Art_Critic Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 From my experience women who have BPD and the like are absolutely incredible in bed, they love sex and use it to their advantage. Of course that is painting with a broad brush but the personality types also can be quite intoxication in the beginning and suck you in, even making you pick them over someone else you might be dating who in the long run might be better for you. Time to rethink what you are attracted to in the beginning, it seems you like what they present... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minestie Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) @OP: you and me both brother, you and me both. I've literally had this happen to me twice over the course of the past 2 months (in fact I've been quite messed up because of the last one for a while now - there's a thread about it in this forum right now), and at least 4 other times in the past few years. I think it is a combination of two factors in my case - maybe this applies to you too? 1) The hot & cold, bipolar type is usually in need of a lot of affection during their "hot" phase. If you are like me, the sort of guy that does everything passionately and puts a lot of effort into all things, you will be able to provide that, while other guys won't. Hence, she will pursue you (emphasis on "she" - you usually don't even have to do much other than just follow suit) during her hot phase, and leave you hanging once she's had enough. 2) I have a bit of an addictive personality, and this tickles the same part of the brain as a game. Typical video game / psychological addiction structure: they give you small victories without much work at first, then they make everything hard, then they give you another small victory, then they make it super-hard again, etc. This keeps you "hooked" for the longest time, as you try to discover what the hell you're doing wrong and find the patterns of what triggers her cold phases (hint: it's usually not you). And before you know it, you're addicted to them! I'm a crazily competitive person, so I constantly one-up myself in my attempt to make things work, which always ends up leading me on a path dangerous to myself. There, this is what I think has been happening to me for the longest time! Maybe one or two things in there apply to you too, and reading this will be useful for you. Take care and good luck! This is a hard thing to go through. Edited March 1, 2017 by Minestie Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 The crazy ones do tend to be better in bed. Seriously, though, I don't think anyone is sane. No one makes it out of childhood unscathed. We all have issues. I believe it's really a matter of finding a mate whose crazy is compatible with your crazy. I disagree with some of the other posters. I don't think a "fixer upper" is necessarily a bad thing. Everyone goes through rough patches in life. As difficult as it is to find a compatible partner, it seems ridiculous to pass on someone who shows promise as a mate because they're temporarily a mess. The trick is knowing which are temporarily under construction and which are permanent disaster areas. Do you only date women who are educated professionals? You might consider widening your pool. There are plenty of good women who are highly intelligent who never completed a degree program. Have you kept in touch with old friends from High School and college? Do you have friends at work? If you're reasonably social, have you thought of asking friends to introduce you to eligible women? Pro Tip: Married people seem to develop a deep desire to see everyone they have ever met happily paired off. If you're at the age where most of your friends are either married or going to marry soon, tap them for assistance finding a partner. Your friends spouses have friends and colleagues of their own that they could introduce you to. Do you attend church or do volunteer work? Shared religion and/or a shared passion for a cause mean you at least have something in common and give great opportunities to start conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Everyone going to have some sort of issues not one is perfect today. But online dating has it ups and downs. Today it's easier to find someone online than to walk up to a stranger on the street. Most people can't even get the nerve to do that. Church, stores and etc. doesn't work like it did years ago we're all strangers. We all have to understand everyone going to have a different experience just not that simple in life. We have to make and do what we can to survive. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Would you say that you've had a good or bad childhood? Has your life been stressful or reasonably relaxed so far? Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Devil's Advocate, so bear with me: how sure are you that these women are all actually crazy? Or is that your own perception? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I meet mostly women online. I'm kind of a shy person, and honestly, I hate meeting women online. I wish I had the self-confidence to approach women everywhere and anywhere. Are you the one doing the approaching? If so, you're not attractING them, you're attracted TO them. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Devil's Advocate, so bear with me: how sure are you that these women are all actually crazy? Or is that your own perception? Yes, we've yet to hear the definition of "crazy" in the OP's opinion. Can you explain what you're talking about, OP? I mean we've got armchair diagnoses going on here (like BPD) of these women or "crazy women" in general without even one sentence having yet been given describing what the OP is even talking about. If we know what he means, maybe we can help a bit better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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