curlygirl40 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 Hi. I just read through your thread and even though a few days have passed and it seems like you're moving on, I wanted to still chime in. The simplest advice I can give, which was given to me is this. You can't do the wrong thing with the right person. And really you can analyze the heck out of this but really it doesn't matter. Either she's seeing other people, she's too busy to date, she's a flaky human being, she's got too much going on in her world to give you the attention you need. Etc., etc. It doesn't matter. What should matter is that her actions do not work for you. You can't build a relationship on what was going on. It's not enough consistent interaction to really get to know someone and to build something with someone. I'm assuming you've moved on, best of luck 2
Kitchen Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 No, she did not, but I went to the cinema yesterday night and I'm going to the theater tonight! I know what town and part of town she lives in, but not her exact address. It doesn't matter though! I'm done with her. That is absolutely correct. I have let her go already. It will take a while to get over her completely, but I'm feeling much better after having taken this decision. OP did she ever contact you again? If not, how long has it been since you last communicated, and how are you feeling now?
Author ercolgemi Posted March 24, 2017 Author Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) Hello guys! Sorry, I had stopped checking on this thread and only now realized that others have been replying! The simplest advice I can give, which was given to me is this. You can't do the wrong thing with the right person. And really you can analyze the heck out of this but really it doesn't matter. Either she's seeing other people, she's too busy to date, she's a flaky human being, she's got too much going on in her world to give you the attention you need. Etc., etc. It doesn't matter. What should matter is that her actions do not work for you. You can't build a relationship on what was going on. It's not enough consistent interaction to really get to know someone and to build something with someone. I'm assuming you've moved on, best of luck Exactly. That is exactly right! I cannot express how much I agree with you, and I could not have put it any better. Thank you so much for telling me your opinion on this! I really, really do appreciate it - and once again, every single reply in this thread has been helping me. Thank you very much! OP did she ever contact you again? If not, how long has it been since you last communicated, and how are you feeling now? No, she never contacted me again. I did not, either. I am assuming she either changed her number, blocked me, is currently somewhere abroad, or in some sort of treatment, because she hasn't been on whatsapp in forever. I am feeling a lot better, though I still have a hard time shaking my feelings. I try not to think about her at all, I keep repeating to myself that I've done nothing wrong, but sometimes I fall back into negative thinking and blame myself. Today I'm doing a very good job at not thinking about it actually. I'm taking it one day at a time and slowly but surely, it will all fade away. It took some willpower, but it's already much better - and in time, I will overcome this entirely. No doubt about it at all! (I am using a few strategies that I came up with, myself, actually. I have a piece of paper on which I wrote all of my arguments about why I did nothing wrong, and re-read them when I start thinking about it, to cut down on the circle-thinking process. I have a list of things I didn't like about her (I also used one when I broke up with my first serious girlfriend more than 4 years ago), which I use to remind myself of why I can do so much better. Etc! All in all, it's working for now, and I feel much better! ) __________________________________________________ To everyone who hasn't read the rest of the thread, please do so before chiming in! A lot has changed since the original post. I am just updating those helpful posters that have been wondering about how things have been. Edited March 24, 2017 by ercolgemi 1
curiouslysearching Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I think 4 dates is way too soon to have the exclusivity talk. I would give it a couple of months, like 8-12 dates, but maybe that's just me. It depends on what someone's looking for too. If you're just looking for a girlfriend, then it might not matter, but if you're looking for something really serious that could be really long-term, then I'd wait longer. I agree that four dates is simply not enough time to make that leap.
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