Why did she accuse me of this and should I confront her or let it go?

[theconfusedathlete]

So my current girlfriend is a few years older than me and we've been dating close to 2 years now. I met her a couple years back in one of my classes. To be honest she actually was my college professor. Well a little about me, I like to play a variety of sports as well as keep up my appearance: go for walks, jogs and hikes, bike ride down town, work out at the gym, swim etc. So I've always been in shape, but I never really had a preference for women, so I've dated whoever I wanted: Short girls, Taller girls (I'm 5'11 so I've dated a volleyball player and basketball player who both were 6'2 up), athletic girls, bigger girls (bbw), different ethnic backgrounds, religious beliefs, girls from different countries, like I said, no preferences so I've always enjoyed a good dating life.

 

Well my girlfriend 2years ago, at the time was on the bigger side (but boy did she have a backside that I loved checking out). She never noticed me eye goggling her. But she always seemed a bit rude and condescending. I even was being graded much harsher than my fellow classmates. Half way in the semester, I decided to stay in class after everyone else left to confront her, because I began to hate it and if needed I was going to talk to the Dean of Students about this unfair behavior. Well she told me that she hated "my type" that she knows guys like me objectify women and want them to be some tiny, unrealistic thing, and that "no offense" but that people like me were stupid. I told her that's not true, that I'm not like that, and she said that was BS. And I tried to ask her why was she judging me so harshly, but she cut me off and told me that I should exchange classes with a different professor, that she's sorry but she's not gonna change her views on a-holes like me.

 

Well before she could say anything else, or do anything, I lost it, and did something that I thought I wouldn't do in a million years, I kissed her. Well it looked at first like she was gonna slap me, and said something that I couldn't hear under her breath, and ended up kissing me back. Well, things quickly escalated, and one thing led to another, and long story short, we were at her place just going at it.

 

Well for the first two months, it was just purely physical and discrete, but one day I asked her out on a genuine date, and we became close emotionally after that. As the semester ended, we just saw each other daily, and she went public about our relationship. Last spring, I moved in with her (she owns a house, I was living at the dorms), and ever since then, she's began a diet and has lost a considerable amount of weight (about 100lbs), often times joining me on my workouts.

 

This relationship is pretty awesome, and she's very funny, loving, spoils me rotten, and overall a great companion, but recently I remembered how cold she was to me at the beginning. I've never judged other people, and was always open to being friends with everyone, and giving every woman a shot at dating and other stuff. So it's made me feel bad that this woman that I'm starting to fall in love with has judged me so horribly in the beginning. Is this something I should bother bringing up, or should I just drop it and move on?

[O'Malley]

I think you should discuss it with her - not confront - because it still is affecting your perception of her and your relationship.

 

Her comments were certainly out of line in a professional sense. She should have suggested that it might be preferable for you to switch to another class, with no mention of personal feelings. If you were an undergrad at the time, regardless of your closeness in ages, your relationship started out from a power imbalance. I'm not saying that it was right, but her attraction towards you and wanting to cross the student-professor boundary might have caused her to lash out.

[theconfusedathlete]

You could be right. I'm not exactly sure. Again, she assumed that I wasn't going to be into her.

[todreaminblue]

people who act defensive like that often hide what they truly feel......she was attracted to you and fighting it...sexual tension ....your actions and hers prove that line of thought..she might have thought you were too young i am assuming you are younger....so she was trying to talk herself out of feeling for you what she did...this is also not unusual.....thats my guess.....when you fight attraction you can be brutal....if you are insecure about the reciprocation...brutal to yoruself and the person you are attracted to ......

 

 

it is also possible to warm to people......over time..who you never thought you woudl warm too...done this myself.....i would take the relationship for what feelings she shares now......and if its pretty obvious.....you guys are really getting along good...leave the negative in the past move on with positivity today and tomorrow...forget the words in yesterday she told you when she fought the attraction...she gave up the fight when she began a relationship with you so you do the same.....good luck...deb

[Gr8fuln2020]

Please excuse me if I am getting this wrong....SO, you want to FINALLY get it off your shoulder, feelings, perceptions, misconceptions, etc. that happened 2-years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? You have a gf that is treating you as you should be treated and NOT the way she could have based on her initial feelings AND YOU WANT TO CONFRONT HER 2-years later???????!!!!!!

 

You proved to her that she was wrong. B/c of this, she started dating you AND she is showing that she approves of you as you are. Why the the world are you harboring this resentment after 2-years??? Let it go, man!

 

People find it difficult enough to find healthy partners. It sounds like you have one. She frickin' lost 100-lbs to be healthier, slimmer, likely sexier for herself and you!

 

The person who needs help or is dysfunctional is you.

 

LET-IT-GO....unless there are other things you are not sharing here.

[Tressugar]

Did I read that correctly?

 

You are starting to fall in love with her after two years of dating?

[act00]

I see nothing good coming out of confronting a misguided assumption from TWO years ago.

[d0nnivain]

You gotta let this go.

 

 

Two years ago, you assaulted your professor but like something out of a porno, she was happy you kissed her & you have been in an inappropriate relationship since then.

 

 

Now, you want to b1tch at her because when she though you were objectifying her she called you on your audacity.

 

 

Is this a real post?

 

 

Thank your lucky stars she like you as opposed to called the cops & booted you out school .

[NTV]

Dude. What are you thinking? This relationship won't end well will it?