Author Pretensit-y Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 Should have bit him and drew blood.. no wait.. he might have liked it.. EEEK! Who knows? Hahaha
Lilyana76 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 That is a pretty intimate touch at any level of relationship.. hands on the throat signifies a trust thing to me. I have to really TRUST you to let you lay a hand on the front of my neck. 2nd date trust hasn't been developed yet.. not a good thing if you ask me. 2
preraph Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I wonder if he watches a lot of porn:bunny: Undoubtedly. This is the perfect example of wrong bad ideas and expectations guys get from watching porn. 3
preraph Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Yup, I'm often a "hand-very-gently-on-the-face-and/or-side-of-the-neck" kisser. Absolutely minimal pressure applied. No one's run off from it. Yup. If he applies more pressure than you feel safe with, it's within your right to walk away. Conversely, there are also women who like to be choked during sex. Women who are otherwise smart and classy, who I never would've thought would enjoy that sort of thing. Recently during sex I gently put my hand a girl's throat and her eyes lit up and she urged "Yeah, do it! Do it!" I was sort of hesitant at first but she assured me she wanted it to happen. I was afraid I was going to hurt her and I felt a little weird about it (I was also afraid I was going to bruise her neck) but she seriously enjoyed it. I asked her about it later and she said she'd never had that done before, but she'd always wanted to feel dominated. Everyone has weird kinks and psychological nuances that turn them on or off sexually. The key is first and foremost being safe and comfortable with them. If OP can have attain that level of safety and comfort with this guy first through some kind of discussion or otherwise, she might realize he's not necessarily a serial killer. People have accidentally died doing that before. And it's beside the point. This is a big red flag. 1
Miss Spider Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Pretens, I know exactly what you're talking about because I've had it happen to me on the second date too. It's not a chokeout, there's barely any pressure, but yeah, it implies it's a casual thing to me. I got that feeling when the dude did it to me, and I was right. It's too much too soon. It's somewhat disrespectful and pushing your boundaries. Like others, I've know doubt this guy got this from poem.
RecentChange Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I love a hand on my throat. And the men that I have been with who have initiated such a thing we're the furthest from killers or rapest - more like pleasers But I agree way too much for a second date. In my experience a guy has only gone there after a relationship and trust had been established, or at the very least a taste for such a thing had been discussed. So, no, I don't think he is necessarily an axe murderer..... But it is kinda inappropriate. You should be able to clearly speak your mind and communicate what is, and isn't okay. 3
normal person Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 People have accidentally died doing that before. And it's beside the point. This is a big red flag. Totally fair, but I'm just using it to illustrate the variability of what's acceptable to some and not to others. Some women will beg you for it, some will think you're insane. It's a matter of personal taste. Some men who put their hand on your neck are as normal as anyone, some guys who won't even touch a girl until date 4 can be serial killers. That gruff looking construction worker might be the gentler than a puppy in the bedroom, and that conservative looking librarian might have rape fantasies. You just don't know. I'm not suggesting anyone not be extremely careful or ever do anything they don't feel 100% comfortable with. But appearances aren't everything, so do your homework on the other person. And to be honest, I felt pretty odd when she wanted me to do it and I'd hesitate to do it again (and it was a very half hearted effort). Obviously she felt comfortable enough with me to ask for it, but I learned my own limit on that one.
rushed Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 It seems like there was a lot of physical contact initiated by both parties going on during the second date, so I don't really see an issue with the hand on the throat. See what he suggests for the third date. Depending on where and what he suggests, you'll have more of an idea of what he's after.
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