Texting a guy for 4 days.. not sure its going anywhere.???

March 1, 2017

So I'm talking to a guy from Tinder.

I gave him my number because I was whatever about it.

He says we should hangout sometimes, etc.

He texted me and we've been texting for 4 days.

All the text are non sexual, no hints to sexual things, he hasn't asked for pictures and his text are all bland/kinda entertaining. He's just texting to be texting is what I'm getting from it. I asked him to meet one of these weeks.

He says yeah what day works for you?

Then he said this week is crazy for me so maybe next week.

We continue to text..

The next day he says he just went to the movies..

In my head I thought, didnt he say he was crazy busy though?

So now I'm just like okay...

He texts me good morning and good night every day.

Is there anything I can ask him to see if he is even going to meet me or should I just tell him hey this is getting boring texting everyday and end it there because I'm not sure if this is going anywhere??? Or ask him if he's even interested? I dont want a pen pal...

Help.. thanks

March 1, 2017

Nothing gong on with you and him. He's seeing other women that interest him more. So your being played. You need to stop and don't text him anymore. Find someone else that shows more interest in you because right now your just wasting your time with a man who's not really into you as you think.

March 1, 2017

Nothing gong on with you and him. He's seeing other women that interest him more. So your being played. You need to stop and don't text him anymore. Find someone else that shows more interest in you because right now your just wasting your time with a man who's not really into you as you think.

How do you know though? I can never tell with these kind of things.

He constantly replies and ask what im doing/hows my day?

He sends me pics of his dog and car randomly too.

Do I literally just stop messaging him? He just sent me a text...

March 1, 2017

How do you know though? I can never tell with these kind of things.
He constantly replies and ask what im doing/hows my day?
He sends me pics of his dog and car randomly too.
Do I literally just stop messaging him? He just sent me a text...

But you said he keeps changing your date time with him? Have you been out with him yet?

what I'm getting from it. I asked him to meet one of these weeks.

He says yeah what day works for you?

Then he said this week is crazy for me so maybe next week.

But you said this above what he tells you. So your haven't yet dated him but he continues to text you. Like your being played by him. Sure any one can send you pictures an etc. Can you call him up and talk to him? Right now you two are have been at this for 4 days. If he doesn't have the time to date you or setup time for a date. You need to move on. There has to be interest on his part as well as you. Are you going to wait forever. No you shouldn't. He's just playing games or he's not into you 100%. You shouldn't just have him only you need to have more than one guy interested in you. This way when one acts up like this you can always go to the next guy.

Let him do the chasing and see what he does next. Don't answer him. Wait and see what he does? But again this is now how it's suppose to be. Excuses are showing up.

Redflag

We continue to text..

The next day he says he just went to the movies..

In my head I thought, didnt he say he was crazy busy though?

Who did he go to the movies with? It sure wasn't you wasn't it?

I am sure on the Tinder app he has more than you he's talking too.

Either he's seeing other women or he's so busy he found time to

go to the movies. Can't depend on someone like this.

Edited March 1, 2017 by coolheadal

March 1, 2017

So I'm talking to a guy from Tinder.

Is there anything I can ask him to see if he is even going to meet me or should I just tell him hey this is getting boring texting everyday and end it there because I'm not sure if this is going anywhere??? Or ask him if he's even interested? I dont want a pen pal...

It's Tinder. I think you get to be a bit more bold.

Text him something along the lines of:

Texting has been amusing but I don't want a pen pal. I'

m

not saying I wanna hook up but I would like to meet you in person. Do you have any interest in meeting me for coffee at ___ [insert place] on _____ [insert date. . . a few days from now, Thursday might be good]?

See what he says. If a meet is out of the Q, assume he's content to be pen pals only & behave accordingly

March 1, 2017

But you said he keeps changing your date time with him? Have you been out with him yet?

what I'm getting from it. I asked him to meet one of these weeks.
He says yeah what day works for you?
Then he said this week is crazy for me so maybe next week.

But you said this above what he tells you. So your haven't yet dated him but he continues to text you. Like your being played by him. Sure any one can send you pictures an etc. Can you call him up and talk to him? Right now you two are have been at this for 4 days. If he doesn't have the time to date you or setup time for a date. You need to move on. There has to be interest on his part as well as you. Are you going to wait forever. No you shouldn't. He's just playing games or he's not into you 100%. You shouldn't just have him only you need to have more than one guy interested in you. This way when one acts up like this you can always go to the next guy.

No, we havent met at all. I tried to set up a time but he said hes crazy busy this week. But I knew he was lying when he said he just went to the movies with his coworker. Then he didn't set up a reschedule day.. he just said he will be in touch. So yeah, he's just texting to text I guess. I'm getting stressed out because I think I'm doing something wrong and trying to make myself look good. I just thought if he initiates and says good morning every day and night that it's good but I guess not.

I'll just stop texting him as a whole.. if he does message me again what should I say?

March 1, 2017

It's Tinder. I think you get to be a bit more bold.

Text him something along the lines of:

Texting has been amusing but I don't want a pen pal. I'
m
not saying I wanna hook up but I would like to meet you in person. Do you have any interest in meeting me for coffee at ___ [insert place] on _____ [insert date. . . a few days from now, Thursday might be good]?

See what he says. If a meet is out of the Q, assume he's content to be pen pals only & behave accordingly

Yeah, I dont even have the energy to do that now even.

I feel like he will just respond with something stupid.

So I'll just stop texting as a whole.

March 1, 2017

But you said he keeps changing your date time with him? Have you been out with him yet?

what I'm getting from it. I asked him to meet one of these weeks.
He says yeah what day works for you?
Then he said this week is crazy for me so maybe next week.

But you said this above what he tells you. So your haven't yet dated him but he continues to text you. Like your being played by him. Sure any one can send you pictures an etc. Can you call him up and talk to him? Right now you two are have been at this for 4 days. If he doesn't have the time to date you or setup time for a date. You need to move on. There has to be interest on his part as well as you. Are you going to wait forever. No you shouldn't. He's just playing games or he's not into you 100%. You shouldn't just have him only you need to have more than one guy interested in you. This way when one acts up like this you can always go to the next guy.

Let him do the chasing and see what he does next. Don't answer him. Wait and see what he does? But again this is now how it's suppose to be. Excuses are showing up.

Redflag

We continue to text..
The next day he says he just went to the movies..
In my head I thought, didnt he say he was crazy busy though?

Who did he go to the movies with? It sure wasn't you wasn't it?
I am sure on the Tinder app he has more than you he's talking too.
Either he's seeing other women or he's so busy he found time to
go to the movies. Can't depend on someone like this.

You're absolutely right.

I'm noticing the signs hence why I'm coming on here.

If he already made excuses and saying "maybe" next week like I'm on a string then he either has a gf or he's bored and playing games.

I feel like I'm doing all the initiating and talking anyways.

I'm just going to stop texting and IF he does respond I'm just going to say I'm not really looking for a texting pen pal, I like to meet people in person sorry.

March 1, 2017

No, we havent met at all. I tried to set up a time but he said hes crazy busy this week. But I knew he was lying when he said he just went to the movies with his coworker. Then he didn't set up a reschedule day.. he just said he will be in touch. So yeah, he's just texting to text I guess. I'm getting stressed out because I think I'm doing something wrong and trying to make myself look good. I just thought if he initiates and says good morning every day and night that it's good but I guess not.
I'll just stop texting him as a whole.. if he does message me again what should I say?

Who was the coe-worker a woman? Again he can be flirting, teasing an etc. Play mind games with you. See what makes you tic or how far would you put up with him. You need to find someone else you don't need to be treated like this. Please you see what's going on, I know no one wants to think the worst but it does happen to all of us.

He's gathering all his online tinder women and deciding who he should take to the movies. If he really wanted to you and him would have meet-up already for coffee. It's his lost not yours remember that. I glad your are seeing the light of his actions.

Edited March 1, 2017 by coolheadal

March 1, 2017

Who was the coe-worker a woman? Again he can be flirting, teasing an etc. Play mind games with you. See what makes you tic or how far would you put up with him. You need to find someone else you don't need to be treated like this. Please you see what's going on, I know no one wants to think the worst but it does happen to all of us.

He's gathering all his online tinder women and deciding who he should take to the movies. If he really wanted to you and him would have meet-up already for coffee. It's his lost not yours remember that. I glad your are seeing the light of his actions.

Absolutely. He keep saying he has a roommate.

Is your roommate your gf? A girl? A guy?

Is your coworker who he talked about a girl?

I'll never know and texting everyday is draining.

If he wants to meet me or get to know me he can set up a time to get to know me. I always think it's rude to just ignore someone but I'm starting to see some people play dirty in this world and I have to toughen up.

Thanks! It is his loss definitely.

March 1, 2017

Your welcome, I am glad to help you. So he has a roommate? This is not a good sign move on and find someone who will treat, respect you and be the type of guy you want to be with. Yes it's his lost but he's playing you if he has a female roommate or could be more than he's doing. Some of these guys have girlfriends or might be engaged or even married and playing around.

March 1, 2017

Your welcome, I am glad to help you. So he has a roommate? This is not a good sign move on and find someone who will treat, respect you and be the type of guy you want to be with. Yes it's his lost but he's playing you if he has a female roommate or could be more than he's doing. Some of these guys have girlfriends or might be engaged or even married and playing around.

Update: He responded and I told him Im not looking for a penpal and I'm bored texting. He said , " I'm boring huh? Sorry, I'm more of a face to face kind of guy.. goodnight."

So I told him it didnt seem like he wanted to meet..

He said sorry for brushing you off. When I meant I was crazy busy this week, I meant that my mom is having surgery in a few days and I'm taking that weekend off ( his off days) thats why he suggested next week. That he is sorry and he wont be so distant.

I wasn't swayed but I told him I hope your mom recovers safely and no worries. He says he appreciates it and he won't act so distant/spacey and he will talk to me soon.

Not sure what to take out it... Not sure if this is the lengths that players go just to keep talking to someone. I didn't respond after that and I wouldn't be surprised if he ghost. If he does come back what do I do?

Also, he said the coworker was a guy... didn't say anything about the roommate though.

March 1, 2017

My guess is he'll *poof* now. It's been four days (!) and you are already accusing him of things and getting needy.

You asked him to meet "one of these weeks" and he suggested "next week" because he was busy this week. That seems completely reasonable to me, that he might already have plans this week. One week is hardly someone stringing you along. The fact that he went to the movies this week is none of your business. "Busy" can also include fun, relaxing activities.

Anyway, if you are already bored after four days of texting, you are texting far too much. I would encourage you to chill out in the future.

March 1, 2017

No, we havent met at all. I tried to set up a time but he said hes crazy busy this week. But I knew he was lying when he said he just went to the movies with his coworker. Then he didn't set up a reschedule day.. he just said he will be in touch. So yeah, he's just texting to text I guess. I'm getting stressed out because I think I'm doing something wrong and trying to make myself look good. I just thought if he initiates and says good morning every day and night that it's good but I guess not.
I'll just stop texting him as a whole.. if he does message me again what should I say?

"I'm no longer interested, please stop texting me..." block/delete.

March 1, 2017

Update: He responded and I told him Im not looking for a penpal and I'm bored texting. He said , " I'm boring huh? Sorry, I'm more of a face to face kind of guy.. goodnight."

So I told him it didnt seem like he wanted to meet..
He said sorry for brushing you off. When I meant I was crazy busy this week, I meant that my mom is having surgery in a few days and I'm taking that weekend off ( his off days) thats why he suggested next week. That he is sorry and he wont be so distant.

I wasn't swayed but I told him I hope your mom recovers safely and no worries. He says he appreciates it and he won't act so distant/spacey and he will talk to me soon.

Not sure what to take out it... Not sure if this is the lengths that players go just to keep talking to someone. I didn't respond after that and I wouldn't be surprised if he ghost. If he does come back what do I do?

Also, he said the coworker was a guy... didn't say anything about the roommate though.

The lies keep getting better huh............stop talking to this guy.

March 1, 2017

The lies keep getting better huh............stop talking to this guy.

Yeah, agreed. His excuses seem way too timely.

March 1, 2017

Personally speaking, I've dated both men and women and I hate it when women get very demanding and I hardly know them.

I would have let it go on another week. If he couldn't make a date within 2 weeks then I would have written him off. I know for myself, I tend to have only a few days per week to make dates and do things socially. So if I already booked them, the new guy from OLD needs to make plans with me for the next week. I don't jump to conclusions with men who do the same. But I will drop a person who just messages or texts endlessly.

March 1, 2017

My guess is he'll *poof* now. It's been four days (!) and you are already accusing him of things and getting needy.

You asked him to meet "one of these weeks" and he suggested "next week" because he was busy this week. That seems completely reasonable to me, that he might already have plans this week. One week is hardly someone stringing you along. The fact that he went to the movies this week is none of your business. "Busy" can also include fun, relaxing activities.

Anyway, if you are already bored after four days of texting, you are texting far too much. I would encourage you to chill out in the future.

I didn't accuse him to his face. I just told him I was bored and he didn't seem interested. I was being upfront. When he texts me he doesn't really ask me things and he sounds uninterested to an extent. What caught me was that he said he was crazy busy but went to the movies. Yes that's not my business but like I said he didn't seem interested. Im not acting needy because one I couldn't care less if he did poof, I'm trying to learn how to decipher through lies and not be strung along because I came out of a complete **** relationship that almost killed me.

March 1, 2017

The lies keep getting better huh............stop talking to this guy.

How can you tell there lies though?

What IF, not saying it is, he is telling the truth?

Honestly I'm still learning and I dont know how to tell exactly.

The only red flag is the constant texting and then the movies.

Like another comment said, the movies were none of my business really.

It's suspicious but I can't be sure.

He said he will definitely keep in touch regarding next week and he has.. so idk.

March 1, 2017

Personally speaking, I've dated both men and women and I hate it when women get very demanding and I hardly know them.

I would have let it go on another week. If he couldn't make a date within 2 weeks then I would have written him off. I know for myself, I tend to have only a few days per week to make dates and do things socially. So if I already booked them, the new guy from OLD needs to make plans with me for the next week. I don't jump to conclusions with men who do the same. But I will drop a person who just messages or texts endlessly.

I understand that. I'm not trying to be demanding but I'd rather be demanding than sit like a fool. He DIDNT set up a time next week.. he said "maybe" next week which is still having me on the fence. Usually I would think guys would say oh I'm crazy busy this week, but next week when I'm off we can. I don't know him yeah, but he's cute. BUT I'm not putting up with any bull. I did enough of that with my last realtionship and it took a toll on my mental health. I just want to make sure I'm doing it right this time.

March 1, 2017

Yeah, agreed. His excuses seem way too timely.

You think so?

Too timely as in his excuses fit perfectly into the scenario?

Idk. That's why I'm here tbh....

March 1, 2017

Well I haven't heard from him today so he may indeed have gone poof.

Interesting. Not sure if I weeded out another pen pal or I may have sent a potential one away with my overthinking. Yikes.

March 2, 2017

How can you tell there lies though?
What IF, not saying it is, he is telling the truth?
Honestly I'm still learning and I dont know how to tell exactly.
The only red flag is the constant texting and then the movies.
Like another comment said, the movies were none of my business really.
It's suspicious but I can't be sure.
He said he will definitely keep in touch regarding next week and he has.. so idk.

Because I'm older and wiser with a boat load of experience. Over time you learn to see right through people's bs.

March 2, 2017

Because I'm older and wiser with a boat load of experience. Over time you learn to see right through people's bs.

This is exactly it, but it also highlights that these are purely our opinions, based on experience. We could be wrong, he could be telling the truth, but it just doesn't look like it to us. His excuses are suspicious because they are reactive, not proactive. If I were him and I was busy because I was taking care of my mom after surgery I would tell the person that. Who wouldn't that earn bonus points with?

March 2, 2017

I doubt seriously he went to the movies with a male or female friend but instead a date. He is probably dating more women than just you until he finds the right one for him. If he wanted to just catch a movie he could have done so with you. He has someone else who is higher on the priority list and that's who he more than likely took to the movies.

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Texting a guy for 4 days.. not sure its going anywhere.???

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