jbspecial Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) Rather long read, Im using this site more like a journal thats public so if you want to read it feel free Well this maybe just a amusing story to hear in general. Over 3 years ago I left my home town to go to the big city and pursue dreams. Less then a year into this move I got a friend request from some girl I went to highschool with. She has 2 kids now and has been living with one of the kids fathers for a few years. She slowly kept talking to me. I didnt have actual girlfriends at the time, some 1-2 month flings and very little friends so I would reply. Eventually as she opened up more I found out that her and her boyfriend had a very strained relationship, sex once a month if that, not sleeping in the same bed or room. I guess we both didnt have friends so we talked a lot. We are in our mid 20s. Anyways after 12-13 months talking we never hit on each other, i respected she was with someone and infact I was in town 2 times for weeks during this time and we never met in person. However she told me she was leaving her boyfriend and moving into her own place. Her boyfriend didnt even fight it, I think he was tired of raising her other kid that wasnt his and I think he just disliked her. I felt bad for her at the time, taking her side but knowing what I know now about her he probably had a reason to just let her go. So she moves into her own place in October and she knows im gonna be in town for 2 weeks in December. She gets sexual with me in messaging, sends pics etc. When I get to town she asks to meet me at a bar, which is a hole in the wall in a crappy little town we grew up in. We get drunk and have sex in my car. I then go over and have sex with her about every night my whole trip up. The last few days of my trip she asked me, do you want to be exclusive? like a long distance relationship and I said yes. We talked non stop. I flew to her in April for a visit. I drove to her in July and while seeing my family was around her 2.5 weeks, she flew to me and we went to a wedding in Vegas in October. December 12th though she said "im only gonna ask you this once move back and be with me". I have nothing there but her so my automatic answer was I cant, like I cant just uproot everything. This was 10 days before I was gonna be in town for another 2 weeks. She got distant these 10 days and when I got to town I had to ask for a week for her to see me. So we spent 3 days together and it could of been much more. During that time she said some weird stuff and I caught glimpses of anxiety i think. One thing she said was "distraction is key" and another "a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on"....which i guess was what I was. We spent new years together and had sex, slept in the same bed and that was that. The moment came for me to leave. I said I love you and I will get a job here and move back to be with you by June just call me anytime, talk to me anytime. I will be back by June or earlier and I will come visit twice before then. Thats a 5 month wait and after a year I thought it was do-able. I was wrong. and now the best part lol As soon as I left her house she got distant. I traveled back home and less then 2 weeks from new years and sex and all that I see this guy in her snapchats and posts on FB.I asked who is this? I thought you wanted to marry me and be with me. She said "sorry he has what I want in life". The guy has a 8 year old kid and she said she never would date a guy with a kid so I was like why the change and she said well he is good to my kids. Anyways we argued this evening and she at one point said you have 1 week to come back or im gonna be with him. I just blocked her on snapchat and FB and went to bed. Now the climax I think The next morning from this argument I have with her I get a text "so the karma for what I did to you just hit me". As she is driving with this guy he gets a call and starts crying (this is a 30 year old man). The person he got a call from? my exes cousin who is around our age and went to school with us. My exes cousin calls this guy to say "im pregnant and the baby is yours". So my ex just finds out that this guy knocked her cousin up 4 months before and never told her when they started going out that he had sex with her cousin. Additionally he also had sex with a different cousin of hers but more distant. So my ex drops him off without a word and calls me. This is Jan 15th and we just spent new years the 1st together. She says I cant believe what I did. I didnt know he fathered a baby with my cousin (cousin is 20 weeks pregnant right now). Her dad also had this guy as a employee at one point. She said "I feel so bad at how I treated everyone, how much I have hurt everyone in this situation. Its been so hard not talking to you and I will do anything to make this up to you, he didnt get your girl and I rather have the distance we have then not have you. We were only innocent together, my sister or kids were there when we were together I didnt have sex with him and thankful because that would be gross". Me? Im the sucker that said okay lets be a couple again. Lets talk on the phone a lot, lets talk about my plans to move back in June and the jobs im applying for etc. She would talk about that guy...."he is a felon, he was in prison for drugs and I let him around my kids". Her cousin was texting her stuff like about how horrible of a person she was and all that and she was just like im sorry really but I didnt know. I think her cousin was hurt bad....i think she thought her and that guy would get back together. Anyways Jan 15th-31st we are actually together and she isnt with that guy.Long story ut she got $5000 in amazon money and bought me over $500 of stuff I didnt ask for but maybe she felt guilty. Around the 1st of February I notice her get distant. Our convos are more vague and on Feb 9th I said I have a feeling your maybe seeing that guy again but I wouldnt think you would do that, but I think maybe we shouldnt be FB friends for a bit because I feel your being shady and I dont want to see you post stuff that hurts me. So she doesnt even deny anything and says okay and says she will talk to me soon. I hold out 7 days leaving her alone, wondering why she isnt even bothering to talk to me. Then I look that guy up on FB and there is a photo of him holding her Feb 14th. I then look around and on Feb 10th her cousin posted a FB status that said "when your cousin wants to date and sleep with your unborn babies daddy, makes me want to puke" and that status was insane. For one my ex liked it and proudly commented yeah thats me. Some of her own family were saying awful stuff I dont even think I can post here, basically graphic stuff resulting in basically saying you are a whore. I think there was around 100 comments of bashing. In one comment she states "We are getting married in May" thats Feb 10th and she was with me Jan 31st and with me in person Jan 1st.... So i text her and ask is it true you are going to be with him? and she said yes. I said how can you be with him and she just said idk. Then she was like you could of had me and married me but now you can watch me go and marry another person. This was Feb 16th. I spent the next 12 days sending emails with a few days off in some of that time. I would just say how can you be with him when I am a option? Basically the things she said was "i didnt want to be alone and now I am not" and the "only flaw he has is that he is having a child with my cousin and i just have to accept that". I probably made a mistake by talking about how much a POS this guy is. Was in prison for drugs, has a 8 year old he doesnt care for, has a baby on the way with her cousin and he isnt helping her and is a serial cheater. His friend publicly posted that this guy has cheated on the last 3 women he was with. When I tell her that she just says "maybe im naive but he told me he changed" yet then i point out he didnt even say hey I slept with your cousin when he asked you out. Anyways after 12 days of arguing with someone that makes zero sense I went no contact. I havent tried speaking to her since 2/28 and I dont plan to. The reality is her name among all my friends has now been dragged through the dirt. Who I thought she was isnt even who she is. When she was pregnant her baby dad left her for another woman and she would talk about how bad it hurt and I said how can you do that to your cousin? they would of maybe got back together if you didnt get in the middle of it. Just its hard to love someone an then you see all that? like how they are okay with that and its mind blowing. To then say your gonna marry this guy you barely know in May, 2 months before his baby is born with your cousin? yikes. I even got drunk and FB messaged her mom like how much I loved her daughter and that guy wasnt right for her and her mom knows all this crap. Yet her own mother was like "the heart wants what it cant have you should have moved back faster" like when someones own mom is that trashy idk what hope there kids have, sure let your daughter go down that road out of what spite? I tried explaining logic to her. She has 2 kids with 2 different guys, this guy has 2 kids with 2 different women. Thats 4 outside parents rotating in for different custody schedules. One of those is your insanely mad and really never gonna forgive Cousin. My ex doesnt really work officially so her income varies and this guy she is with just started a concrete business but having been around that line of work I know at his level its not much of a income. I explained that. I explained if you have a kid with him your stuck and you guys have 5 kids combined? Idk there is no logic that can get through to her. Its not gonna be a good life. I went through his other ex's facebooks and sure enough when he was dating them stuff about how much he sucks and cheats etc. I spent time justifying it in my head for her. Like okay she was in a bad relationship and lonely for years. Then she was with me but the distance was killing her. So 3+ years rather alone. I said well she is broken. This is a rebound and she isnt thinking clearly. The thing is when she originally found out her cousin was having his baby she knew it was wrong, she asked for me back etc. The whole thing has gotten to a point where I just wonder if there is a mental issue going on or something. Anyways im at day 4 of no contact. I think me contacting her saying bad stuff about him pushed her closer to him. At this point idk if i could ever be with her but I just hope she realizes how much he sucks before she drags her kids into this or gets pregnant and ruins her life. That said I had some rebound sex last week so that helps a little bit in knowing she wasnt the last person I was with. Ive been told I dodged a bullet but it sucks when its a person you talked to daily for years and had so much with and then they just become this person that you never thought they would be ever. Like if a girl is gonna leave you for another guy you would think in my situation this should make me feel better. Because they are to dumb to realize what a mess of a life they are starting, but I actually love her kids so its just rather tragic. Edited March 4, 2017 by jbspecial
Tressugar Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Ay dios mio! I got a headache just reading that. Be glad it ain't you! You dodged a bullet.
Author jbspecial Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Yep im starting to agree with that more and more, 5 days of no contact and im already at a point of thinking why did I even care? Cant wait tell I get to the point I laugh about it all because I know it will be a good story for the future.
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