He could have met someone closer to him, you just never know or something in his life (nothing to do with women) could have come up. I would ask him tonight if you two are still on for this Saturday and leave it at that. That simple. If he doesn't get back within a few days, then you have plans.
Author ashy555 Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 Yeah it is very bizarre and quite annoying. I was a bit skeptical as he did come on a little strong. Nothing too out of the ordinary though. He just said a few times how 'gorgeous' he thought I was. Its flattering but yeah.. If im so damn gorgeous why don't you meet up with me. Lol That morning he was just sitting in bed messaging me his thoughts as we both set our alarms earlier so we can keep snoozing. We had a funny conversation. I'd feel more rejected if he stopped talking after we went on a date. So it could be a good thing. Just frustrating as hell as he hasn't even met me yet he was so 'keen'!!
SevenCity Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 In my thread people say this isn't flaking. Sounds like flaking to me. Why do people do this? I think they are inconsiderate jerks. It doesn't take but a minute to say you're not interested or you can't, something vcsme up, etc. but on OLD people have a low investment. Though I would be cautious of all the love bombing at first and getting so involved with your life before you have even met. I don't think that screams "normal". I used to get excited with OLD but I no longer do. If people would show some common courtesy it would be a much better planet. Unfortunately, people only care about themselves for the most part.
act00 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 The distance would be an issue for me, and it seems like a lot of guys are all gung-ho until it really sinks in, the time and travel it would require to actually see each other. "It's not far," they say. Yes. Yes it is far. I run into the same thing with OLD, and all seems well and then they're gone. I guess the big question is if you should forgo any other plans for the weekend, "just in case," as he is, after all, coming in from out of town, but that could leave you with no plans when he fails to show. I don't usually have a lot going on, but I have declined other plans on a few occasions due to planning to meet some dude, only to be blown off, and that pisses me off, and it hurts. You're in this position now, and I have no answers for you. One thing about men who "live" far away is they could so easily be scammers. They're unavailable, it's hard to meet, they're busy, they won't talk on the phone, and they drop out just before a major plan to meet. Tread with caution.
TheTraveler Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 The distance would be an issue for me, and it seems like a lot of guys are all gung-ho until it really sinks in, the time and travel it would require to actually see each other. "It's not far," they say. Yes. Yes it is far. Like you said, it maybe sunk in or possibly he met someone closer. I remember on my last drive home after meeting someone who was 1.5 hours away that this isn't worth it. It's just not worth the time and energy when I can meet someone closer. While 1.5 hours isn't considered a LDR, it kinda is. You cannot meet on a whim for snow cones. These are the ones I add on snap(others too). You did add him, you can easily send a pic with message and know when he reads it. Snap and text is my one two combo with communicating and getting a hold of me. OP, just send a snap and find out rather than sit in limbo. I would definitely make plans moving forward without him
Author ashy555 Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 Thanks for your replies guys! I ended up sending a generic snap and got no reply. Lol just a complete 180.
TheTraveler Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Thanks for your replies guys! I ended up sending a generic snap and got no reply. Lol just a complete 180. If the snap was opened and no reply, you have an answer. If the snap was sent and wasn't open, you know the answer. GL moving forward 1
Author ashy555 Posted March 8, 2017 Author Posted March 8, 2017 yep... Moving forward It was a generic snap. Sent it to a few people. Just wanted to gauge whether he would reply like he used too. He didn't so I am already feeling like a small weight has been lifted. He'll contact before Saturday if he is interested but I have planned a few things already so its not getting in the way of anything. Disappointing but I am getting used to this kind of thing 1
Recommended Posts