rednails85 Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 What expectations do you think come along with the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"? Including the obvious ones (like exclusivity, e.g.) do you expect them to contact you daily? Ask before having a girls/guys night out? Inform you of their whereabouts? I'm not asking for a particular reason - just curious what others think.
CptInsano Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 Yes, exclusivity. Everything else is negotiable, which unfortunately means that one has to discuss his/her wishes with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend, and cannot fall back on anything considered "normal" or "usual". 3
Author rednails85 Posted March 2, 2017 Author Posted March 2, 2017 Maybe I should rephrase and ask what expectations do YOU typically have for your boyfriend/girlfriend? I realize these are individual and you can't really have an expectation without communicating that expectation to your partner.
LotusAvx Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 yes. exclusivity, daily contact, interest and planning dates/hangouts from BOTH people.
basil67 Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 It would be more helpful if you tell us why you're asking and we address your concerns directly. 1
Shanex Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 What expectations do you think come along with the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"? Including the obvious ones (like exclusivity, e.g.) do you expect them to contact you daily? Ask before having a girls/guys night out? Inform you of their whereabouts? I'm not asking for a particular reason - just curious what others think. -Exclusivity, sure. Not negotiable if we are together, and having unprotected sex and so forth. -Daily contact isn't necessary. But I expect a call or text a week nonetheless. I've really taper off on my communication since a few years. -Girls night out? Well if she tell me then good evening honey, if she doesn't, don't mind as long as she isn't secretly onto someone else... -Inform me, no way. I'm nowhere that needy and clingy. I don't care if she's refueling at a different gas station than her usual. Don't want to hear these trivial stuff and this adds more stress to always wonder where she is.
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 Exclusivity of course. My big odd expectation is that once you make it formal, my expectation is that we will spend most weekends together on dates Friday & Saturday night. If the other person wanted to go out with friends instead without me, I'd prefer to know by at least Wednesday so I have a chance to make plans of my own. It really is all a matter of talking about what you want from your partner. I would never expect somebody to tell me where they are at all times. I don't keep that kind of track of my husband. Be where you say you are going to be if I'm meeting you; otherwise have fun & be safe. 1
Redhead14 Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 What expectations do you think come along with the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"? Including the obvious ones (like exclusivity, e.g.) do you expect them to contact you daily? Ask before having a girls/guys night out? Inform you of their whereabouts? I'm not asking for a particular reason - just curious what others think. It's not about expectations except for exclusivity. Accepting the title of girlfriend should mean that the dating partner has been, at least for the most part, meeting your early dating needs -- good, consistent communication, including you in various activities on a regular basis etc. You are still two individuals with your own lives. Neither of you asks for permission to do anything. As to what you do when and with whom, that's usually just part of your usual conversation about your day and what's going on in your life, etc. "hey, I'm going out on Xday with my girlfriends to Xplace".
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 Exclusivity yes, but all else depends on the individuals concerned and what they expect from the relationship.
todreaminblue Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) when its boyfriend/girlfriend to me its exclusive ....its meant to be a close relationship with respect and care.....i communicate daily in most cases even if it is just good morning and a good night text.... if i go out ...i let him know...i sort fo expect the same back....i get to know his communication style adn fi theres problems i address them early.... i let him know what my plans are for the day.....if i want to go out with friends at night more often than not he is automatically invited if he would like to come....i allow bf to pretty much come around anytime they want to see me if i am not doing anything which of course he would know if i was .........i still like to get phone calls before visits to say hey i want to come over.....so respect goes a long way.....he has access to my face book...my friends and my family...for me a boyfriend must feel welcome and supported and respected im not a secretive person so no secret friends or outings..........i would introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend my friends include exes and male friends....in the past ...male friends and exes have always been respectful........my family would already know.....i have a large family and integrating him as gently as possible for him....my family are accepting and can be overwhelming....so family knowing our status.....happens first because when i am with someone .... i have written before i dont take dating lightly and any bf of mine is a long term part of my life......im a loyal person.....and so are my family.....i would nto go bf gf unless they were aware and ready to be form attachments to my family...and me.....vice versa.. any guy i am with will have pull in decision making i will be thinking about our relationship when making decisions so..he will have a say.......he needs to be ok with that..and ready to become part of my family...flaws and all........package deal....in saying this th edating process happens to determine whether he wants to be long term with me and me with him.....and take that step to bf gf.....deb Edited March 2, 2017 by todreaminblue 1
CptInsano Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 To the OP: I also think you have a far more specific question hiding somewhere, why not simply ask? As to me, I do want exclusivity, daily contact is not a must, depending on the situation. I want physically and emotional attraction, a positive attitude, a desire to spend time with me, and a tolerance for some of the quirks I have. Even though there may only be attraction at first, I would expect that love is not being ruled out. I don't care about her whereabouts, unless for a specific reason. ("Hey hon, we need milk.") Girls nights out don't bother me in the slightest. As long as words and actions are consistent with one another and I trust her, she can do all kinds of things. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) 1. Exclusivity 2. Yes, daily contact (communication)...what???? What kind of relationship, especially early on, does one negotiate periods of no communication? Doesn't make sense. I'm not talking about texting, calling each other every 5-minutes, but at least daily contact. There's enough uncertainty and insecurity among people who date already. 3. Having or having had the talk about immediate expectations including communication frequency beyond once a day. Once/day minimum. And method(s) acceptable. 4. Clear communication...no ambiguity, please. There are others, but these three are very important for me. Edited March 3, 2017 by simpleNfit 1
rushed Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 What expectations do you think come along with the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"? Including the obvious ones (like exclusivity, e.g.) do you expect them to contact you daily? Ask before having a girls/guys night out? Inform you of their whereabouts? I'm not asking for a particular reason - just curious what others think. Prior to us living together, I didn't expect him to contact me everyday. I don't expect him to ask me if he could go out with his friends, nor will I ask him if I can go out with mine. I do expect a quick heads-up, though. Prior to us living together, I never expected him to let me know where he was. After living together, I just asked him to let me know if he was ever going to be home late. I do expect to be his date to any work parties or weddings he attends, just as I expect him to be mine. I expect him to be there for me emotionally when I need someone to lean on. If I'm ever stranded somewhere, I expect him to come get me. And that's basically it for me. But as others have said, expectations are different for every couple. I feel fortunate in that my boyfriend and I are both pretty independent people with low jealousy issues. We trust each other. I had an ex who always had to know where I was. In the beginning I thought it was cute. But that became tiring really fast.
anzhoulau Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 - Exclusivity: for sure, and I mean both physical and emotional exclusivity, no flirting or messages with romantic implications; - Daily communication: yes for me, at least some random texts like "how's ur day", "Gonna sleep, night babe", expect if one of us goes on a trip where there is large time diff, but we still exchange texts when we are both awake... - Frequency of meet up: I would expect to meet up for 2-3 times a week and by default we are spending Fri/Sat night together. If either one of us needs to meet fds or family on Fri/Sat night, the other party gets notified by Wed the latest I think. - And communications, honesty, no hiding things.
Emaize3 Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 If you're in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation- absolutely daily contact!!
GemmaUK Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 What expectations do you think come along with the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"? Including the obvious ones (like exclusivity, e.g.) do you expect them to contact you daily? Ask before having a girls/guys night out? Inform you of their whereabouts? I'm not asking for a particular reason - just curious what others think. The only thing in your list I would expect is exclusivity. Daily contact isn't necessary. Needing to ask permission to go out with friends and informing whereabouts if they are expected from you are controlling behaviours. I'm a guy's girlfriend, not his child.
Recommended Posts