He's so busy to be in a relationship

[Idaaa]

Hi there,

 

Well there's a guy at my school he's 19and i am 17. He plays football for an important football club and he should train 2 times a day and go to gym and running beside that. He also skip the school actually he might come only once a week.

At the beginning he was injured and had time. He started getting my attention and asking me about my exes andmy ideals in a guy. He suggested to go to a cafe ro something but I refused but he still bought me coffee and told me that he cares too much about sport and his girl should also sport. Later he took me to gym with himself and we worked out together. Well the first day he said he has no time for having a girlfriend and he doesn't want to get his mind occupied with other things than football but back then I kinda didn't even care cuz I had no special feelings. He even came to us and met my mom. But later I felt like things are not going alright cuz he's not saying anything but he shows like he likes me. So I told him that i think we are not just friends and he said that he wanted to tell it earlier but the truth is that he doesn't have much time and he knows he can't give me enough attention. That I'm so worthy to him that he doesn't want to loose me at all so if we get into relationship and if it doesn't work it happens. And by the way I live in Netherland and it's too expensive to travel from one city to another and we both soon move to another place so far from each other. So we decided to stay friends but actually it's like more than just being friends and less than a relationship. He doesn't want me to get hurt at all...like he actually finds himself obligated to tell me all the things that you should tell to ur gf like him hanging out with a girl friend but he has no feelings for him and he keeps emphasising that but for just a friend you don't explain that much and I think I mean something to him that he does that anyways. He invited me to go over to him and watch a movie but I refused he had already invited me a couple of times but I said no let's meet in public and he said you don't trust me. He tried to go cold but he's not really good at it so later I talked to him and he was ok again. Then for valentine's day I knitted him a scarf but he wasn't at school so I went over to his house and gave him the scarf. He was so surprised and said it's full of sense. I stayed there for an hour then I had to come cuz he also had training. When I said goodbye and were almost on my way he called me again and hugged me and kissed me! It was so expected cuz he usually keeps his emotions inside unless his eyes that reveals a bit. He had an appointment with a psychologist cuz hes too stressed during the game. He can't keep his mind busy with other things. His psychologist told him not to have a relationship and his couch also puts him under pressure. We both live in an other country than our mother land so he said he left his home for this goal and he should do it . But he said please just stay at least as just a friend.he said he lost his control and kissed me he doesn't know how it happened but he had the feeling to do it. he said I don't want to think if a girl is waiting for me it makes me occupied and if there's another guy who can make u happy choose him because I know at this moment I can't make you happy but it's actually not from the depth of my heart though.he said he should beat his feelings for me and I should pretend that I don't have them. So we're just friends again. Sometimes I'm afraid of the fact that he's not interested in me enough to make time for me or I'm afraid of sounding clingy sometimes even though I don't text him or call that much. From his talks but I kinda get this feeling like wait for me but don't let me know it cuz I'll get distracted... but what do you think about it is really that he is so busy? Or I'm just fooling myself. Btw he always says what he thinks...There was another girl before me but he clearly told her that she's like a sister to him. He didn't say such thing to me but wants me to pretend like I have no feelingsfor him. I'm kinda afraid of being a backup plan as well or he doesn't want me cuz I don't want to have sex this soon ofc he has never mentioned it though but I still think it might be a reason.

[preraph]

When a guy tells you they are not good enough for you in some way, such as can't give you enough attention, BELIEVE them. This is not code for anything. He is realizing he doesn't have enough time to maintain an actual girlfriend. If you are unhappy with the amount or quality of time you are spending, then he's not for you. He said nothing about trying to make that change because you were that important to him or anything. He likes you but he probably likes other girls as well and he's not looking to be all coupled up. So date other people too.

[coolheadal]

So he told what he can't handle what you want out of relationship. So take that as a hint. You need someone who can be there for you and love you. Why do you tolerate this guy and you seen what he did with the prior girlfriend. He's player on both fields and you chasing him and she should be chasing you instead. Move on find the right guy that respects you and can handle a relationship he can't coupe with you and your not giving him sex. You don't give sex to this ego headed guy just give in like other women who end up hurt or pregnant.

[smackie9]

Girl here is a tip for you....always put yourself first! Never ever bend over backwards to get a guy to like you. You accept guys who treat you the way you expect to be treated. You also cannot sex your way into a guy's heart. You did the right thing by not giving it up.....this guy doesn't deserve another min of your time.