codelock Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I met a guy a month ago on Tinder (made it clear on my profile I'm not looking for casual sex), essentially a 2 weeks after my ex broke up with me which is bad timing. I went on 3 dates with him and invited him to hang out with my friends at a sports game as the 4th date. The first 2 dates went pretty well. He's really nice, we have similar views on life and he's never been disrespectful. Our 3rd date was on Valentine's Day and this is where things got a bit weird. He tried to escalate too much sexually. He touched my breasts directly and clearly tried very hard to come over for sex. The whole thing made me uncomfortable and I said no. By this point, I'd already invited him to the sports game with my friends so I couldn't backtrack out of it. After the 3rd date I thought, okay maybe I'm being a bit too harsh, but then he texted me asking me to take the following Friday off work to spend the whole day with him. At this stage I'd known this guy for maybe 10 days total, and also I was going on a 2 week holiday overseas the following Sunday so I felt pretty weirded out that a guy I knew for a very brief time would ask me to take a day off. So I again thought maybe I'm being harsh, maybe it was a joke. So I responded by saying "haha, all joking aside, I can't take a day off." He replies saying we should go away for the weekend together when I get back from my trip. I just told him cool, we will see how it goes after I get back. At the sports game, he tried to kiss me in front of my friends which made me feel very uncomfortable and he kind of whined about it at the end. To be fair, I had seen my ex at the game. I had NO IDEA my ex was going to be there so part of that discomfort was from seeing my ex. I went on my holiday for 2 weeks, thinking that would clear my head. I did NOT think about this guy at all the whole time. We texted when I got back and he wants to meet up but I'm not sure how to handle this. I don't want to have sex with him right now, in general, I like to take things slow sexually with a guy and if he hadn't tried touching me like that and hadn't been pressuring me to sleep at my place, I'd probably feel more comfortable spending time with him. He seems like a good guy, but the sexual advances and requsts to have a weekend away are setting off alarm bells, especially since I barely know the guy. I'm not sure if I should just tell him no, let's not meet up or give it another shot. If I give it a chance, what's the best way to communicate to him that he's moving way too fast for me? I just want to go on dates, have fun, develop an emotional bond, before getting into a relationship. I'm not ready for weekend trips or sex with a guy I've known for 10 days (not including the time I was on holiday)!!
Mkn1010 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I get the impression that he's wanting something sexual pretty swiftly, that's what Tinder is about after all! He probably thinks 4 dates is way too much time to have waited given the context of how you met! I would say, have the chat with him IF you actually think he has potential. And if so, just be honest and say what you said here and if he fades, you'll have your answer, It doesn't sound like you'll be too disappointed either way! (The fact that you didn't think about once in a two week period speaks volumes = this ain't a love match, it actually sounds like you're off-put by him).
preraph Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 He thinks if he gets you out of town, you must sleep with him. I think it's time to be honest with him and tell him that you take it slow deciding to sleep with someone and that you understand if he wants to move along.
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