The psychology behind someone’s OLD profile picture...

[CaliforniaGirl]

This is pretty good. Can I borrow your pet?

 

Pets are a GREAT idea.

 

I always tell my husband that if I kick off before he does, he should get a puppy. Make sure it's a girl puppy...name it something cute, like Molly or something...or Pepper...walk it in the park among the hotties and when one bends to pet the cute puppy he should say, brokenly..."Yes, this is Pepper...my little sweetie...ever since my wife passed...well...she's been my comfort..." (trembling smile falls; tears well)

 

I tell him the panties will be dropping within seconds and he'll close that substitute laundry-washer within the month.

[Lorenza]

This is pretty good. Can I borrow your pet?

 

Yes, you can borrow my cat and even my guitar or piano, then don't forget to borrow someone's child (try to look cute and fatherly) and you'll be all set for online dating

[Kellens]

When I was online dating, if a guy had nothing but group shots, I would assume that he was a party guy and wouldn't really be interested. If there were one or two group shots, that wouldn't be a problem for me as long as I was able to see a couple of him alone.

 

I was one of those women who only had a few pictures, only 3, because I generally don't take pictures of myself alone. One of my pictures had another person in them but it was a close up shot. I feel awkward taking selfies and I'm not a picture person, which didn't go over well with guys who asked me to send them new pictures. I figured that my few pics showed that I was attractive and my general body type so what else did they need to see? Everyone's needs are different though. Some people are just photogenic so you won't know for sure until you meet them in person, the amount of pic doesn't matter.

[mushroomlol]

I always pass the guys if they have a picture of him and another girl/other girls in their profile. And those girls are usually pretty good looking. That actually really confuses me! Why would you put a picture of you and another girl on your online dating profile? Is that like the standard of the girl that you are looking for? If anyone is not as attractive as that girl they should swipe right?

[CaliforniaGirl]

I always pass the guys if they have a picture of him and another girl/other girls in their profile. And those girls are usually pretty good looking. That actually really confuses me! Why would you put a picture of you and another girl on your online dating profile? Is that like the standard of the girl that you are looking for? If anyone is not as attractive as that girl they should swipe right?

 

I think this is different - a person with a boy/girlfriend in the picture (or a person surrounded by several members of the opposite sex). That I kind of do find weird - as if the person is trying to enforce and use social proof or something.

 

Another turnoff: obviously cut-out ex (the arm remains or whatever).

 

But just group shots of friends? First of all, I don't remember ever seeing ONLY these in a given profile, which is the assertion here...so I can't comment on that. I have to think that's the minority. Second of all, many of us look and/or are at our best at group activities. To me it only makes sense to show yourself doing what you love, looking/feeling great, enjoying and so on. I just can't see what the fuss is here.

[smackie9]

Good point. There's also the 5,6, or 7 photos of them not smiling, dead eyes...basically the deadpan look in ALL their photos that causes me to pass them by.

 

Looks like they got a chip on their shoulder.

Or they have horrible teeth. A friend of mine years ago showed me a guy's profile after she went out on a date with him....he looked ok but he didn't smile in the photos...for good reason! She told me he had teeth missing and what was there was a horrible mess lol.

[TheTraveler]

Yes, you can borrow my cat and even my guitar or piano, then don't forget to borrow someone's child (try to look cute and fatherly) and you'll be all set for online dating

 

I love cats. Can I smash the guitar in the photo? I'll skip the photo with a child since I don't have any kids

 

[Larryville]

Larry: Stay open minded. Not everyone is online-dating-savy and know a group picture might be a turn off.

 

I will admit, I had to ask myself am I open minded? LOL!

 

G I guess for me the bottom line is (women do the choosing). Heck many of the women I overlook would have not chosen me to begin with….

 

Maybe this is a function of having done online dating for so long, I can process so much from a person’s profile, what they say or don’t say, what someone hides, what they reveal.

 

I guess my question is how “fake or phony” is what you see on an OLD profile.

 

I live in Kansas, so if I see someone talking so much about how they like to go to the beach I say to myself “so when do you get a chance to go to the beach?”

 

If I see someone drinking in pictures, what are they trying to tell me? Drinking is not necessarily "fun"

 

As VeVe said a dude holding a freaking fish in a profile pic, what does that mean? I like to fish but I sure as hell won’t have a picture of me with a fish! While I love fishing that is so not my personality.

 

I guess I kinda of look at this like I view Facebook profiles. When women post countless selfies or pics with them having “fun” something is up. Or if they post some religious sayings or inspirational quote some major life changing event has taken place. It is window dressing and a distraction of what the real issues are. I also call it masking.

 

So with profiles if I see something in their profiles like “I walk with God…” or “I am a strong Christian” and have profile pics with the “my space selfie” attempting to highlight their chest to me that has nothing to do with being “online dating savy” it is simply a contradiction.

 

Before I posted this thread I asked myself of the women I have ever met as a result of a meet on OLD the women who were the most attractive to me were those who posted simple, clear, pics with nice surroundings, simple and tastefully done.

 

While the women were different “types” of type pictures they took were very similar.

 

Why my question, is the type of women I pick a product of how they are visually presented to me, meaning if they posted pictures that were “not visually appealing to me in terms of presentation” and not simply a product of overall attractiveness? IDK

[central]

It's fine to have a variety of pictures, some of which can include friends and family, but IMO, the main profile picture must be of just the person, and provide a good idea of what they look like. I also think it's very good to have a full body or waist up shot so as not to look like you're hiding something.

 

 

If I have to guess who you are, I guess I'll keep looking.

[anduina]

Wow, the work people put into their profiles! My old profile was a haphazard mess of a few pics that I liked of myself and some text.

[dumbass2]

When I set up an OLD profile I think like that:

 

- a profile picture which is a closeup of my face, simply a portrait;

- a picture where my body shape is visible;

- something that shows what I like to do, for example me playing the piano or strolling in nature, or singing karaoke, or in some cool travel destination;

- a picture with a pet is a must, if you have one. JMO! I think it's nice to see what comes in a package;

- then!! I include a group picture, just to show that I'm social and outgoing person. But not as a profile picture of course, I tend to avoid such too, unless it's very clear which one is the owner of the account

 

Perfect! I wish everyone on there would follow your criteria.

 

The automatic pass for me is no body shot and too many photos of them doing mud runs or working out. I want someone fairly fit, but not obsessed with it.

[Larryville]

The automatic pass for me is no body shot and too many photos of them doing mud runs or working out. I want someone fairly fit, but not obsessed with it.

 

Exactly, I don't have to have a perfect bodied skinny woman, hell I'm not perfect...

 

A profile I saw recently attractive lady who has 19 pictures of herself.

 

ALL tight shots where her head literally fill 90 percent of the picture. Some with make-up, some without, some with fancy jewelry around her neck, some with her making funny faces, the rest close shots of her and a friend.

 

Someone help me understand that 19 pictures! Not one of a full body shot yet she says in her profile she works out 3-5 times a week.

 

She has a pretty face, cool haircut, big beautiful green eyes, does not cake on make-up, has a nice sincere smile, clear skin… indicates body type is “average” is only 5’0” - so what is she hiding?

 

Confused…

[rushed]

Haha, my girlfriends and I had similar conversations regarding guys' pictures on OLD.

 

Group picture as the first picture.

Annoying. Especially if you and your friends all look alike. Unfortunate if you're not the attractive one.

 

All the pics are of the guy in some action shot.

Skiing, surfing, climbing, etc. Yeah, that's great, but I have no idea what your face looks like.

 

A pic of a couple.

Is this a polygamous couple looking for a third? Oh, that's your sister in the pic? Whatever. Weird.

 

The guy is wearing a hat or bandana in every single picture.

Yeah, okay, we know. No.

 

Every single picture is some scenery shot.

Why????

 

It's funny hearing about what women do with their profile pics. On our first date my now boyfriend breathed a sigh a relief saying that I actually look like my pictures.

[normal person]

I'm very much in agreement with you, OP. I hate having to scroll through multiple pictures to figure out which one she is. It's so inefficient. I'm also not a fan of girls who have their faces obscured with sunglasses, hands, etc. With OLD you're basically advertising yourself with your face first, that's the thing most people are going to use to decide whether or not they want to see more of you, so why on Earth would someone complicate the process and make it harder for someone else to see them? It advertises the fact that they can't step outside themselves for a moment and see how other people are going to feel looking at their profile. It's just poor judgment.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I recently saw a picture of a group of people as their main prof. pic. I assumed the middle person was my age bracket, and I have no idea who the group was about.

 

College pic? Club pic? So when I assumed the middle person was "the one", I saw her hair color was "black" , the one I thought was "the one" had blonde hair.

 

Turns out, it was as group photo and SHE wasn't even in the group photo.

 

Then there are the ones that take 7 selfies, all from the same "above the head" angle shot. Would've been better off with one picture instead of 7 since they all look the same from the same angle.

[LookAtThisPOst]

with OLD you're basically advertising yourself with your face first, that's the thing most people are going to use to decide whether or not they want to see more of you, so why on Earth would someone complicate the process and make it harder for someone else to see them?

 

Agreed...some will attempt to black mail you by saying IN their profile, "Will share photos when we message each other" meaning, "If I think you're cute, I can give you the honor of seeing the rest of me and not just part of my face in sunglasses.

 

I get a kick out of the people trying to hide their weight by innocently smiling and peaking out from behind a large oak tree or a entry way. Or...squatting down behind their dog or kid. lol

[Gr8fuln2020]

I have noticed just how incredibly different one picture of the same profile can be of another. I recall looking at pics of some very attractive women only to revisit and find new pics that made them look far less attractive. Lighting, angles and photoshop seems to be common ways to hide details. But, really, I have been rather surprised by the differences between photos as though they were two entirely different people.

 

Nothing beats a face to face, of course.

 

I've also seen some photos of ladies standing by more attractive women. I think, as one put it earlier, it's to help highlight their own visage. Not certain how that works, but I often find myself compare her to the more attractive lady. I'm rather certain that was not the intent.

 

Selfies at an angle from above, clothing that doesn't conform to the body so as to not reveal body shape, adding special/visual effects, sun-glasses, or a solitary photo all indicate the person is hiding something.

 

I try to put up pictures that cast a wide net of an idea of who I am. Sporty, athletic, business-like, casual. I prefer profiles that are varied and contain a decent profile (text). I am always uncertain of those with more 'sexy', overly-revealing pictures. I can't seem to take them seriously.

[dumbass2]

I have noticed just how incredibly different one picture of the same profile can be of another. I recall looking at pics of some very attractive women only to revisit and find new pics that made them look far less attractive. Lighting, angles and photoshop seems to be common ways to hide details. But, really, I have been rather surprised by the differences between photos as though they were two entirely different people.

 

Nothing beats a face to face, of course.

 

I've also seen some photos of ladies standing by more attractive women. I think, as one put it earlier, it's to help highlight their own visage. Not certain how that works, but I often find myself compare her to the more attractive lady. I'm rather certain that was not the intent.

 

Selfies at an angle from above, clothing that doesn't conform to the body so as to not reveal body shape, adding special/visual effects, sun-glasses, or a solitary photo all indicate the person is hiding something.

 

I try to put up pictures that cast a wide net of an idea of who I am. Sporty, athletic, business-like, casual. I prefer profiles that are varied and contain a decent profile (text). I am always uncertain of those with more 'sexy', overly-revealing pictures. I can't seem to take them seriously.

 

Yep, I know it happened more than a couple of times where I clicked on someone because of the main photo was cute and once I started looking at the others, her main photo had to be from years ago. Someone even had her college graduation photo from 20 years ago as her main photo. 40's is the age bracket I'm looking at and a lot can happen (both men and women) just within 6 months. I have been off it for a while now. So damn depressing meeting for a first date and seeing that the person did not represent themselves well at all. I have a much better understanding of what I should expect for someone who uses the body type "average" and "curvy" once over 40. I know this stuff can go the same way for women with men on there.

[angel.eyes]

Another turnoff: obviously cut-out ex (the arm remains or whatever).

:lmao: Yes, dismembered body parts of exes floating about the OLD person's body are always a special treat!:lmao:

 

My personal favorite on OLD was a guy who had taken a black marker and sloppily blacked out his ex in their wedding picture that was clearly a couple of decades old. Part of her veil and white dress, her manicured fingernails in his hands, etc. were all still visible. That was his only photo.

 

I just kept it moving.

[Larryville]

I have a much better understanding of what I should expect for someone who uses the body type "average" and "curvy" once over 40.

 

The other side of this issue which is something that I did not convey earlier is the fact that what one person decides is "curvy" versus "average" varies.

 

There are individuals on this site from different backgrounds different cultures and of course different countries so what would be acceptable for one man here in the United States may not be acceptable at all in parts of Europe. Curvy to one person is fat for another and obese for even another.

 

For me I absolutely don't care anything about how much a woman weighs what's more important to me is how she carries herself and whether or not she likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror.

 

Does her hair look nice, does she wear clothes that conform to her body type, is her style up to date. That's what an online dating photo picture is going to convey to me at least.

 

That is what I mean when I said earlier I don't need to have 20 different profile pictures of someone with a whole bunch of clutter and diversions.

 

Being deceptive is a bigger societal issue whether that means lying on your resume cheating on a college exam or online dating.

[Gr8fuln2020]

The other side of this issue which is something that I did not convey earlier is the fact that what one person decides is "curvy" versus "average" varies.

 

There are individuals on this site from different backgrounds different cultures and of course different countries so what would be acceptable for one man here in the United States may not be acceptable at all in parts of Europe. Curvy to one person is fat for another and obese for even another.

 

For me I absolutely don't care anything about how much a woman weighs what's more important to me is how she carries herself and whether or not she likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror.

 

Does her hair look nice, does she wear clothes that conform to her body type, is her style up to date. That's what an online dating photo picture is going to convey to me at least.

 

That is what I mean when I said earlier I don't need to have 20 different profile pictures of someone with a whole bunch of clutter and diversions.

 

Being deceptive is a bigger societal issue whether that means lying on your resume cheating on a college exam or online dating.

 

Of course, but some of us are very athletic and toned looking for the same. The way we view physique today is very different from a few decades ago. Today's average is yesterday's over-weight, I feel. I met a woman who had gorgeous face pics and a couple of 'iffy' body pics. A very active lifestyle is very important to me. Anyway, I took the chance and met her. BTW, she also had 'athletic' as her body type. It turns out she was NOT athletic, rather, she explained, she enjoyed engaging in athletic-type activities (when she could), etc. It was clear that healthy living was a recent, sporadic endeavor and not something she fully embraced. Oh well.

[CaliforniaGirl]

The other side of this issue which is something that I did not convey earlier is the fact that what one person decides is "curvy" versus "average" varies.

 

There are individuals on this site from different backgrounds different cultures and of course different countries so what would be acceptable for one man here in the United States may not be acceptable at all in parts of Europe. Curvy to one person is fat for another and obese for even another.

 

For me I absolutely don't care anything about how much a woman weighs what's more important to me is how she carries herself and whether or not she likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror.

 

Does her hair look nice, does she wear clothes that conform to her body type, is her style up to date. That's what an online dating photo picture is going to convey to me at least.

 

That is what I mean when I said earlier I don't need to have 20 different profile pictures of someone with a whole bunch of clutter and diversions.

 

Being deceptive is a bigger societal issue whether that means lying on your resume cheating on a college exam or online dating.

 

So trendy hair, trendy clothes and x amount of x type pictures are what are important to you...but that doesn't mean your way is "right," just that it's yours. Someone else will be very happy with a different way of doing things. This is what dating is all about. You pass on group photos and a clothing style you don't like, and meanwhile, other guys are passing on your personal list of must haves for online photos, and so the world turns.

[TheTraveler]

The hilarity of this topic as it related to my most recent relationship with the non-communicating dismissive avoidant just occurred to me: his primary photo on OLD was of his backside - him standing facing away from the camera, overlooking a cliff next to his vehicle. Oy.

I won't date anyone who isn't facing the camera again, haha.

 

I laughed.

 

For a period of time I had my main profile pic of me standing on a cliff overlooking a lake with the mountains in the background. You would see half of my side to back overlooking the view(plus it confirmed I had long hair i.e. manbun). Lots of questions and compliments. Maybe I should bring that photo back?

 

:D:D

Edited March 7, 2017 by TheTraveler

[angel.eyes]

As someone who adores being outdoors, that sounds like an amazing photo. Not talking about the man bun BTW...

[LookAtThisPOst]

There are individuals on this site from different backgrounds different cultures and of course different countries so what would be acceptable for one man here in the United States may not be acceptable at all in parts of Europe. Curvy to one person is fat for another and obese for even another.

 

Today's average is yesterday's over-weight,

 

Exactly!!

 

Considering there's an obesity epidemic in the states, if you take trip overseas, you'd be picking your jaws up off the floor if you traveled to other countries. I recall a guy who took a trip overseas, came back, and was floored at the amount of fat people at the airport.

 

Talk about culture shock.

 

But the thing is, fat acceptance is a thing in the states. People have embraced this as acceptable in their lives. So to them "average" is just that, but average is really overweight to obese.

 

I once saw a woman put "athletic" as her body type, and she had a double chin.

 

I don't care THAT much about looks, even emailed a few chunky women myself, only to not receive a response. OLD seems to inflate one's expectations to the unreasonable and thusly explains their long time run on these sites.

 

It's funny, because had they met me in real life, they'd have no problem dating me.

Edited March 7, 2017 by LookAtThisPOst