elaine567 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I was being playful with her about her wanting me to meet her parents and friends. That comment either spooked her or something because she decided to just do our plans (go out to dinner, go to a club, stay over my place.) Yes you saw it as playful but she I guess saw it as sarcastic and a complaint so changed her plans to suit you better... People do not tend to like it when their SO refuses or makes a complaint about hanging about with friends and family, especially on NYE. 1
Author monolithic Posted March 6, 2017 Author Posted March 6, 2017 Yes you saw it as playful but she I guess saw it as sarcastic and a complaint so changed her plans to suit you better... People do not tend to like it when their SO refuses or makes a complaint about hanging about with friends and family, especially on NYE. Elaine are you replying to the correct thread? This has nothing to do with NYE. NYE ended up being a fun night and that was Jan 1. The incidents I'm talking about happened starting about 2 weeks ago (end of February). I never complained about hanging out with her friends and family. I wanted to meet them and she knew that. Truly no offense meant, but you're way off base here (if you're replying to the correct thread).
GemmaUK Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 Well we now know of two comments which were off and she took them as being off - she is the one dating you so there's very likely to have been more of the same kind of comments over things considering you appear to get so frustrated. Weighing it all up she gave date night a go and she has realised you're not the guy for her. Just move on OP - and find someone closer to home if you struggle with a 30 min journey. 1
SunnySide0418 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I think you're misunderstanding my reaction to her saying I couldn't stay over - I thought I explained it decently in previous posts: It might have been 'rude' the way I worded it, but she also expected me to drive 30 minutes to her place, stay until late / early in the morning and then drive home. Also, as I mentioned before, I did about 80-90% of the driving to her place. She was at my place maybe 3-4x in 4 months. Additionally, I was frustrated because we had such a great date night and it felt like she was backing off for no reason leading up to this moment. The entire point of this thread was hopefully to get some advice on what happened in the week leading up to this incident. She just started pulling away for no reason that I could tell. Like I said, date night was great and she was acting as close to me and affectionate as she had in a long time. Then Sun-Tues after date night, she was texting me saying "Is everything ok? Just wanted to make sure things were ok between us. Things are ok on my end." Then Wednesday, she started getting progressively more distant from me over the rest of that week leading up to the conversation on Sunday about 8 days after date night, that she didn't see a future with me, etc, etc. There didn't seem to be any trigger that I can tell. I realize I could have / should have handled the incident that Saturday (the night before the breakup) better. But she had already been pulling away that week and acting distant 3-4 days before that and I can't figure out what happened. It was a complete flip-flop from how she had been acting on date night and Sunday-Tuesday. You also knew her situation when you got involved with her. That she has her son 100% of the time. So that means of you want to see her you're the one who is going to need to be driving to her place mostly. I can't believe you're actually complaining about a 30 min drive each way. That's really not much. I stand by what I said.. you're a whiny baby and not very understanding of her situation. It's obvious something turned her off. And again one great weekend means NOTHING! stop dwelling on it. My guess is your attitude about driving is maybe what turned her off. It could be anything. Move on! You are being such a girl here. Man up!! She doesn't want you.
elaine567 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 We spent NYE together, she introduced me to one of her best friends, the weekend of Date Night she initially asked me to go to her parent's for a BBQ and then out later that night with her friends (until I stupidly made a comment about 'Oh yeah? Isn't that what relationship couples do?) and her reply was something to the effect of "I didn't see it as any big deal". She ended up saying "Let's just do you original plans." I guess I spooked her and made some bad moves. ^^^This is the comment I am referring to.
GemmaUK Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 Elaine are you replying to the correct thread? This has nothing to do with NYE. NYE ended up being a fun night and that was Jan 1. The incidents I'm talking about happened starting about 2 weeks ago (end of February). I never complained about hanging out with her friends and family. I wanted to meet them and she knew that. Truly no offense meant, but you're way off base here (if you're replying to the correct thread). Huh? Looks to me like she has the right thread - I read about NYE also. This was the 1st of the two comments I mentioned in my last post. Things like this all add up when you're dating - you do understand that yes OP? 1
Author monolithic Posted March 6, 2017 Author Posted March 6, 2017 Well we now know of two comments which were off and she took them as being off - she is the one dating you so there's very likely to have been more of the same kind of comments over things considering you appear to get so frustrated. Weighing it all up she gave date night a go and she has realised you're not the guy for her. Just move on OP - and find someone closer to home if you struggle with a 30 min journey. I keep getting replies to everything but this point: Date night was great. She said so. Her behavior that night and 2-3 days after date night, were fantastic. The best it had been for a long time. From Saturday (date night) through Tuesday, she was acting like she was really into the relationship. Even expressing concern that everything was ok on my end in regards to how I felt about her and I. Then on Wednesday, for no reason that I can fathom, she started acting distant. There were no bad discussions, no issues, etc. I stayed all night that Tuesday night, she offered to make me coffee in the morning, etc. My confusion is that we had such a great weekend and the 2-3 days after that weekend. Then mid-week she started acting distant and I was posting to find out what everyone thought was the reason. Your reply is something that happened after she was already acting distant, so that can't be the reason and that's not my question. You also knew her situation when you got involved with her. That she has her son 100% of the time. So that means of you want to see her you're the one who is going to need to be driving to her place mostly. I can't believe you're actually complaining about a 30 min drive each way. That's really not much. I stand by what I said.. you're a whiny baby and not very understanding of her situation. It's obvious something turned her off. And again one great weekend means NOTHING! stop dwelling on it. My guess is your attitude about driving is maybe what turned her off. It could be anything. Move on! You are being such a girl here. Man up!! She doesn't want you. I'm not sure why you keep insulting me? Yes, I knew she had her son 100% of the time. She and I discussed this. We talked about babysitters, we talked about me being ok with coming over the majority of the time. Again, that's not the issue or the point of the thread. (See my comments above)
GemmaUK Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 Date night was great and then instead of sweeping these off comments under the rug she thought about them, took time to think about them (as well as other aspects of the relationship) and realised she didn't want to date you any longer. It really is that simple OP! Time for you to move on.
SunnySide0418 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I keep getting replies to everything but this point: Date night was great. She said so. Her behavior that night and 2-3 days after date night, were fantastic. The best it had been for a long time. From Saturday (date night) through Tuesday, she was acting like she was really into the relationship. Even expressing concern that everything was ok on my end in regards to how I felt about her and I. Then on Wednesday, for no reason that I can fathom, she started acting distant. There were no bad discussions, no issues, etc. I stayed all night that Tuesday night, she offered to make me coffee in the morning, etc. My confusion is that we had such a great weekend and the 2-3 days after that weekend. Then mid-week she started acting distant and I was posting to find out what everyone thought was the reason. Your reply is something that happened after she was already acting distant, so that can't be the reason and that's not my question. I'm not sure why you keep insulting me? Yes, I knew she had her son 100% of the time. She and I discussed this. We talked about babysitters, we talked about me being ok with coming over the majority of the time. Again, that's not the issue or the point of the thread. (See my comments above) Your point of the thread is what changed so quickly. How is anyone here sup posed to know??!! Why don't you ask her? Obviously, she was never really that into you and again having a great weekend doesn't mean much. People can have a great time and get caught up in the moment and that doesn't mean it means much. Bottom line is something changed her mind and made her realize you're not the one for her. No one here can tell you why that happened. Seriously, why don't you ask her? Tell her you'd like closure and you want to better yourself fir next time. Maybe she'll be honest so you can move past this. 1
olivetree Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 OP, first off, I understand you are feeling hurt right now. Being rejected in dating sucks. Here is my take: She was fine dating you as long as you were okay with it being casual and temporary. Your comments may have been off-putting for her, but only in the context of her already having low interest in you. These expressions hinted at dissatisfaction, causing her to feel pressured to feel as strongly as you do. If she was into you as much as you needed her to be, she'd be delighted that you want more of her. She'd also likely rather have you in her bed than her prepubescent son on the weekends (WTF). She'd also want to spend more time together than once or twice a week. You didn't lose much. Find yourself a woman on the same page that really likes you and wants to spend time with you. 1
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