Stopme Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Hi, so I was seeing this guy kind of friends with benefits, we weren't really in a relationship although there was a lot of communication. Things got to the point where I wanted more and he didn't so things just kind of died off. We had a bit of a tiff about something and then NC. A week later he texted because i left something at his house and he didn't want me to feel upset about any misunderstandings so he wanted to clear the air. When I went to his house (I know should have gone out for coffee) as soon as i got in the door he dragged me off to bed lol. Of course being a woman I interpreted this as reconnecting. I asked him to put me back on facebook, he said he would. Anyway after I left he didn't put me on facebook and isn't responding to texts, obviously he didn't want to 'reconnect'. So instead of making me feel better by clearing the air, he has made me feel like crap and used for sex. What's up with that? Yes I know I could have said no but the chemistry has always been there. 1
love4me1991 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Let him go . Sorry to say but he obviously does not care about your feelings, only his own . Don't fall into his trap again.
preraph Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 He did clear the air. He let you know very clearly that all he is interested in is sex and he does not care what you want. 2
gorf Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Hi, so I was seeing this guy kind of friends with benefits, we weren't really in a relationship although there was a lot of communication. Things got to the point where I wanted more and he didn't so things just kind of died off. We had a bit of a tiff about something and then NC. A week later he texted because i left something at his house and he didn't want me to feel upset about any misunderstandings so he wanted to clear the air. When I went to his house (I know should have gone out for coffee) as soon as i got in the door he dragged me off to bed lol. Of course being a woman I interpreted this as reconnecting. I asked him to put me back on facebook, he said he would. Anyway after I left he didn't put me on facebook and isn't responding to texts, obviously he didn't want to 'reconnect'. So instead of making me feel better by clearing the air, he has made me feel like crap and used for sex. What's up with that? Yes I know I could have said no but the chemistry has always been there. I notice people a lot of times, guys too, use the words chemistry, even when things are bat crap horrible. Like burning flames of hell horrible they still like the person cause the chemistry etc etc. That way of thinking is going to get you into trouble and the guy you end up with is going to be no different. Really now, evaluate a guy and know his intentions. It was a fling to start, he didnt want more, so for example going to his place (just as example, I know you said you knew you should have done coffee) you know he wasnt the coffee type. He told you before NC, and showed you non-verbally the way things started between you two. If chemistry everyone talks about is a magical feeling that causes us to continue with someone who does not want a relationship, I would suggest using a different word that is more accurate. Cause it gets a lot of people into heart break. 3
stillafool Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 He didn't use you because you were more than happy to trot off to the bedroom with him. Just excuse this as break off sex because you two were sexually attracted to each other and move on. He only wanted sex. 3
GoldSparkz Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 This is why you should avoid these FWB arrangements. One person always develops feelings that usually aren't reciprocated. The only winner in this situation is usually the guy because all he sees is sex. I would walk away from this while you have your self respect. Next time you feel like finding a FWB, ask yourself if the sex is really worth losing your dignity over.
kendahke Posted March 3, 2017 Posted March 3, 2017 Hi, so I was seeing this guy kind of friends with benefits, we weren't really in a relationship although there was a lot of communication. Things got to the point where I wanted more and he didn't so things just kind of died off. We had a bit of a tiff about something and then NC. A week later he texted because i left something at his house and he didn't want me to feel upset about any misunderstandings so he wanted to clear the air. When I went to his house (I know should have gone out for coffee) as soon as i got in the door he dragged me off to bed lol. Of course being a woman I interpreted this as reconnecting. I asked him to put me back on facebook, he said he would. Anyway after I left he didn't put me on facebook and isn't responding to texts, obviously he didn't want to 'reconnect'. So instead of making me feel better by clearing the air, he has made me feel like crap and used for sex. What's up with that? Yes I know I could have said no but but nothing. You could have and should have said no. Nope. This isn't breadcrumbing. He never had a conversation with you about reconnecting. This is you trying to machine a reconciliation with someone who has never apologized for his part in your break up and never expressed any intention before taking off his clothes that he wanted to get back with you. He just knew exactly how to seduce you and that you'd go for it, "being a woman" and all... So no, he didn't use you for sex. You made a bad gamble with no information on which to back it up and came out on the short end. What's up is that you need to not be afraid of hearing what you don't want to hear when what you need is clarification on the guy's intentions with you. It's an easy enough question to ask him and it should have been asked before you took a stitch of clothing off.
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