ACE92 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Don't know if this post belongs here but here it goes: So this is kind of a long story but I had been dating a girl for 6 months and she went last month to study abroad so we didn't make anything official. Everything was going perfect and she was the one keeping communication open. But we had a fight because I got angry because she might stay there more time. She said she didn't want any pressure and maybe we should just wait till she got back. I panicked and got needy and started to text her a lot for a week(she later said she felt this as pressure) We still Skype but then she said she was feeling attraction for a guy there and that even though nothing had happened she wanted to be honest and that she did want to try things but when she gets back. So after talking I told her that it was best that we didn't talk until she came back and wanted to give ourselves another go. Did I do the right thing? Is there a chance? I did thank her for being that honest and at least I know that if we have a relationship down the road I can trust she will say what she has to say
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Yours is a very black & white approach. If it works for you great. I think not trying to maintain exclusivity during the phase of her life is smart. Cutting all contact, . . . seems a little harsh to me. I'd keep the lines of communication open so that you had a sense of when she was returning. With no talking, you become out of sight out of mind. If you were still around in some capacity -- no pressure but maybe a phone call a month with zero expectations -- she'd have a sense of what was waiting for her at home. Since you opted for NC, act like. Feel free to pursue other woman. Perhaps someone else will catch your eye & then it won't matter what this girl does.
Author ACE92 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 d0nnivain Thanks for the reply. She is most likely just staying abroad for two more months. If she was going to stay for another 3 months I would pretty much give up on the relationship anyway, so that is why I told her to contact me if she was back. The reason I don't want to contact her is because I feel anything I say at this point she will feel as pressure. I want to give her this time to think if she really wants to be with me. If she contacts me before that I would not ignore her. I respect that she told me the truth, because it means that she at least respects me and cares about me. I know there are no certainties, but I pretty much feel like we will resume our relationship when/if she comes back in two months. It's just that sometimes fear of her not wanting to come back gets the better of me (since I know it is also a possibility)
Author ACE92 Posted March 12, 2017 Author Posted March 12, 2017 (edited) Just thought Id bump this thread to update on the situation. After two weeks she reached out and wanted to talk. We skyped for about half an hour but she didn't say anything about the issue. She just asked me how I was and what I wanted her to bring me from her trip. She also confirmed she is coming back at the end of next month. Not sure what to make of it but I suppose it's a good sign Edited March 12, 2017 by ACE92
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