Angel29 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or he will come over to me and talk nonsense just so he can speak to me. The problem is he is married with 3 children. I have to shut my feelings off for him and act as though they don't exist. He makes things awkward as I will walk in the office and I catch him staring at me or he will go in to the kitchen when I go. I don't think he is happy at home as he moans about his children and how much they cost and he sighs at how he has the children on his own at weekends as his wife works shifts. Today I got flustered as he came near me, I know I cannot involved but how can I deal with this knowing he fancies me too.
smackie9 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 This guy is a pig.....stop interacting with him. If you have to interact, keep it professional. If he gets aggressive or makes you uncomfortable, talk to your HR person or your supervisor. 3
CptInsano Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 I would also not read too much into his behavior, meaning that he may just pass the time chatting with you, and may have zero real interest. There are tons of guys who just like to unload on people. (One reason why I avoid hotel bars.) The rest is up to you. Be professional, but excuse yourself when he starts to talk about personal stuff. That is his problem and not yours. 1
dumbass2 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Just have boundaries and let him know if he crosses them. Make sure NOT to flirt with him. Things have to stay professional and that's it. Don't give in to your physical desires because they will lead to a lot of hurt and problems at work. Just keep reminding yourself that he is married with children and if he did try anything with you that that would be all you need to know to see what kind of person he is and how he treats someone in a relationship.
introverted1 Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 So exactly what is attractive about a man who complains to a stranger that he is not happy at home and sees his children as financial burdens he is sometimes "forced" to care for? 1
OatsAndHall Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 His behavior may be flirting or showing interest or it may not. But, it doesn't matter either way: I have no respect for a man or a woman who complains about their children or spouses to people that are practically strangers. As others have pointed out, maintain boundaries with this guy. I would strongly suggest you avoid chatting with him at work unless it's about a work related issue.
Popsicle Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Been there, done that. Eventually you'll learn that there's a lot of married men who fancy you. Just ignore them. They have issues.
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