Punkie2005 Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 I met this guy online and we clicked instantly. Here comes the issues. He doesn't believe in love because he's been hurt by everyone he loves. When we hangout we have a great time but whenever he plans something he stands me up. Last night was the second time he has done this to me. Last time he did have some drama happen in his life and I understand where he was coming from but last night was planned in great detail and he hasn't even been reading my messages. Now there's more to this story, he does have mental illness caused by an injury a few years ago and he has antisocial tendencies. His closest friends do not know the severity of his mental illness. He has told me he was falling for me far too quickly and needed to step back. Since I was feeling the same, I was okay with that since I have my own horror stories from my divorce and ex's alike. The thing that really bonds me with this guy is that we have been single and celibate for a while. He says he respects me very much and that I'm not like other girls. Our main thing is trust . I did see him Thursday night and we had a great platonic time, then he kissed my forehead then kissed me twice on the lips. I'm confused by the whole situation. I don't know what to do at this point. Whether platonic or not, and I don't believe he sees me in purely platonic way, the fact he doesn't cancel plans but just disappears is getting to me. I know he's not with anyone. I know I'm probably his best friend at this point. I just need a guys advice as to what might be going on. My mind is telling me to run and at the same time telling me that his feelings and past together along with his mental illness is causing him to shut me out whenever he feels emotions coming too strong into the picture. Help....Im going nuts...and if anyone is into horoscopes or astrology,even better...
Lorenza Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Important reasons not to date this guy: 1) doesn't believe in love 2) stands you up 3) has a mental illness 4) has anti-social tendencies 5) adds turmoil to your life 6) makes you go and seek advice on the Internet If you proceed dating him, all the drama that is about to happen in your life is on you. You're gonna do that to yourself. Do you want peace and less suffering? Find a guy who's not that problematic. 6
normal person Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 "I met this guy and we totally clicked, aside from the 3 paragraphs worth of problems we have." You don't "click" with this guy. Save yourself the trouble. There are plenty of men out there who you won't have to jump through rings of fire to deal with. and if anyone is into horoscopes or astrology,even better... No, even worse. Astrology and horoscopes are not real. Seek practical, pragmatic advice from logical, rational people grounded in reality. You'll be much better off. Best of luck. 2
spiderowl Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) You might feel a connection with this guy but there is an English saying: 'Fine words butter no parsnips'. For those abroad, this generally means that people say nice things but actions are what count. I couldn't agree more. You are in for a whole load of anguish if you continue to see this guy. I know you want to see him and so will not want to hear this. He is already telling you who he is - he is a guy who will stand you up and disappear. He is not going to get emotionally involved with you (for various excuses). He backed off when he realised you were interested. Yes, he might have illnesses but they do not excuse his poor behaviour. He is a guy, he will go for whatever he feels an impulse towards at the time. It does not mean he will be emotionally involved, caring, committed or be there for you when you need him. Anyone who is saying upfront that they are scared to get involved is going to waste your time. It is a roundabout way of saying they do not see you in their future. You deserve so much better. Edited March 4, 2017 by spiderowl 2
Author Punkie2005 Posted March 4, 2017 Author Posted March 4, 2017 Thanks so much guys. I have already deleted his number out of my phone. I just feel my emotions have been put through the ringer the last few months. 3
OnlyHonesty Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Thanks so much guys. I have already deleted his number out of my phone. I just feel my emotions have been put through the ringer the last few months. It might be worth reading the book since that was the first thing that came to mind after reading your post. ''Don't Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle: How to Break Free of Negativity and Drama by Doreen Virtue'' Difficult relationships and challenging circumstances all come down to one thing: drama. In this groundbreaking book, Doreen Virtue guides you through the process of determining your Drama Quotient. You’ll discover how much stress you are unnecessarily tolerating and absorbing from other people and the situations you find yourself in. Doreen explains the physiological reasons why you can become addicted to high-drama relationships, jobs, and lifestyles, and how to heal from this cycle. You’ll come to understand why traumatic events from the past may have triggered post-traumatic symptoms, including anxiety, weight gain, and addictions – and you’ll learn natural and scientifically supported methods for restoring balance to your body and your life. Doreen shows you how to: Deal with relatives, friends, and co-workers who are “hooked” on drama Assess your own level of drama addiction Stop allowing negativity in your life Relieve stress and bring about inner peace Go on an overall Drama Detox to clear away negativity and let your light shine through! 1
Mrin Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Thanks so much guys. I have already deleted his number out of my phone. I just feel my emotions have been put through the ringer the last few months. Good on ya! Next!
GoldSparkz Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Thanks so much guys. I have already deleted his number out of my phone. I just feel my emotions have been put through the ringer the last few months. Well done for having the strength to follow your gut. The problem happens when we let our emotions take over then before you know it you've got nothing but a whole load of new dramas that you don't need in your life.
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Thank you for being smart enough to know this dude is a dud and you deserve better.....most would post several threads about the same guy for months ignoring everyone's advice. 1
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