ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 I've met this guy halfway through January and we've been on two dates. We agreed no relationship yet, we would see how it goes. We have slept together and he used to love getting snaps off me. (He thought my thigh tattoo was really hot apparently but they weren't dirty ones) haha! But lately he hasn't really been responding back to my flirty messages in a flirty way too and I've stopped sending snaps because he doesn't send any back or comment on them. I don't really know if he's trying to be respectful or is just really bad at text flirting. At the start, he was really into the odd suggestive message but now, nothing. Has the initial excitement just worn off or what can I do to get some sort of response out of him? He does always reply but seems to shy away from the flirts so I dunno what to think? We were having a conversation ages ago and I told him I liked him and he said he liked me too otherwise he just wouldn't text me back at all. So maybe I am overthinking things. When I asked him if he wanted to meet this week, he said he will have to see what his wages are like as he has been off sick a lot lately. We live about an hour apart and it costs about £50 on the train to visit me and he is trying to pay a £1000 holiday off at the minute too.
LeilaPooh Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 I've met this guy halfway through January and we've been on two dates. We agreed no relationship yet, we would see how it goes. We have slept together and he used to love getting snaps off me. (He thought my thigh tattoo was really hot apparently but they weren't dirty ones) haha! But lately he hasn't really been responding back to my flirty messages in a flirty way too and I've stopped sending snaps because he doesn't send any back or comment on them. I don't really know if he's trying to be respectful or is just really bad at text flirting. At the start, he was really into the odd suggestive message but now, nothing. Has the initial excitement just worn off or what can I do to get some sort of response out of him? He does always reply but seems to shy away from the flirts so I dunno what to think? We were having a conversation ages ago and I told him I liked him and he said he liked me too otherwise he just wouldn't text me back at all. So maybe I am overthinking things. When I asked him if he wanted to meet this week, he said he will have to see what his wages are like as he has been off sick a lot lately. We live about an hour apart and it costs about £50 on the train to visit me and he is trying to pay a £1000 holiday off at the minute too. In all honesty it seems like he's lost interest. I would always always put off sleeping together as early as after two dates, especially if you are looking for a long term relationship (not sure how old you are). It seems he has a lot on his plate atm and you simply can't be his priority. It doesn't make him a bad guy, but it might make him a bad guy for you. I wouldn't close the door, if he initiates a meet up or something in the future and you feel you still kind of like him, sure, go and meet up with him (no sleeping together please), but otherwise don't count on him falling for you hard or suddenly being open for something more serious. And please don't say you don't need him to give you something more serious because by posting this it's clear you do, and that is perfectly fine. Go and find yourself a guy who can give you the time and the attention you deserve cause you seem like a really sweet person. Good luck! 2
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Well the agreement was that we would date until we were both back from our holidays and then we would discuss the possibility of whether it could go any further. Honestly, I would like it to but I didn't want to rush straight into something right now as I have done that before and it went awful in the end. I know he has a lot on his plate right now so I'm just going to take the advice and play it by ear.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 He doesn't seem interested any more, unfortunately. Financial constraints aside, he would still be in regular contact if he really liked you and didn't want to let you slip away. How did you meet? 1
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Ya sure play it by ear, but in the meantime since you are not in a relationship, date other men. You just might meet someone better.
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 He doesn't seem interested any more, unfortunately. Financial constraints aside, he would still be in regular contact if he really liked you and didn't want to let you slip away. How did you meet? He is in regular contact. We talk everyday!
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Well the agreement was that we would date until we were both back from our holidays and then we would discuss the possibility of whether it could go any further. Honestly, I would like it to but I didn't want to rush straight into something right now as I have done that before and it went awful in the end. I know he has a lot on his plate right now so I'm just going to take the advice and play it by ear. From his side, this "agreement" was based on him wanting a little sex but realizing he had to put something out there vaguely alluding to the future in order to get you to feel it was okay to do it. Making references to the future is a very common MO for getting sex quickly and then being able to get out as well since no real promises were made. I am really sorry.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 He is in regular contact. We talk everyday! The way you described it sounded like it was you initiating most of the contact, though. Correct me if I'm wrong on that. In any event, if he's stopped flirting and can't see you more than twice in the time you've known each other and still can't say when he'll actually see you again....I'd still say you're probably wasting your time. Getting to a third date should not be so difficult. Where did you meet him? 1
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 The way you described it sounded like it was you initiating most of the contact, though. Correct me if I'm wrong on that. In any event, if he's stopped flirting and can't see you more than twice in the time you've known each other and still can't say when he'll actually see you again....I'd still say you're probably wasting your time. Getting to a third date should not be so difficult. Where did you meet him? We've never actually stopped being in contact at any point. We just keep containing texting and talking. He said he does want a third date but wants some money when he does. Plus we talk about what we will do next time he is down. It costs nearly £50 for him to travel to me I met him through mutual friends.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 We've never actually stopped being in contact at any point. We just keep containing texting and talking. He said he does want a third date but wants some money when he does. Plus we talk about what we will do next time he is down. It costs nearly £50 for him to travel to me I met him through mutual friends. This is what I meant when I said you're wasting your time. He's clearly not in a position to be dating long-distance. You can continue texting endlessly, but I wouldn't advise it. It's not going anywhere any time soon, unfortunately. 2
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 This is what I meant when I said you're wasting your time. He's clearly not in a position to be dating long-distance. You can continue texting endlessly, but I wouldn't advise it. It's not going anywhere any time soon, unfortunately. I am under no illusion that it is going somewhere anytime soon either. I haven't actually offered to travel to him at any point. Maybe I should.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 I am under no illusion that it is going somewhere anytime soon either. I haven't actually offered to travel to him at any point. Maybe I should. Give it a shot. His response will tell you what you need to know, I think.
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Give it a shot. His response will tell you what you need to know, I think. I suppose I haven't even offered. Just been expecting him to come down everytime.
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