Miss Peach Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 I'm glad he asks me, but when he says "I will take you out for Christmas" and Christmas comes and goes and nothing happened, does that mean I will have to always plan where and when this stuff happens? Even surprises? I WANT him to have input too. Isn't that a partnership? I want to root for the person not here but this sounds like more than a lack of planning initiative. If he does stuff like this and then doesn't this is going into reliability. I had this issue with current BF. He hasn't done it in the last month after I got through to him he would lose me but it's still making me question whether to stay with him and invest more. It's up to you as to how much that's necessary to you but it's a must have for me. It may sound contrary to what I've already written, but if it has now turned in FWB territory, I don't think I'd want to plan anything with him then. And none of this texting conversation either because it then starts blurring the lines and then one party (me) starts questioning everything. I can see this from two sides. First men aren't mind readers. So if you want to give this a chance, have a talk with him once and see what happens. If he doesn't make any changes then I would move on because it's not what you want. The second side is that men usually do as much as they want (or think they can get away with). So either he's not really invested and/or he has the impression he can get sex and get away with this. My guess is probably a bit of both or else he would try to be seeing you more frequently or letting you know who why he can't so you don't get frustrated and leave. Although, 40 is kind of young to suffer what he's suffering and probably had nothing to do with old age. ED can start at 40? I thought it was a 50-something thing? Something don't add up. I've seen 40 year olds with ED or who needed a lot of time to recharge between sex. My ex BF was 40 and he was the total opposite. Some men just age better than others. 1
alphamale Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? yes, you are. if you're not happy find someone else
Author imherewondering Posted March 1, 2017 Author Posted March 1, 2017 I want to root for the person not here but this sounds like more than a lack of planning initiative. If he does stuff like this and then doesn't this is going into reliability. I had this issue with current BF. He hasn't done it in the last month after I got through to him he would lose me but it's still making me question whether to stay with him and invest more. It's up to you as to how much that's necessary to you but it's a must have for me. I can see this from two sides. First men aren't mind readers. So if you want to give this a chance, have a talk with him once and see what happens. If he doesn't make any changes then I would move on because it's not what you want. The second side is that men usually do as much as they want (or think they can get away with). So either he's not really invested and/or he has the impression he can get sex and get away with this. My guess is probably a bit of both or else he would try to be seeing you more frequently or letting you know who why he can't so you don't get frustrated and leave. Can I asked how you phrased the discussion with him? Did you give an ultimatum?
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