ConfusedGirl17 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I met a guy halfway through January and we've been on two dates. We both agreed that we didn't want a relationship right now and we would date and see where it went. We both said we would talk about it after a few months and see where it went. We are both going on separate girlie/lad holidays in August and said we would talk properly after that and see how we feel. We were texting non stop everyday but for the last few days, it has seriously dwindled. I told him I was free from work until Thursday and he said he was working 6 days a week doing overtime and said that we will arrange to do something again when we were both free. He's trying to save as much money as he can to pay off his holiday. He told me today that he's working tonight but off tomorrow. I've send him a message saying "I got an idea if you're up for it?" I was thinking of asking him down tomorrow. I'm worried though cos he hasn't been as responsive as usual and I'm wondering if he's losing interest or if he really is just tired. We live about an hour apart and he told me he doesn't mind the travelling cos it's worth it. Am I reading too much into the less texting? Do guys really not place much on texting like us girls do? I just want to get to know him better but it's gonna be hard if he's working massive overtime for the next 5 weeks like he said.
Erik30 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I don't think there's a problem since he texted you today, but keep in mind that you both agreed you didn't want a relationship right now... so he might be talking to other girls. Also you say you just want to see where it goes, but at the same time you have this "deadline" in August. Maybe that put some pressure on everything. About the texting frequency, I don't think it's a gender thing. (Though I don't like long texting conversations myself) I have noticed that whenever a girl suddenly starts texting less and taking more time to reply, she's usually losing interest. So now I do see it as a red flag whenever I notice a big change in texting behaviour.
smackie9 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 He's working massive overtime for the next 5 weeks.....that would explain the lack of texting:rolleyes: 1
smackie9 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Just my opinion......if the guy can't make time to date you, you find someone who can........texting is not dating someone. 2
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 He's working massive overtime for the next 5 weeks.....that would explain the lack of texting:rolleyes: Yeah I know you've a point. I did say we would sort something when we're both free and he "yeah we will alright" so that's always good!!
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 I don't think there's a problem since he texted you today, but keep in mind that you both agreed you didn't want a relationship right now... so he might be talking to other girls. Also you say you just want to see where it goes, but at the same time you have this "deadline" in August. Maybe that put some pressure on everything. About the texting frequency, I don't think it's a gender thing. (Though I don't like long texting conversations myself) I have noticed that whenever a girl suddenly starts texting less and taking more time to reply, she's usually losing interest. So now I do see it as a red flag whenever I notice a big change in texting behaviour. He was a bit panicked about hurting me when we agreed we wouldn't be committed and wanted us to both be on the same page. I just said we would go with it and see what happens. He did say he didn't expect us to get on as well as we are but wants to take it slow. Which I'm ok with but I think my problem is I always overthink stuff.
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 Just my opinion......if the guy can't make time to date you, you find someone who can........texting is not dating someone. We have been on a couple of dates but he said now he has to work a lot of overtime but we will sort something when we both are free.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I met a guy halfway through January and we've been on two dates. We both agreed that we didn't want a relationship right now and we would date and see where it went. We both said we would talk about it after a few months and see where it went. We are both going on separate girlie/lad holidays in August and said we would talk properly after that and see how we feel. We were texting non stop everyday but for the last few days, it has seriously dwindled. I told him I was free from work until Thursday and he said he was working 6 days a week doing overtime and said that we will arrange to do something again when we were both free. He's trying to save as much money as he can to pay off his holiday. He told me today that he's working tonight but off tomorrow. I've send him a message saying "I got an idea if you're up for it?" I was thinking of asking him down tomorrow. I'm worried though cos he hasn't been as responsive as usual and I'm wondering if he's losing interest or if he really is just tired. We live about an hour apart and he told me he doesn't mind the travelling cos it's worth it. Am I reading too much into the less texting? Do guys really not place much on texting like us girls do? I just want to get to know him better but it's gonna be hard if he's working massive overtime for the next 5 weeks like he said. I don't quite understand the angst here. You two are not exclusive. You two have decided to come back and huddle up IN AUGUST(!) to determine whether you two want to be exclusive? You two have agreed that neither of you want a relationship right now, but you're acting insecure. Perhaps you DO want a relationship? Did you or he bring up that you/he was not ready for a relationship? It's only been 2 dates, but once you tell someone that you're not ready, he/she is going to lose interest and/or refocus his/her priorities whatever the motivation. IF he is actually working much more than I can understand the lower frequency of texting, but there are some days that he doesn't even respond? Men don't text as much...don't know about that. If it's in his interest, he will text as much as the lady. 2
Author ConfusedGirl17 Posted March 1, 2017 Author Posted March 1, 2017 I don't quite understand the angst here. You two are not exclusive. You two have decided to come back and huddle up IN AUGUST(!) to determine whether you two want to be exclusive? You two have agreed that neither of you want a relationship right now, but you're acting insecure. Perhaps you DO want a relationship? Did you or he bring up that you/he was not ready for a relationship? It's only been 2 dates, but once you tell someone that you're not ready, he/she is going to lose interest and/or refocus his/her priorities whatever the motivation. IF he is actually working much more than I can understand the lower frequency of texting, but there are some days that he doesn't even respond? Men don't text as much...don't know about that. If it's in his interest, he will text as much as the lady. We both agreed that we didn't want a relationship as we are not long out of one with different people. We said we wanted to really get to know each other well before deciding what to do. I've jumped into relationships in the past too quickly only to find out they weren't actually the person I thought they were He works for an American company so his hours are during the night and he works 12 hour shifts so he is quite tired. There isn't days he goes without texting. I hear from him everyday so I know I'm just overthinking things which is my biggest problem most times. I do always get a reply, I just wondered if there was maybe a reason for the lower frequency of them. He did say today that he is off tomorrow and then asked when I start my new job so I was wondering if that was maybe a hint that he wanted to see me? He said he doesn't like inviting himself to people's houses. Not even his mates. We are not exclusive but I am hoping that if we continue to get on as well as we are, then something might come of it. If not, I'll have had a good time anyways.
coolheadal Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Spend to time text today and your never going to understand each other like that. He is focus only on working now your either not as important to him so that's why the text is not coming through like prior. I've been in situations like this and this is no way to live around or wasting time to get a text and there isn't anything coming in. You should be the main concern, he should want to take you out when he can. Wasting your valuable time for a man who doesn't show enough interest or concern is not the way to go! 1
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