shz93 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Hi guys, a couple of years ago I posted here about my girlfreind breaking up with me. We had been split for a couple of months and then got back together, everything has been perfect I even proposed and the wedding was to be next year. Well, Sunday night we had a drunken row and a few things came out about our past break up (I slept with sombody else) I know I am a jerk for not telling her sooner but I didnt want her to be hurt and then with the drink I said it. All **** hit the fan, I stayed with a friend that night she went home and then has been at her mums. Not answering any messages, nothing only said that she thinks its for the best we break up. She will be home today at some point I am terrified because I want to work through this she is the love of my life, I dont think her mum likes me so I know she will be swaying her decision. I know we could fix this if she would give us a chance but she doesnt seem interested, there has to be something I can do to convince her to let me explain everything and work it out. I cannot imagine my life without her and I have been a wreck these past few days, havent slept or ate, cant concentrate on anything....any advice appriciated. We also live together and I will be the one needing to move out but I have no money for a desposit for anywhere else....I am a mess here
fromheart Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 She broke up with you and as a single man you slept with someone else. So what? She should have been happy that you were looking after yourself and living your life. And you don't have to report in to her or anyone else on what you've done when your single, for them to judge you with it. This sort of jealousy is an indication of ownership, its not enough that she has you as a partner, she must own your history also. And if she dumps you, you must remain on standby should she decide to take you back. I wouldn't excuse this jealous and controlling behavior. You definitely don't want this sort of person as a long term partner, right now shes dumping you and taking you back, further on down the line she'll be taking your kids and your house. 1
coolheadal Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Now you told her the truth and sometimes the truth really can change your life. You basically cheated on her, no matter what you say to her she'll only remember the fact you cheated on her. Can't change that into like it never happen or you meant it to happen it did happen. No turning back the clock. Just have to move on and get over her. Even if she does come around but doesn't sound like it you lost all her respect for you now. Without this you don't have anything she holds dear with you. Forget her mom she not on your side because your not her kid. Your outsider trying to be with her child and marry her. I don't know why you told her what you did but you did but you were honest about it. But like I said the truth can always hurt you in the end. This time it has. Once you can do now is try not to make any contact with her. Leave her alone do not text, call or even go to her house. You do not want to make matters even worst than they are. If you push her more away then she might call the law on you. You do not want to get to the point the law comes into play. If that happens you can really say goodbye at that point. Remember do not make contact with her again. Might take days or weeks or months, but to me she'll do whatever she wants, she might or might not contact you again. You just have to accept things for the better.
thompkevin Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Hey man, I am sorry you are going through this. I think you should start preparing to live somewhere else. I think a part of your desperation is coming from the fact that you won't have a place to live anymore. When she comes home, don't act desperate, needy or insecure. Just tell her you don't think this is a good enough reason to breakup especially since you were broken up when you slept with someone else. Be calm the entire time. Have a heart to heart and speak to her if there is something else that's making her take this decision.
fromheart Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 OP, could you clarify whether you broke up because you slept with some else, or you slept with someone else while you were broken up?
Simple Logic Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Hi guys, a couple of years ago I posted here about my girlfreind breaking up with me. We had been split for a couple of months and then got back together, everything has been perfect I even proposed and the wedding was to be next year. Well, Sunday night we had a drunken row and a few things came out about our past break up (I slept with sombody else) I know I am a jerk for not telling her sooner but I didnt want her to be hurt and then with the drink I said it. All **** hit the fan, I stayed with a friend that night she went home and then has been at her mums. Not answering any messages, nothing only said that she thinks its for the best we break up. She will be home today at some point I am terrified because I want to work through this she is the love of my life, I dont think her mum likes me so I know she will be swaying her decision. I know we could fix this if she would give us a chance but she doesnt seem interested, there has to be something I can do to convince her to let me explain everything and work it out. I cannot imagine my life without her and I have been a wreck these past few days, havent slept or ate, cant concentrate on anything....any advice appriciated. We also live together and I will be the one needing to move out but I have no money for a desposit for anywhere else....I am a mess here You can't imagine your life without her, but you had no problem telling her about sleeping with another woman for the sole purpose of hurting her. I doubt she coming back.
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 You slept with somebody else while you were broken up which you had every right to do & which was none of her business. It's a shame that it came out during a drunken argument but now it's out there. Did you ever lie to her about it? Meaning, did she ask you if you were with anybody else while you were broken up? If so, the lie could be worse than the sex. Send her some flowers with an apology & beg her to talk to you calmly.
Pumpingiron34 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) chicks are backwards, do it again. Go sleep with some one else [] and then she will beg. I really don't want to believe this is how there wired but id be willing to bet it works better than an apology. Edited March 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language
Bromeo Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 You were broke up and slept with someone else. So what? My boogerfaced ex gave me a hard time for getting spotted on a date - after she ghosted me and broke into my home twice to get her things while I was on travel. And by this point we'd been broken up for a month. To women, there is broke up, but still together. And there is broke the hell up. To men, we are a couple or not. You could always say that what happened while you two were apart is none of her concern, as she wasn't fighting to get you back apparently. Before I wouldn't say this, now I think I could sack up and let a ballsy one off like that fly.
fromheart Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 To women, there is broke up, but still together. And there is broke the hell up. To men, we are a couple or not. You could always say that what happened while you two were apart is none of her concern, as she wasn't fighting to get you back apparently. . How dare she even try to dictate what you do when you are single? This is ownership, not love. Such a person is too insecure for a relationship, and needs to work on themselves. OP, take it from us who have been there. Bullet dodged.
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