Tressugar Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 What timeframe should a person feel free to express their love for a person they have been dating for under three months? And is it genuine?
coolheadal Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 What timeframe should a person feel free to express their love for a person they have been dating for under three months? And is it genuine? Are you referring to yourself to say that to the one your with or are you referring the the one your with to you say that word. Rule of thumb is that there isn't any rule the women is suppose to say it first than the man. I use say it first then get that cold shoulder look! So I am wait now.. But some women and men don't know how to say the I love you instead they say I like you, stick with that statement for long time. Love you just not the same as "I love you". Again there is no set time when they would say it. When it happens you get that sparkle feeling deep down inside. 3
todreaminblue Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 Are you referring to yourself to say that to the one your with or are you referring the the one your with to you say that word. Rule of thumb is that there isn't any rule the women is suppose to say it first than the man. I use say it first then get that cold shoulder look! So I am wait now.. But some women and men don't know how to say the I love you instead they say I like you, stick with that statement for long time. Love you just not the same as "I love you". Again there is no set time when they would say it. When it happens you get that sparkle feeling deep down inside. there is so much truth to this . Love you just not the same as "I love you" its easy to say love you too its almost automatic...because its true you love them ...but personaliZing that to "I LOVE YOU" differentiates one person from all the people you say love you too....my common reply when people say love you...is to say ..love you back..i return their love.....and respect that they do....few people have ever said "i love you" to me and i have said it very few times in my life.....lol i get my fix by writing love poetry and singing i love you songs.....really loud and off key..kidding i try to sing in key...but I love you for me ...is a romantic statement...with my kids and family i tell them love you all the time...and they say love you too mum....i love you has a defined romantic context to me......so therefore it is normally just one person who will hear that from me....ok always one person at atime...dont do multiples...and dotn say it multiple times that it might lose its specialness..the impact of what those words mean to me..and whom they are about.......deb 1
Author Tressugar Posted March 6, 2017 Author Posted March 6, 2017 Wow! I didn't realize there was a difference in 'love you' vs 'I love you' until now. Thank you both for your explanations. This makes me think... 1
act00 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I think love at this early stage is a slippery slope because at this early stage, there's still a lot of excitement and infatuation. If it's truly love, it will wait. If it's not, you'll be glad you didn't say it and dodged a bullet. I would even steer clear of "love you" in a more casual sense, as this can be misconstrued. I wouldn't want a guy to say it to me due to the above. I have found that they say it, then never say it again, which causes anxiety; also, a couple months later, he didn't love you at all. There's really no "right" time, but I would want things to be more serious and outside of the newness phase first. There's no guarantee you/he didn't genuinely feel it and then fell out of love. People's feelings can change, but I think as a general rule for myself, under three months is too soon. 2
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 An ILY under 3 months doesn't mean much. It only means I am infatuated to you. You don't really know someone enough to 'love them' as in I would give my life for you 'love'. If you are not ready to give this man your left kidney than you don't love him, you are infatuated. Know the difference. 4
gaius Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I knew I loved Timshel before we even met in person. Love is love, it doesn't have a time frame or rational boundaries. Tell him whenever it feels right to you. 5
CloudyHead Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I find myself in this situation with the man I am dating. We have been casually dating since August and became exclusive in November. We've met each others families and I've spent a great deal of time with his family and friends as they are local and my family is not local. I realized over the past few weeks that I was falling in love with him. This past weekend I broached the subject of "love" with him. I told him that my feelings for him were deepening. He said he really liked me a lot. I responded that my feelings were changing to the other "L" word called "love" and that I needed to know how he felt about that and the future of our relationship. The reason I wanted to know is because I needed to rein in my feelings if he felt differently and I was at a point wherein I could rein in my feelings. 3
Author Tressugar Posted March 6, 2017 Author Posted March 6, 2017 + Cloudy Well are you guys on the same page?
CloudyHead Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Yes, we are on the same page! I have to say, at 48, I think this is the best relationship I have had in my life. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Love is too powerful to be constrained by timeframes and rules-of-thumb. Say it when you feel it. Say it when you mean it. 4
RecentChange Posted March 11, 2017 Posted March 11, 2017 My now husband said "I love you" less than three months in. It was genuine, he felt it, as did I. He said he was scared to death to tell me, but did anyway. I teared up and told him I loved him too. 15 years later, we still tell each other every day. I have never paid attention to rules, or who should say what first or when. Each individual and couple is different. What is right for some, will be wrong for others. I think there is value in being open, honest, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in a relationship. 2
CloudyHead Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 I grew up in a family where "I love you" was rarely said. I think I was 23 years old before my mom said it to me. So, for me, it is important to say it to the people I love. And, I am selective as to who I say it to. I tell my kids every morning "I love you" along with "Have a great day! Make good decisions and choices!"
Chilli Posted March 13, 2017 Posted March 13, 2017 (edited) Everyone's different l guess and l've heard of 12mths first so who knows but yep no rules. Whenever two people feel secure about each other though and know for sure, l guess that's time. My ex wife was a few days and we knew but we never said it for 5wks. Gf now , there was really weird sh2t going on with us and it was just pretty well a given from day one actually, we just knew it. But l waited about a mth , trying to be cautious haha. Told her over the phone one day when it just came out. Then there was a silence for a few minutes and l thought oh nooooo , l was completely wrong about this. But nope, all good, she just became all emotional because l'd finally said it. Edited March 13, 2017 by Chilli
Chilli Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Ps, l guess mentioning "ex" wife , doesn't sound the best but nope , it wasn't feelings that changed in 19yrs, it was life issues/
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