books2 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 I'll try and make this short... I've recently been dating someone new and it feels like we are missing chemistry resulting to moments where things just feel ''awkward'' It's not totally awful and we already managed to get some recurring inside jokes and such going... But I think the fact this girl is immigrant probably causes us to misunderstand each other often times... She came to Canada 5 years ago from Colombia and often times, when I try to say something, she does not necessarily understand. We have to pause and I have to explain what it means to her and often it just feels weird. Same thing if I try to reference anything cultural to Canada or North America. I'm not bashing on her, I completely understand that she would not get things like expressions and cultural references... I'm trying to avoid those completely, but there still are this awkward language and cultural barriers. Anyone experienced this before? Did you manage to have these things improve?
JamesM Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 TBH based on what you are saying, I doubt it will get much better unless you have an interest in her and are willing to work at it. Attraction and love make us more than willing to WANT to explain everything. If it is a burden to you, then move on.
Larryville Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Chemistry In the context of relationships, chemistry is a simple "emotion" that two people get when they share a special connection. It is not necessarily sexual. It is the impulse making one think "I need to see this [other] person again" - that feeling of "we click". It is pretty much immediate and not so much explainable. You stated: missing chemistry resulting to moments where things just feel ''awkward'' When you click with someone moments are NEVER awkward! 2
RecentChange Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Hum, I dated someone once who was a fairly recent immigrant - we would have our laugage and cultural reference hiccups - but I can't say it was akward. If anything it was enjoyable. I loved learning about his culture and different perspective. It was fun to share the meaning and history of my colloquialisms. We had great chemistry, other compatability issues.... But laugage / culture? That didn't negatively affect our chemistry.
kendahke Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 I'll try and make this short... I've recently been dating someone new and it feels like we are missing chemistry resulting to moments where things just feel ''awkward'' It's not totally awful and we already managed to get some recurring inside jokes and such going... But I think the fact this girl is immigrant probably causes us to misunderstand each other often times... She came to Canada 5 years ago from Colombia and often times, when I try to say something, she does not necessarily understand. We have to pause and I have to explain what it means to her and often it just feels weird. Same thing if I try to reference anything cultural to Canada or North America. I'm not bashing on her, I completely understand that she would not get things like expressions and cultural references... I'm trying to avoid those completely, but there still are this awkward language and cultural barriers. Anyone experienced this before? Did you manage to have these things improve? Can you try speaking Spanish to see if these awkward silences resolve themselves?
Author books2 Posted March 4, 2017 Author Posted March 4, 2017 Hey guys, You people are right… If our love was stronger these moments probably would not happen or they would happen and cause a different sentiment than awkwardness. @Kendahke, I do not speak Spanish, unfortunately. However, she is teaching me and I am learning fast. There is already a lot of things I have begun to say in Spanish and it helps for us to understand one another. To relate to RecentChange’s experience, it’s quite nice to learn Spanish and to try different delicacies from her country. She also takes me to some of her favourite Latin places around the city. That part is exciting. However, it’s just true that our chemistry is not perfect… It’s about 5 out of 10… Or to say not awful, but not awesome either. Having experienced a 9.999 out of 10 in my past relationship, it’s just not comparable. I was hoping it might improve over time as we get to know and understand one another better, but it’ll never be a 10 out of 10. If I have to be honest, I think we are both hurt from our past relationships and hope this will work. However, I have to face the fact that I, personally, am just not that into her and I can blame it on whatever lack there is, but the cold hard fact is that I will probably stay with that familiar feeling of not being ''that into her’’ no matter how much I want that to change. I’ll have to do some thinking. Thanks all!
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