sbchick4 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) Hey guys - thanks for taking the time to read this. My apologies for the length. My boyfriend broke up with me in December. I don't really know where to start. I had just moved to another state and knew no one when I met him the same week (after the move). We spent all summer together, practically living together. Never fought. It was amazing. I thought this was the man I would marry. My daughter was back in our home state visiting her father for the summer and when she came back I had some trouble sleeping due to anxiety. I mentioned it to my doctor who immediately put me on Prozac. At that time I started picking fights with my boyfriend constantly, had crazy mood swings, made terrible decisions, was obsessive about everything in my life and was extremely emotional. Eventually he said he couldn't marry someone who made the types of decisions I was making as they weren't good for me or my daughter. He broke up with me. We have a ton of mutual friends who have been "sharing custody" of us the last few months. (Their words, not mine...) Anyway, right after we broke up I started taking more and more of the Prozac thinking it wasn't working. It was like a terrible cycle. I felt bad, anxious, would take more medicine, which in turn would make me feel bad and anxious. I kept making terrible decisions after the breakup, that eventually resulted in my ex going after one of his friends who kept trying to kiss and grope me one night. (He wasn't there, found out about it through mutual friends.) Eventually the doctor found out I was taking four-times the prescribed amount and asked me about it. I realized the drugs were making me do these things. I stopped taking them and almost immediately felt better. I felt I should tell my ex I figured out why I had changed almost overnight when my daughter came back. We met up and I did. When I told him about the prescription problem, I said I know I have to own up to it to the things I did that hurt him (there was NEVER any cheating involved by either party, just reckless, dangerous behavior on my end, also there was never any physical abuse by any party.) I was hoping he would give me a chance to just be his friend at that point. Let him slowly start to see I was the person he fell for last summer. That day he agreed to get dinner with me a Friday a few weeks later. It was so interesting to see his face as the light bulbs when one when he realized what happened with the prescription. When I left we hugged and said we'd try to make plans to hang out with my daughter even before our dinner. I tried to reach out to him the next week to no answer. I never really talked to him again and once that week we were supposed to get dinner came around he canceled (on Valentine's Day) our Friday plans. I was devastated. I had some margaritas that night and made a fool of myself and texted him a bunch in anger/frustration. I also told him I was trying to move on and was seeing someone else and his best friends/our mutual friends had already met him (all true - but I have since broken that off). He told me he was done responding to me. The following day I realized how insane that was and sent him an apology. Haven't heard from him since or tried to reach out to him either. I decided I needed to do no contact if I wanted any hope of anything ever. So, I'm on day 15 and going crazy. I miss him so much. I don't know what to do. I just want him to give me a chance to show him I'm still the same person. He doesn't seem willing to allow that. I have no idea if there's another girl in the picture. He's (knowingly) made mistakes with substance abuse in the past too, which is why it's especially frustrating that he won't give me a chance to be a friend, after my accidental problem. People have given him multiple chances to prove himself. Help! P.s. since the breakup I've really tried working on myself. Working out, making new friends, getting involved in new groups and church, improving my relationship with my daughter. I didn't date at all until the beginning of Feb. because I was trying to heal myself. I thought I was ready and it would help me move on. Edited March 1, 2017 by sbchick4
divegrl Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Hi welcome to LS! I'm so sorry you're going thru this. It must be really hard. When did u stop Prozac? Did you taper or cold turkey? Depending on the length and dosage it will take your body a couple of months AFTER the last dose to return to normal. Also since alcohol is a depressant it should not be consumed either. Take this time to focus on yourself. Surround yourself with loved ones who can encourage and support you! Go out and enjoy hobbies and friends! Good luck my friend!
Redhead14 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) Hey guys - thanks for taking the time to read this. My apologies for the length. My boyfriend broke up with me in December. I don't really know where to start. I had just moved to another state and knew no one when I met him the same week (after the move). We spent all summer together, practically living together. Never fought. It was amazing. I thought this was the man I would marry. My daughter was back in our home state visiting her father for the summer and when she came back I had some trouble sleeping due to anxiety. I mentioned it to my doctor who immediately put me on Prozac. At that time I started picking fights with my boyfriend constantly, had crazy mood swings, made terrible decisions, was obsessive about everything in my life and was extremely emotional. Eventually he said he couldn't marry someone who made the types of decisions I was making as they weren't good for me or my daughter. He broke up with me. We have a ton of mutual friends who have been "sharing custody" of us the last few months. (Their words, not mine...) Anyway, right after we broke up I started taking more and more of the Prozac thinking it wasn't working. It was like a terrible cycle. I felt bad, anxious, would take more medicine, which in turn would make me feel bad and anxious. I kept making terrible decisions after the breakup, that eventually resulted in my ex going after one of his friends who kept trying to kiss and grope me one night. (He wasn't there, found out about it through mutual friends.) Eventually the doctor found out I was taking four-times the prescribed amount and asked me about it. I realized the drugs were making me do these things. I stopped taking them and almost immediately felt better. I felt I should tell my ex I figured out why I had changed almost overnight when my daughter came back. We met up and I did. When I told him about the prescription problem, I said I know I have to own up to it to the things I did that hurt him (there was NEVER any cheating involved by either party, just reckless, dangerous behavior on my end, also there was never any physical abuse by any party.) I was hoping he would give me a chance to just be his friend at that point. Let him slowly start to see I was the person he fell for last summer. That day he agreed to get dinner with me a Friday a few weeks later. It was so interesting to see his face as the light bulbs when one when he realized what happened with the prescription. When I left we hugged and said we'd try to make plans to hang out with my daughter even before our dinner. I tried to reach out to him the next week to no answer. I never really talked to him again and once that week we were supposed to get dinner came around he canceled (on Valentine's Day) our Friday plans. I was devastated. I had some margaritas that night and made a fool of myself and texted him a bunch in anger/frustration. I also told him I was trying to move on and was seeing someone else and his best friends/our mutual friends had already met him (all true - but I have since broken that off). He told me he was done responding to me. The following day I realized how insane that was and sent him an apology. Haven't heard from him since or tried to reach out to him either. I decided I needed to do no contact if I wanted any hope of anything ever. So, I'm on day 15 and going crazy. I miss him so much. I don't know what to do. I just want him to give me a chance to show him I'm still the same person. He doesn't seem willing to allow that. I have no idea if there's another girl in the picture. He's (knowingly) made mistakes with substance abuse in the past too, which is why it's especially frustrating that he won't give me a chance to be a friend, after my accidental problem. People have given him multiple chances to prove himself. Help! P.s. since the breakup I've really tried working on myself. Working out, making new friends, getting involved in new groups and church, improving my relationship with my daughter. I didn't date at all until the beginning of Feb. because I was trying to heal myself. I thought I was ready and it would help me move on. The medication did not ruin your relationship - You ruined your relationship by misusing it. You showed poor problem solving skills and irresponsibility with medication. I stopped taking them and almost immediately felt better I had some margaritas that night and made a fool of myself and texted him a bunch in anger/frustration. So, since you stopped the medication, your excuse now for the above situation is alcohol? It seems that with or without medication, you have the inability to regulate your emotions and choose better ways to manage them. Let him slowly start to see I was the person he fell for last summer. -- So much for that plan . . . I'm sorry to be harsh, this guy is "seeing the bigger picture". Excuses for poor behavior and problems with substances . . . You need to seek therapy and let a qualified psychiatrist evaluate and prescribe medications if necessary. And if they are deemed necessary, you need to follow the directions and be educated on it's use. You must own and accept your role in this situation in order to do the work necessary to prepare yourself for the future with someone else . . . Edited March 1, 2017 by Redhead14
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