Left Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Before I get to the issue, I'll give some context. We're both 19 and we've been together for almost 3 years. We built such a strong bond together and we're each other's first. We have so many good moments, experiences and were so supportive over each other. We both loved each other a LOT. We grew together and were told each other we were each other's everything, and I know she meant it because of all the things she did for me. We rarely argued and were generally incredibly happy during that time. Half a year ago she left to go to a different city for university, and I stayed in London for uni. We'd see each other every week, we'd stay over for about 2 days. We spoke so many times about staying strong through these 3 years of uni to be together. A few months into uni I told her I wanted to have a break because I felt like I was missing out on other girls.. she was devastated and didn't agree. So I said never mind, I love you and I'll stay with you. In December 2016, she told me she was deeply in love with me (she said this post break up). About 2-3 weeks after that she tells me she is out of love but still loves me, and wanted to break up. I thought she found someone else.. because no one changes their feelings like that. She claimed that she felt that way for a few weeks but hoped that the feeling would pass because she didn't want to feel that way. Anyway we broke up on the 28th of Jan and had break up sex. I went 2 weeks no contact in which she messaged me twice, ignored her, and also messaged my friends and mother to ask how I'm doing, since I was distraught and begged her to come back.. stupid me. After 2 weeks of NC I broke it off telling her I miss her because it was just too hard, we started messaging from there every other day, I got rejected like twice more. I found out from her that she went out clubbing and kissed multiple guys and I told her I ****ed a girl.. she was in shock and really mad at me even though she left. A month after the break up she told me she threw herself at everything during the last month to forget about me.. she told me she is doing whatbsingle people do to get over me like getting tinder, clubbing, etc. She told me she misses me and loves me but knows not to go back in a relationship with me. When I told her I'm seeing 3 girls and ****ed one, she stopped being cold and told me that me being completely gone from her life is a scary thought and she refused to block me on anything. She asked me what would honesty make me happy and she'd do it. She told me to be as honest as I can be, so I obviously told her that she would make me happy. She said she wishes she could.. and basically went NC again right after that, it's been one day since that. She is she playing with me? She even sent me snaps of us like a week ago saying 'we have so many snaps boo'. If she missed me so much why won't she come back? Is she stringing me along? If so, why? She also had panic attacks at night and she generally needs support, emotionally and mentally from me so I'm thinking she's trying to use me for that. When she came to London a few days ago she refused to see me in person because she 'really wanted to **** me' but knew it was a stupid idea. This was a very serious relationship and we spoke about marrying, kids, etc. She even claimed that we were engaged. She also hasn't been single for about 6 years. Could it just be that she wants to be single for a while then come back? It's obvious she lost interest in me but I think about her all the time, there's so much to say but it would turn into a law essay. What should I do? Go NC strong and ignore her messages if she messages? Or what? Do you think she'd want to come back if I went NC for like a solid month?
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 Most high school romances do not survive the transition to adulthood. Yours alas is one such tragedy. If you need NC to heal, go NC. Don't be rude if you see her but there is no need to prolong your own healing. No, you going NC will not make her want to come back. 1
CollegeKid101 Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 Went through something similar about 4 years ago. Let her go, you'll be much happier the faster you cut her off.
preraph Posted March 7, 2017 Posted March 7, 2017 You're kind of doomed at that age because usually one or both parties have not explored enough to be sure they are with the right person. They may be with the right person, but how to know if you haven't dated around much? My best advice is let each other go and don't keep tabs on each other or you'll both just be hurt by the other one dating. But maybe agree to touch base one year from now and maybe once a year to see how things stand and if there's any going back. Don't do anything to make each other mad. This is why you should not try to stay friends or follow each other's social media. Of course, what you both felt was real, but young people have the curse of having the most fun love but then outgrowing each other or feeling the need to explore. Keep your breakup tidy and vow to reconnect only after a year.
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