CaliforniaGirl Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 I think instead of reading something in a picture you should simply ask the person. It's also a good conversation starter. Yup! There ya go! Simple.
Author Larryville Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 why all this would bother you so much Cali this is why I hate texting. If I had put a smiley face or a confused funny face after the word "confused" you may have understood. I did not mean I was “confused” or frustrated. I started the thread based on a conversation I had with a number of friends last weekend y’all need to go back and read the initial thread. I’m not losing my freaking mind over the state of the world, just presenting a “theory” LOL! Does that help? There are likely a million comments from dudes "frustrated" over the state of OLD. Are their concerns "stupid" or overblown, or illogical, or unreasonable? 1
anduina Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 why all this would bother you so much Cali this is why I hate texting. If I had put a smiley face or a confused funny face after the word "confused" you may have understood. I did not mean I was “confused” or frustrated. I started the thread based on a conversation I had with a number of friends last weekend y’all need to go back and read the initial thread. I’m not losing my freaking mind over the state of the world, just presenting a “theory” LOL! Does that help? There are likely a million comments from dudes "frustrated" over the state of OLD. Are their concerns "stupid" or overblown, or illogical, or unreasonable?Likely because people are refuting your attempt to psychoanalyze profiles since no one enjoys being judged. Since you appear to be taken aback by returning judgments, you should be able to understand this.
Author Larryville Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 Likely because people are refuting your attempt to psychoanalyze profiles since no one enjoys being judged I get it I don't mind being challenged on my opinions or "judgements" just people are assuming that I'm about the jump of the Golden Gate! Lord:lmao:
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 why all this would bother you so much Cali this is why I hate texting. If I had put a smiley face or a confused funny face after the word "confused" you may have understood. I did not mean I was “confused” or frustrated. I started the thread based on a conversation I had with a number of friends last weekend y’all need to go back and read the initial thread. I’m not losing my freaking mind over the state of the world, just presenting a “theory” LOL! Does that help? There are likely a million comments from dudes "frustrated" over the state of OLD. Are their concerns "stupid" or overblown, or illogical, or unreasonable? Well, for one thing, I definitely didn't call your complaints stupid. However, YES, sometimes we (all of us, every person...nobody is really immune) lash out in odd ways when we're frustrated. We might, for example, criticize others for specific reasons when really, we're just frustrated in general that we can't seem to get what we want. In that case, yes, it only makes sense to answer that...doesn't it? You asked for input...particularly from a psychology POV...and I gave mine.
NuevoYorko Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 It's called preferences and each of us are entitled to ours. I agree completely. I only take exception to the OP placing condescending judgements on people simply because they take pictures with other people in them, share bible verses, have a life changing event, etc. This thread is entitled "The psychology behind someone's OLD profile picture." I think that the psychoanalysis here is pretty farfetched. People with friends in their profile pictures are probably not any more likely to be superficial than a person with dozens of selfies. 3
NuevoYorko Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 If you post pics of partying and drinking and “you are having fun 24/7” are you saying I want to attract a party guy? OR are you simply saying I like to party and go out so that is the kind of guy I want. What is the difference between these two things? All mainstays on OLD sites, their pictures… body shots of them in bikinis from the neck down, or bare leg shots. Tons of pictures of them drinking, and taking pictures of their wine glasses. Pics with them in fancy cars or motorcycles (NOT THEIRS) not even anybody they know. Pictures of their shoes WTF!? And pictures of groups of happy girlfriends night out, hugging, kissing each other in a big party environment. These women have few friends, in fact they generally hate women. Two of the examples I am thinking about live with other people (they rent a room in someone’s house). They don’t have careers, are generally broke one does not even have a driver’s license and she is 55! Hm. Maybe you need to clear up your friend list. The FB friends I have who post a lot of pictures of themselves doing what they think is fun are just that - displaying what they think is fun. You seem to be projecting the creppiness of some sociable party types onto all of them. That's an unfair and really quite ignorant generalization. That's why I picked on your thread; not because I disagree with you having preferences. Personally, I am not into the party life anymore and would not be compatible with a woman who is. The difference between where you and I are coming from is that I would stop at: "Looks like she likes to party a lot; not for me." 1
bluefeather Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Cali this is why I hate texting. Haha. Totally feel and agree with that. Larryville, I've been following this thread because to me, it's pretty interesting. I didn't see anything judgmental in your posts. But it seems like some did. This is a reason why I don't talk a lot, or if I do, I sometimes try to speak succinctly. That also means I tend to stay away from making counter-points if someone hugely misunderstands me, because it would take a crap load of my time to explain (and there are usually better things to do than using a keyboard to try to get someone to understand my view). To respond to your thread, though, I think you can find psychology in everything if you look hard enough - yes, from the pictures they choose, and also their expressions, whether they look in the camera or pose as if looking away, and also their writing style. But to counter that, your psychology of it could be way off, so you gotta be careful how you read people. As an example: I'm not into OLD, but rather photography. There are tons of interesting insights when one studies avatar pictures. What about the absence of one? Does it mean that I am insecure? Does it mean that I don't want to be noticed? Or does it mean that I'm lazy? Or indecisive? Or maybe I noticed that most people like using avatars, and I am rebellious... There are a lot of different ways to look at things, as you see here as posts by different people are really changing the direction of this thread. 2
Author Larryville Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 The difference between where you and I are coming from is that I would stop at: "Looks like she likes to party a lot; not for me." NY who says I don't? To respond to your thread, though, I think you can find psychology in everything if you look hard enough Blue you are right. This particular site is full of armchair psychologist they just don't call themselves that these are people formulating opinions and giving advice based on their own opinions and experiences. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have formed my opinions based on my interaction of years using online dating I didn't say I was right I'm just throwing out a hypothesis. If this were a political discussion and I said socialism is bad capitalism is good somebody would tell me that I'm crazy and ignorant because I don't understand the good qualities of socialism. We are all throwing out our opinions and Analysis based on our own experiences. However I seem to have hit a nerve and people want to make this personal and it's not personal at all. 1
bluefeather Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 However I seem to have hit a nerve and people want to make this personal and it's not personal at all. I think you're going about it well enough. Hopefully, the discussion continues and more insightful posts can be made, rather than accusatory ones, which are boring to read, imo, and eventually skimmed over
anduina Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Blue you are right. This particular site is full of armchair psychologist they just don't call themselves that these are people formulating opinions and giving advice based on their own opinions and experiences. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have formed my opinions based on my interaction of years using online dating I didn't say I was right I'm just throwing out a hypothesis. If this were a political discussion and I said socialism is bad capitalism is good somebody would tell me that I'm crazy and ignorant because I don't understand the good qualities of socialism. We are all throwing out our opinions and Analysis based on our own experiences. However I seem to have hit a nerve and people want to make this personal and it's not personal at all.People are refuting your hypotheses which if they're hypotheses, so many exceptions should force you to rework your hypotheses. With people, the end result might look the same but there's often a fan of possible underlying reasons. This is the problem with oversimplification, particularly since you can't accurately psychoanalyze anyone from a few pics. An old cliche would be applicable, that of not judging a book by its cover.
Author Larryville Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 People are refuting your hypotheses which if they're hypotheses, so many exceptions should force you to rework your hypotheses. And: nobody is refuting anything... it's been turned into I have a beef with all women's profiles on online dating. I have very strong opinions regarding online dating. And while I personally have had some frustrations with it generally if you read a past post I said overall I haven't had a problem with online dating and yes part of that is due to my particular approach to it. There are thousands of articles that talked about this particular topic. So it's not like I completely pull it out of left field. Of the thousands of post that I have commented on this site I don't think I've ever specifically challenge someone's individual points or opinions insights on a topic. Odd but oh well:D better understanding thru emojis;)
Author Larryville Posted March 7, 2017 Author Posted March 7, 2017 Oh and on that thing about not judging a book by it's cover well okay I seriously disagree with that but hey that's just my opinion
WaitingForBardot Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) Your are not overthinking, in fact you can take it to another level. I'm not into OLD, but rather photography. There are tons of interesting insights when one studies avatar pictures. Uh oh... ..lol.. I never really thought much about the psychology of picture choices. I just look at them to see what people look like. Edited March 8, 2017 by WaitingForBardot
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 @Larryville. Look, profile pics are what they are and THEY DO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT the person. Some more revealing than others. I would let the issue go as has digressed a bit from your original intent. I didn't help in my earlier posts, but yes, you are correct when you say that the pictures that people put up do tell some story.
Popsicle Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 The automatic pass for me is no body shot and too many photos of them doing mud runs or working out. I want someone fairly fit, but not obsessed with it. Totally! As a woman, I would automatically pass on a guy with no full body pic too, but I would also pass on a guy with tons of pics of him working out or flexing in the mirror. One fully clothed full body pic is enough! 1
CptInsano Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 Uh oh... ..lol.. I never really thought much about the psychology of picture choices. I just look at them to see what people look like. It's not only the psychology. I've seen studies on the EXIF data, the embedded tags in the picture itself. If you cross-reference them with photo rating sites, you get an idea of what type of photography is appealing. The results weren't all that surprising, SLRs without flash, indicating outdoor or studio photography, were clearly in the lead. One more note on EXIF data: Please turn of your location services if you are taking profile pictures with a smartphone.
elaine567 Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 I have always said to myself that if I see profile pictures of women with other people in the picture no matter who it was or the reason I automatically bypass, so did my friends, so I was wondering is that mindset the norm? I think it depends on what YOU are looking for. I guess you and your friends are older and I think that the older people get the less they want to be with someone who has a gaggle of friends, a party lifestyle or a sport/pastime/hobby that takes up most of their time. They want a companion, someone to be with, someone to spend time with and many learn that a partner with loads of friends frequently means trouble with a capital T. OMG there he is with his golfing buddies... Ok so that means golf every weekend, golfing holidays, thousands spent on golfing stuff, late nights in the golf club, golfing talk ad infinitum... never at home. Pass.
Author Larryville Posted March 8, 2017 Author Posted March 8, 2017 I think it depends on what YOU are looking for. Elane that was the crux of the thread. Basically when people upload pics is there a meaning behind why you upload certain pics (you want a certain type of person to get a message from the pic beyond simple attractiveness), or do you just post whatever is available. If you browse a certain profile do people go beyond whether or not the individual is attractive, would certain types of pictures draw your interest or turn you off. We all judge, every day when we approach people, or meet people in person we all micro-process everything about someone as much as we can. I get that I over-analyze, I see much more than just the individual in the photo, I just started the thread to see who else does it. I can’t be the only one. Ok so that means golf every weekend, golfing holidays, thousands spent on golfing stuff, late nights in the golf club, golfing talk ad infinitum... never at home. EXACTLY! So if a guys posts a picture of him with his golfing buddies, did he upload the picture to say... "I'm looking for a woman who likes golf" or "I'm looking for a woman who will tolerate my love of golf"
Gaeta Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 EXACTLY! So if a guys posts a picture of him with his golfing buddies, did he upload the picture to say... "I'm looking for a woman who likes golf" or "I'm looking for a woman who will tolerate my love of golf" I guess she'll have to ask him, right. Why assume anything. Why not just ask? What is wrong with asking? Maybe he'll say he doesn't really play golf, those are pictures of a work tournament he had no choice to attend. It's a serious question Larry, why do you want to guess or assume anything just by looking at a profile? 1
Author Larryville Posted March 8, 2017 Author Posted March 8, 2017 It's a serious question Larry, why do you want to guess or assume anything just by looking at a profile? G: All I was asking in the thread is do other people process things about a photo like I do? This is not about me or “my way” To answer your particular question, if she turned out to be someone (based on the other information in her profile) and we get to chatting I may just ask. However what I will say is (IMHO) OLD is hard enough, I don’t want to waste my time trying to pursue someone that has characteristics that may not be favorable to ME. In the almost 6 years I’ve been single I said I have met 70-80 that frankly is not that many IDK. The fact that I over analyze stuff does that mean it could have cost me from meeting Ms. Right because I in essence “judged a book by its cover” I’ll concede that you might be right. IDK. Y’all keep focusing on me. I just asked a question, basically are there over thinkers like me out there? Those who participate in OLD do YOU judge a book by its cover" and again I mean going beyond the looks of the person. OR if you are a woman and you say to me, no L I just post pics because I look good in them. I'm just posing the question. If guys replied and said no L if she is hot I'm gonna message her, I don't care that she is standing in front of a dumpster in a nasty alley.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 Y’all keep focusing on me. LOL...welcome to the club. As soon as you start to analyze online dating profiles, you'll get criticized for doing so on here. When you're really just trying to make a point.
NuevoYorko Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 LOL...welcome to the club. As soon as you start to analyze online dating profiles, you'll get criticized for doing so on here. When you're really just trying to make a point. Negatively criticizing strangers who you are never going to meet, in minute detail, is viewed as odd by some people (like me) and we're likely to express it in threads devoted to it. I understand it's sort of a hobby for a few of you. 1
curiouslysearching Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I skip over profiles where the main picture is them with someone else, too. The main pic should be a solo shot so I don't have to figure out who you are, if that woman is your daughter/ex/whatever. Ruby, you and your slippers are nothing short of amazing...you have an incredible outlook and perspective on life as a whole
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